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Message
re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD
Posted on 5/3/24 at 9:51 am to Sam Quint
Posted on 5/3/24 at 9:51 am to Sam Quint
quote:
i am basing this totally on my own anecdotal experience, but i know that in order to receive a security clearance for the government, you have to answer "have you ever had a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder". there isnt really any wiggle room for whether or not that diagnosis was changed. again, i understand what you're saying, i just think doctors should be very, very careful with such a diagnosis on a child.
Well, sure.
But OP openly admits his daughter threatened to kill her 1 year old sibling. At some point, her (and really the client’s too) safety now has to come before the concern of her potentially applying for a government job down the road.
That said, we’re all having this discussion out of our scope since none of us personally treat the kid, obviously. Given that insurance will also push back on a BPD diagnosis before the age of 16, my guess is they have very good reason to diagnosis her with it.
1
Posted on 5/3/24 at 9:52 am to wheelz007
quote:
They love new relationships. It almost puts them on cloud 9.
quote:
The Triangle game.
quote:
They've been telling everyone how much of an a-hole you are. So they jump you and get a fight started right before you see family. Or while you're on your way to family thing. You get out of the car al angry and pissed. You get short with someone there... "see? I told you he was a f'n a-hole".... and you just stepped in it.
quote:
There is NO conversation you can have. No special wording. THere are no "homerun phrases" that get through. You can't write a letter... none of that.
No matter how you feel like a certain conversation went, you will be revisiting this very same issue. There is no changing their behavior.
You are not getting through. There is sooo much going on inside them that most of us cannot understand.
You may see them "on their best behavior" for a period of time, or you may have a new best friend (which is wild) but don't worry. In 90 days or less, you will see it all over again.
man, these REALLY resonate. especially the bolded one. that's actualyl one of the things that led me to discover and learn about BPD. i started googling things that were happening in my relationship that made no sense, and that was one of the things. because it was a total trend. we woudl end up in these big fights right before seeing friends or family or some sort of fun event and i finally started piecing it together - like this ALWAYS HAPPENS for no reason!
it's wild.
This post was edited on 5/3/24 at 9:54 am
Posted on 5/3/24 at 9:53 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:
But OP openly admits his daughter threatened to kill her 1 year old sibling. At some point, her (and really the client’s too) safety now has to come before the concern of her potentially applying for a government job down the road
lol ok that's fair
Posted on 5/8/24 at 1:14 pm to Leotiger725
Checking in on you Leo.
How are you? How's your daughter?
How are you? How's your daughter?
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:58 pm to Leotiger725
Maybe a lobotomy?
Drastic measure, but not sure much else will work to correct the severity of behavioral issues and consequences outside of brain surgery.
Maybe a forensic neurologist can identify abnormalities and root causes of the dysfunction and bring balance with pharma-therapy. Add Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as adjunct treatment, but understand her behavioral issues are medically based, brain-wise, and that has to be treated first.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 6:21 pm to Leotiger725
To quote Shakespeare, "Get thee to a nunnery (or girls boarding school run by nuns)
Posted on 5/23/24 at 1:08 am to jrobic4
Sorry for the bump, but curious how things are for you Leo. Continued prayers for you Brother.
Posted on 5/23/24 at 1:58 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:
DSM allows diagnosis as young as 12 with symptoms persistent for at least a year. It’s rare but it happens.
No it doesn’t. Age <18 is an exclusion criteria . Look it up in the actual DSM V and not google. DSM is dog shite anyway and lost all credibility in my book when they started to call pedophilia a mental disability.
Get your kid a counselor who focuses on DBT and be wary of the shite on the internet or from people without any real clinical knowledge/experience/credentials. Have her take the MMPI-A…a psychologist should be able to administer it..it’s honestly what I’ll order for patients if I suspect underlying character pathology .. it’s long but it’s validated and hard to fake/cheat.
Don’t let some dumb frick mid level NP or PA put your kid on an antipsychotic that’s gonna do nothing but give her metabolic disease by the time she’s 18. My best advice is love. Love em through it.. any thing else confirms the warped narrative they’re building upon inside that they’re unloveable destined to be abandoned
Posted on 5/23/24 at 5:41 am to Espritdescorps
quote:
No it doesn’t. Age <18 is an exclusion criteria . Look it up in the actual DSM V and not google. DSM is dog shite anyway and lost all credibility in my book when they started to call pedophilia a mental disability. Get your kid a counselor who focuses on DBT and be wary of the shite on the internet or from people without any real clinical knowledge/experience/credentials. Have her take the MMPI-A…a psychologist should be able to administer it..it’s honestly what I’ll order for patients if I suspect underlying character pathology .. it’s long but it’s validated and hard to fake/cheat. Don’t let some dumb frick mid level NP or PA put your kid on an antipsychotic that’s gonna do nothing but give her metabolic disease by the time she’s 18. My best advice is love. Love em through it.. any thing else confirms the warped narrative they’re building upon inside that they’re unloveable destined to be abandoned
This is expert advice, rare to see on this board. OP and others dealing with children with similar behaviors should take it. So many good points. But one I will reiterate is extreme overprescribing of antipsychotics for children (but also for adults), often done by the least knowledgeable mental health professionals (Psych NP/PA primarily). Antipsychotics have severe metabolic side effects (severe weight gain, giving children diabetes etc).
Posted on 5/23/24 at 5:55 am to Leotiger725
Find a psychologist that specializes in DBT. You could take her to a mental institution to get evaluated first. Then when the results come in you can either do an intense therapy program involving several doctors in one place, or you can leave to find someone with a private practice. The PP won't do intense therapy though, at least from my experience. The problem with the mental institution is that it is depressing and probably a run down facility. You have to get buzzed in at every door and the bathrooms are locked. Extreme patients are there.
The psychologist will recommend a psychiatrist should she need meds or a psych eval.
She needs therapy. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
The psychologist will recommend a psychiatrist should she need meds or a psych eval.
She needs therapy. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
Posted on 5/23/24 at 6:12 am to Leotiger725
I can tell you that she needs intensive help. It better happen before she hits puberty. Once she does, if she hasn't already, at least by 14, she will seek out boys/men for all the wrong reasons, and it will get worse.
Here is my question to you: What "triggered" her BPD?
Here is my question to you: What "triggered" her BPD?
Posted on 5/23/24 at 7:01 am to NewOrleansBlend
quote:
But one I will reiterate is extreme overprescribing of antipsychotics for children
Yeah it’s criminal.. if you HAVE to put a kid on a mood stabilizer , lamictal is the way to go. I see a lot of bad advice on this board.. but everyone who has recommended DBT is spot on and is probably recommending out experience dealing with a family member with BPD. OP, you’re not alone man and it doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong in your parenting so don’t find ways to beat yourself up. This shite just happens sometime based on neurophysiology alone and isn’t always correlated with sexual abuse/neglect. Don’t forget to keep your own oxygen mask on bud
Posted on 5/23/24 at 7:05 am to Leotiger725
For the record I don’t believe anything OP said. Fantastic troll though.
Posted on 5/23/24 at 7:20 am to GeorgeTheGreek
Make her a ward of the state sorry. You have other obligations yourself the infant and your wife.
Posted on 5/23/24 at 7:24 am to Leotiger725
Boarding school. Friend of my family had a 13 year old that was stealing cars, burglarizing neighbors, etc. They sent her to boarding school and it’s like night and day.
Posted on 5/23/24 at 7:27 am to Leotiger725
no advice, but I have 2 girls and I worry about them so much as they keep getting older.
I hope she and yall are able to get the help that you need to navigate this.
I hope she and yall are able to get the help that you need to navigate this.
Posted on 5/23/24 at 8:29 am to Aight is Enough
quote:
Sorry for the bump
Posted on 5/23/24 at 8:35 am to Leotiger725
So very sorry for you. I was married to a BPD. I’m sorry to tell you, they never get better.
The reason they never get better is that they are incapable of thinking anything is wrong with them.
It’s a long road.
The reason they never get better is that they are incapable of thinking anything is wrong with them.
It’s a long road.
Posted on 5/23/24 at 9:59 am to Leotiger725
Our son is on anti-seizure meds which can sometimes cause periods of BPD.
Happened a few times in his teen years. He's 20 now and hasn't had a BPD episode in quite a few years..
I do know dealing with a BPD kid is almost impossible. They lose all sense of logic and reasoning and just emit uncontrolled anger.
I never hit my son, but in those times I damn well wanted to.. it was tough.
But I'd tell myself this isnt really him.. and it wasn't. When the episode would finally pass, he would get back to his normal sweet self.
Happened a few times in his teen years. He's 20 now and hasn't had a BPD episode in quite a few years..
I do know dealing with a BPD kid is almost impossible. They lose all sense of logic and reasoning and just emit uncontrolled anger.
I never hit my son, but in those times I damn well wanted to.. it was tough.
But I'd tell myself this isnt really him.. and it wasn't. When the episode would finally pass, he would get back to his normal sweet self.
This post was edited on 5/23/24 at 1:43 pm
Posted on 5/23/24 at 11:17 am to GeorgeTheGreek
quote:
For the record I don’t believe anything OP said. Fantastic troll though.
In his latest post on TD he denied the Holocaust occured. So troll is within the realm of possibility. Or something more nefarious.
Good info in here regardless.
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