An ode to rum

Premium bourbon whiskey has become a dumb, stuffy, no-fun market. The ultra premium stuff can only be had on the secondary market for the equivalent of a mortgage payment. Even normal good bottles that you would see on the shelf every now and then a few years ago (E.H. Taylor, Eagle Rare, etc.) are now allocated bottles that you have to be on a list to get. I am forced to drink like a regular lawyer with bourbon, not an investment banker. It's store picks instead of the annual Four Roses Limited Edition Small Batch or Michter's 10 year these days.

Enter rum.

In the world of rum, I drink like a goddamn South American banana republic dictator. Appleton 21 year, Foursquare select casks, Hampden Great House, Flor de Cana 25 year. When I want the best of the best, I can get it for $200-$300. Now on to the non-pecuniary benefits of this fine sugarcane spirit.

Availability. In addition to being reasonably priced, the super premium rums are actually out there for the taking. I have never had to go to the secondary market. Yes, some are coveted and hard to find, but I will eventually find them on a shelf (or display case) at the more well-stocked liquor stores.

Versatility. How is rum so versatile? No one finishes mowing the lawn in July and says "wow, you know what would really cure this swamp arse? A big glass of brown bourbon." That's where rum comes in and says "despite being an aged brown spirit, I am also a drink for the summertime heat and humidity." Genius. But rum is equally at home at night in the study with a fine cigar, perhaps even more tobacco-appropriate than bourbon, a definitionally American spirit and not a Caribbean émigré.

Cocktails. Rum is the foundational spirit for the most advanced form of drinkcraft there is: Tiki. No other spirit has such a panoply of complex artisanal uses with such a wide-ranging possibility of ingredients. Tiki mixology is a discipline unto itself and stands apart from and above normal bar literacy.

Now for the drawbacks: nothing. There are problems within the rum industry, but this is an ode to rum, not a fair-minded critique.

Here's to you, rum!



Eta: one day the bourbon craze will end. The millions of barrels that have been filled to meet rising demand will sit longer and longer in those rick houses as the market changes. Eventually shelves will be flooded with fine 10+ year bourbon again. But until that day, rum stands ready to serve as the balm of the masses.