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Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:23 am to H2O Tiger
quote:
Now take that $600 and go finance you a SxS baw, it's the OT way
wouldn't that be better spent towards an iPhone upgrade?
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:27 am to wasteland
quote:The issue at hand is you're not really helping them.
Maybe I’m too generous and maybe it’s because I’m not in the same situation but if the loan doesn’t hurt my family or investment plans, I’m definitely helping a friend in need
Given that scenario, there's a 99.9999999% chance that friend will be broke and asking for more money soon. So it's not helping, it's just kicking the can down the road. And at some point, you will have to say no, and he will stop being your friend. That is a darn near certainty given the specific scenario the OP laid out. So you can lose a friend after giving them 1000s of dollars or you can lose a friend without giving them anything. Not really that difficult a choice once you piece it together IMO.
And again, we have to remember, the friend didn't concede that he does need to make lifestyle changes. In fact, he did the exact opposite, he got angry at OP at the mere suggestion. He's not changing...at all.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:28 am to Cosmo
Perfect response. Hold the line. You would have lost him if you gave him money. You would never see it back, and it would change everything about your current relationship equilibrium.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:30 am to TygerTyger
It’s just money.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:33 am to Cosmo
Happened to me recently.
Good drinking buddy laid off and divorced about the same time. O and G job made 170-180.
Got 3 months full pay severance and sat on a bar stool everyday for the whole 3 months. Then sat there another 6 months burning through his savings. No attempt to go to work.
Asked for 10k I said no, cant (wont) do it because you arent even trying. He kept drinking and had to spend a week in the hospital, BP, liver all that.
He claims to be offshore now but I know a friend gave in 10 recently.
Good drinking buddy laid off and divorced about the same time. O and G job made 170-180.
Got 3 months full pay severance and sat on a bar stool everyday for the whole 3 months. Then sat there another 6 months burning through his savings. No attempt to go to work.
Asked for 10k I said no, cant (wont) do it because you arent even trying. He kept drinking and had to spend a week in the hospital, BP, liver all that.
He claims to be offshore now but I know a friend gave in 10 recently.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:33 am to Cosmo
If it was like a hundred to help him keep his lights on, I would do it, no problem. If it was more than that, you're helping him more with the tough love than the money. I do alot of things for extra money right now that I wouldn't have had to do even a year ago. If that doesn't work, we're gonna have to cut something we need out of the budget.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:34 am to 777Tiger
quote:
wouldn't that be better spent towards an iPhone upgrade?
Not when you can finance it for 24 months, they just add it to your bill
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:37 am to wasteland
quote:Why do people keep saying this? OP wouldn't be the one choosing to end the friendship, so this does not apply to OP.
Give him the money. Is it worth a friendship?
I imagine OP would be more than happy simply saying no and continuing to be friends.
This idea that a friend can hold your friendship hostage over money and you have to pay a ransom to keep being friends and if you don't it's your fault you lose a "friendship" is wild.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:40 am to O
A long time friend had run up several thousand in credit card bills and didn't want to take that debt into marriage. I had the money but we agreed it would be difficult for her to pay me each and every month. It would just be too personal.
So, I gave her the money to pay off the credit cards and she did, and we opened a checking account at a bank local to her. She paid into that account every month until the debt was paid.
Friendship remains.
So, I gave her the money to pay off the credit cards and she did, and we opened a checking account at a bank local to her. She paid into that account every month until the debt was paid.
Friendship remains.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:43 am to Cosmo
My household makes twice that and I don't see how they can afford that stuff. I drive a 10 year old accord, wife in an old Acura, no boat, no side by side. I spend a lot on the kids extra curriculars. I feel like money is tight with this. I don't see how people make it these days. We need to start drilling oil ASAP!
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:45 am to White Raj
quote:
I feel like money is tight with this.
cut back on the tik-tok, OF accounts and you'll see a big difference baw
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:46 am to White Raj
We're 4x that and don't have any kids. I've got a truck, car and boat but that's it. Can't imagine them paying for all this stuff but the loan terms have gotten outrageous. I bought a used boat and the bank told me I could finance it for 20 years if I wanted to 
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:53 am to fallguy_1978
quote:I have twin boys. They're only 11 now, if they want a car when they're old enough to drive, they will have to get a job to pay for the car and the insurance.
We just started paying teenager car insurance last month. Good times
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:56 am to Cosmo
Should have loaned money as long as you got to bang his wife.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:57 am to shel311
quote:
I have twin boys. They're only 11 now, if they want a car when they're old enough to drive, they will have to get a job to pay for the car and the insurance.
My youngest daughter is doing dual enrollment in HS where she also completes an associates degree. She really doesn't have time to work during the school year. I'm fine with that. That'll save me a hell of a lot more than paying for her insurance.
She's got a summer job lined up for a few months.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:59 am to Cosmo
I have no idea how he has done all of this
on this
For even a short period of time.
quote:
He drives a new f150. She drives a 2 year old Yukon XL. Big into their kids sports and spend a ton of money doing that half their weekends. Kids in private school. 2 or 3 vacations a year. Has 2 boats and a side by side. Eat out all the time.
on this
quote:
80-90k
For even a short period of time.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 12:00 pm to LSUDAN1
I've loaned money to a friend before too. Bad idea. Dude makes plenty offshore but blows it the minute he comes back and then when he doesn't get a hitch he's broke.
somehow always has the money to be at the bars though. We're not close anymore...
somehow always has the money to be at the bars though. We're not close anymore...
Posted on 5/26/23 at 12:00 pm to White Raj
quote:They're obviously living beyond their means, but I never took that portion of the OP to say they're making exactly that much, $80-90k.
My household makes twice that and I don't see how they can afford that stuff
It's more of a reference to a specific type of person who lives way beyond their means, not necessarily that that was their exact salary, at least that's how I took it.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 12:01 pm to shel311
Sounds like a good hardass way of doing it. But by the time they're 15, I guarantee you that you'll end up buying them a car and insurance and probably having to force them to get their license. Toting teenage kids around gets old quick.
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