The Climate Faithful Have Developed Religious Dietary Restrictions

The Climate Faithful Have Developed Religious Dietary Restrictions (and You Guessed It — We'll All Be Expected to Eat This Way)


Jews eat kosher, Muslims have halal, Hindus eschew meat, and many Christians fast during Lent. So naturally, the fastest-growing religion today — earth and climate worship — is developing its own faith-based dietary restrictions.


“Climatarians” (also called “reducitarians” or “climavores”) are people who make their food choices based on how what they eat will impact the earth, with the aim of reducing their carbon “foodprint.” The Earthist version of original sin is that, simply by living, people commit climate sin every time they eat, breathe, travel, and heat or cool their homes. Naturally, the younger generations are the most pious Earthists, having been recently exposed to the most evangelical Earthist education system yet.

“Climavores, as you might expect, follow a diet less defined by ingredients—unlike veganism, for example,” global consulting firm Kearney informs us. “Instead, Climavores actively make food choices based on climate impacts, practicing climate-conscious eating based on a series of dietary trade-offs intended to benefit the planet.”

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They are the secular descendants of New England Puritans, except that now they are on steroids. They will install a Radical Leftist Totalitarian Regime here in America, and they will enforce it in the name of their god.

Are they going to grow their own garden?

They can't shop at at the local groceries because all the food was brought in via gas guzzling trucks, farmed with gas guzzling machinery and all of this machinery was built from petroleum products and energy.

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Yet they will drive around in electric cars and used cell phones fueled by slaves involved in strip mining.

Climunists.

(Clime -you- nists).