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Started By
Message
re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD
Posted on 4/30/24 at 10:58 am to jeffsdad
Posted on 4/30/24 at 10:58 am to jeffsdad
I believe part of the problem is spiritual. I have seen and experienced spiritual darkness first hand many times after I was saved at age 27. There have been lots of strange occurrences in our home recently. I bought a childrens bible for her and she destroyed it. I asked her to repeat a prayer after me and she physically wouldn’t/couldn’t do it.
Something is going on beyond the mental aspect.
Something is going on beyond the mental aspect.
3
Posted on 4/30/24 at 11:17 am to Leotiger725
Get an exorcism done - call local archdioceses (but watch out for pedophiles)
Posted on 4/30/24 at 11:53 am to Leotiger725
bingo.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 12:15 pm to Leotiger725
One more thing I'd like to add to the OP -
Don't forget to take care of YOU. This is going to take a toll on you as well.
Don't forget to take care of YOU. This is going to take a toll on you as well.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 12:37 pm to Leotiger725
If it never improves, best case you won’t have to provide for her anymore if she goes viral and becomes rich and famous at least. Zoomers love that kind of content. Keshmeoussah girl is doing pretty well for herself I hear
Posted on 4/30/24 at 1:04 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
here have been lots of strange occurrences in our home recently. I bought a childrens bible for her and she destroyed it. I asked her to repeat a prayer after me and she physically wouldn’t/couldn’t do it.
Something is going on beyond the mental aspect.
Such as? Just be very careful going down this path of thinking. I wont dismiss it out right because I believe there is more to our reality than what we can comprehend with our five senses.
That being said there are charlatans and just plain idiots that have no idea how to deal with mental illness that can make the situation much much worse by suggesting spiritual "solutions" . Also if your child is aware of these thoughts she will absolutely use it as another means of manipulation. You have her in a treatment center now. Thats the best you can do at the moment.
This post was edited on 4/30/24 at 1:48 pm
Posted on 4/30/24 at 3:06 pm to Leotiger725
She needs extended professional assistance to get stabilized. Once stabilized, behavioral therapy, ongoing counseling and consistent prescription regimen will hopefully get you through high school. Prayers absolutely help; perhaps unseen in the patient but for the family and friends they are an important aspect of care.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 3:12 pm to GEAUXT
quote:All women have at least a little BPD.
Doesn't Paige have BPD?
Grey rocking is the only solution. They thrive on the arguments and escalation. Deprive them of that and there is little incentive for them.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 3:15 pm to LazloHollyfeld
quote:
(but watch out for pedophiles)
Not even close to funny. GFY
Posted on 4/30/24 at 3:33 pm to Scruffy
quote:Füt will take this opportunity to thank you for what you do everyday (or night or combo of the two) in that portion of the healthcare vineyard.
I wish you luck. I only see it from the ER side of things. I wish I had a better idea of how to help long term.
He knows that you get paid for it but he’s truly appreciative of folks like you who are in medicine for the right reasons and give of themselves to effect the relief of the suffering of others.
Thanks Doc!
Posted on 4/30/24 at 3:43 pm to lsunutinno
Hmmm, sounds like a large portion of a certain demographic.
quote:
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD or APD) is a personality disorder characterized by a limited capacity for empathy and a long-term pattern of disregard or violation of the rights of others.[3][4] Other notable symptoms include impulsivity and reckless behavior (including substance abuse), a lack of remorse after hurting others, deceitfulness, irresponsibility, and aggressive behavior.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 4:29 pm to Ronaldo Burgundiaz
quote:
Grey rocking is the only solution. They thrive on the arguments and escalation. Deprive them of that and there is little incentive for them.
Facts
Posted on 5/1/24 at 7:16 am to wheelz007
quote:
wheelz007
You just described my little brother. To a tee. I believe in prayer and I've told him that's the extent of my reaching out to him from now on.
We are adults, so it's different. I cannot imagine what the OP is going through with it being a 12 year old child.
I'll say this on my brother, my last 1/3 of life - I plan - will be completely about helping other people, but my own brother is not on that list anymore. The prayer of a righteous man availeth much, and hopefully I gain that status on my prayers, and my brother gets the help from God he needs, as I continue to pray for him.
He was this way his whole life, and then he had a stroke 5 years ago, and now pretends he's this way because of the stroke. Liar. Manipulative liar. I could write a book, but here's the straw that broke the camel's back: I called him about a tornado warning. He yelled at me for calling instead of texting, because blah blah blah, HE was somehow inconvenienced because I called. So I told him that was it. Praying for you. Bye.
Didn't effect him at all. I get the silent treatment again. Same as you said with your ex wife.
I appreciated your post.
As a Christian, (ETA, I'm a sorry excuse for a Christian, I easily admit it) I do have some non mainstream thoughts on salvation that I think are relevant here. If someone doesn't like that being entered into the conversation, then stop reading right now.
I'm not very educated on how/who interpreted the Bible. I should be, but I'm not. Being a preacher's kid, I'm more skeptical, not less. Were mistakes made? I'm not going to sit here and say no to that.
So I believe there are certainly categories where salvation will happen for people with mental illnesses, Downs Syndrome, or simply just not having any normal level of intelligence at all. Theological arguments can get pretty intense and in-depth. Sorry, Forrest Gump is not going to hell for not being smart enough to choose Protestant conservative or liberal, Catholic, Buddhist, etc. Neither are the Special Olympics kids
To a lesser extent, neither are people who are mentally ill. I believe it's incumbent on them to chose Christianity, but with the mental illness they deal with, will God hold them accountable for misinterpretation of scripture? Sane people can't agree on scripture. How are insane people supposed to do it?
My brother was not abused or abandoned. Instead he was born with a torturous skin ailment and breathing problems from allergies that has made his life a living hell. Anger from it. Sort of normal life, he still played high school football and ran track, etc., late late late college graduate, but the ball and chain of his health issues has been with him since the cradle.
Does that make my brother less hateful? No
This post was edited on 5/1/24 at 7:37 am
Posted on 5/1/24 at 7:23 am to wheelz007
quote:
My ex used to get in my face screaming (and you can see the devil in her face) ANGRY, cusssing - "I F'N HATE YOU... if I was a man I would stomp your a$$"....
"I don't need you!"
Yep. And I had 2 boys with this woman.
They cannot be trusted. With anything. You cannot trust her with your credit or debit card, her cell phone... you cannot trust their word, or anything about them.
Even now, 10-11 years later, she lives 3.5 hours away and I don't trust her, negotiate with her, and I keep conversations short and sweet.
spot on
Posted on 5/2/24 at 4:01 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Even though I know they may believe some of the BS they spew, I still struggle to find it acceptable, in any way.
I can be told medically their wires are crossed up. Or that they have a chemical imbalance.
I can be told that spiritually they are hurting.... or that they have real legit mental health problems. Ok I get it. I can understand that.
I cannot explain how they get on their absolute best behavior, and then in less than 30 days they turn on you. And don't mind doing it....
On a Tuesday. Over something petty. Being hateful or never speaking to you again.... and then actling like they've forgotten all the mean $hit they said or did to you.
Another thing Borderline's do - triangulate.
Be carefull with this. Let me explain -
The wife comes home from work Day after day complaining about Melissa, the co-worker. Melissa is the meanest co-worker ever. You should hear the things Melissa says and does to your wife while they are at work.
Over time, you start to really dislike Melissa, and you've never met her.
But guess what? She goes to work and tells Melissa how terrible of a human being YOU are. How horrible of a husband you are. And guess what? Without seeing any of this herself or meeting you, Melissa starts to dislike you.
See where I'm going with this? If you ever meet Melissa at the company Christmas party, there might be some fireworks. Two grown arse adults fighting over her.
OR - if your wife starts flirting with another man or talking about meeting another man in front of her co-workers, they won't feel like telling you at all.
This is one of the many, many games Borderline's play.
I can be told medically their wires are crossed up. Or that they have a chemical imbalance.
I can be told that spiritually they are hurting.... or that they have real legit mental health problems. Ok I get it. I can understand that.
I cannot explain how they get on their absolute best behavior, and then in less than 30 days they turn on you. And don't mind doing it....
On a Tuesday. Over something petty. Being hateful or never speaking to you again.... and then actling like they've forgotten all the mean $hit they said or did to you.
Another thing Borderline's do - triangulate.
Be carefull with this. Let me explain -
The wife comes home from work Day after day complaining about Melissa, the co-worker. Melissa is the meanest co-worker ever. You should hear the things Melissa says and does to your wife while they are at work.
Over time, you start to really dislike Melissa, and you've never met her.
But guess what? She goes to work and tells Melissa how terrible of a human being YOU are. How horrible of a husband you are. And guess what? Without seeing any of this herself or meeting you, Melissa starts to dislike you.
See where I'm going with this? If you ever meet Melissa at the company Christmas party, there might be some fireworks. Two grown arse adults fighting over her.
OR - if your wife starts flirting with another man or talking about meeting another man in front of her co-workers, they won't feel like telling you at all.
This is one of the many, many games Borderline's play.
Posted on 5/2/24 at 4:23 pm to wheelz007
quote:
This is one of the many, many games Borderline's play
Was married to one for 20 years. Your post is hauntingly accurate to shite that happened to me
Posted on 5/2/24 at 4:32 pm to jorconalx
I could write a book my man.
It's Brutal.
It's Brutal.
Posted on 5/2/24 at 4:33 pm to kingbob
quote:
What you need to do is get professional help. The root of bpd is a problem with emotional regulation. This is a brain problem, not a will power or personality issue. Her hormones and emotions are swinging wildly and she can’t control it any more than you can control the weather. She needs a professional to do a few important things:
1. Prescribe medication that can help keep the swings less severe. These can help to keep her from swinging from manic crazy to depressed suicidal 5 times a day.
2. Learn the fears and traumas underlying these emotions. While the emotions are irrational, they are often fed by real fears from actual childhood experiences. Exploring them and understanding them can take the power away from them and help heal wounds she didn’t even know were there. Imagine experiencing horrific pain that makes it difficult to walk, everyone telling you what a failure you are for not being able to run as fast as everyone else, only to finally go to a doctor and find out you have a tumor growing on your hip. Until she finds the root of the fear, those emotional swings will control her rather than the other way around.
3. Suicidal threats are often a manipulation technique or a cry for attention, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be taken deadly seriously. Through therapy, she can learn better ways to seek the attention and care she wants or achieve the desired outcome.
4. Being a tween is hard AF. It’s the most difficult age. It’s totally fine to be a weird kid when you’re little. As long as you’re somewhat positive, other kids will still be friends with you and play with you. When you hit 12, being weird becomes a HUGE problem. Kids start playing the popularity game and anyone the least bit outside the mainstream will be bullied unless they conform. For weird kids, especially introverted or mildly autistic ones, they will struggle because they’re not weird because they choose to. They don’t understand human behavior. They don’t know how to conform and no one is going to teach them. This can build up intense emotions of anger, self-loathing, resentment, rejection, and loneliness. A 12 year old brain often isn’t developed enough to really process all of this effectively. A professional can help them process these feelings, learn how to adapt socially without sacrificing their individuality, and channel those negative emotions into something positive.
My prayers go out to you. I was a really troubled kid at 13. I wish I had parents who took it more seriously. Maybe if I was as in-your-face about it as your daughter is, I would have gotten help for it at 13 instead of 28.
She needs to know you love her, that you’re worried about her, and that you just want to protect her, not change her.
I take it back, this is the best advice in this thread. Extremely constructive, empathetic, and actionable advice.
Posted on 5/2/24 at 5:04 pm to Odysseus32
quote:
I take it back, this is the best advice in this thread. Extremely constructive, empathetic, and actionable advice.
Maybe for Bipolar but not Borderline.
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