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Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:40 pm to lsutothetop
quote:
but that's NOT what he's been doing in the thread. he briefly brought up Rhodes which costs more but didn't go into any detail about how Rhodes would help him ward off the liberal bias he's so worried about
It's a factor that he's considering. Is there anyone who made the assumption that he was pondering a choice between Princeton and no unversity at all for his daughter? Or choosing between Princeton and Delgado?
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:41 pm to Mickey Goldmill
quote:
Again, nobody has said otherwise.
that response was to someone who said otherwise...
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:41 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:
"No, daughter, I will not tell you my thoughts on the matter. You simply have to make these life-changing decisions based on your own limited understanding of the world."
No, but I would tell them that ultimately it was their decision to make. I will help them make the decision and support whatever their decision is, but I can't make it for them.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:42 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:
It's a factor that he's considering. Is there anyone who made the assumption that he was pondering a choice between Princeton and no unversity at all for his daughter? Or choosing between Princeton and Delgado?
And that 1 factor is what people have issue with. It really shouldn't be an issue.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:47 pm to anc
Few points from a parent whose child is at one of the top schools mentioned.
If your daughter tests well, your mailbox will be filled with letters and expensive, glossy direct mail from colleges. Some will be the big names, others you will have never heard of. These are great to learn about the schools but they mean nothing about the chance of getting in. The schools want as many applicants as possible to get their admit rate as low as possible. Don't think the letter, however personal, is a indicator of their interest. The top Ivies and Stanford admit rates are 6-7%. Unless you have cured cancer or brokered Mid East peace, getting in is a crap shoot.
Another issue brought up was grades. Son was valedictorian, great test scores, AP scholar, etc.. But not doing as well as friends at LSU. The competition at top schools is intense. Everyone there was at the top of their high school class and for the most part are from the best high schools in the country. It was a wake up call for him. He always made A's with minimal effort. Not anymore.
But the upside is definitely the contacts made. Fraternity bro's dad runs a hedge fund. Guy down the hall's dad is a leader in Congress. Spent Thanksgiving with the family of a Presidential candidate's grandson. Dated girl whose dad is CEO of well known company.
And he is having a blast being there. It's hard work and it took him a semester to figure it out. But he will never regret it and I am happy to help him do it.
If your daughter tests well, your mailbox will be filled with letters and expensive, glossy direct mail from colleges. Some will be the big names, others you will have never heard of. These are great to learn about the schools but they mean nothing about the chance of getting in. The schools want as many applicants as possible to get their admit rate as low as possible. Don't think the letter, however personal, is a indicator of their interest. The top Ivies and Stanford admit rates are 6-7%. Unless you have cured cancer or brokered Mid East peace, getting in is a crap shoot.
Another issue brought up was grades. Son was valedictorian, great test scores, AP scholar, etc.. But not doing as well as friends at LSU. The competition at top schools is intense. Everyone there was at the top of their high school class and for the most part are from the best high schools in the country. It was a wake up call for him. He always made A's with minimal effort. Not anymore.
But the upside is definitely the contacts made. Fraternity bro's dad runs a hedge fund. Guy down the hall's dad is a leader in Congress. Spent Thanksgiving with the family of a Presidential candidate's grandson. Dated girl whose dad is CEO of well known company.
And he is having a blast being there. It's hard work and it took him a semester to figure it out. But he will never regret it and I am happy to help him do it.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:47 pm to NoHoTiger
This thread has certainly been an education to me, which is what I desired.
I claim ignorance on such matters. Contrary to some of your beliefs, I have not once said that it was a flat out "hell naw she aint going to Princeton." I am extremely proud of her accomplishments and will support her wherever she wants to go.
We have been looking at Rhodes, Berry, Vandy and other "Kudzu League" schools. This is just a new choice we have. If it works out for Princeton, and she wants to go to Princeton, she will go to Princeton. This has also motivated her to look at Stanford, Penn and Duke just today.
But saying "I don't deserve a daughter like this" is pretty harsh. That's the kind of snobby attitude I am weary of.
I claim ignorance on such matters. Contrary to some of your beliefs, I have not once said that it was a flat out "hell naw she aint going to Princeton." I am extremely proud of her accomplishments and will support her wherever she wants to go.
We have been looking at Rhodes, Berry, Vandy and other "Kudzu League" schools. This is just a new choice we have. If it works out for Princeton, and she wants to go to Princeton, she will go to Princeton. This has also motivated her to look at Stanford, Penn and Duke just today.
But saying "I don't deserve a daughter like this" is pretty harsh. That's the kind of snobby attitude I am weary of.
This post was edited on 4/21/14 at 7:54 pm
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:48 pm to anc
quote:Political characteristics and "brainwashing" should not enter into the equation at all, anc. Your daughter will be exposed to BS anywhere she goes. Be much more cognizant of Princeton's unique approach and emphases. It may or may not be a good fit for your daughter. She should take a look early on and see. Yale would be my generic #1 as a premed program. As someone else suggested, Duke might fill the bill as well.
I don't have a ton of experience in the matter. I was denied admission to Vandy in high school and ended up at Mississippi State and my wife was an average student at Ole Miss. We both were first in our families to go to college, so we were lucky to go.
We've always placed the value of education as high on our only child, and she has excelled. I want to give her the opportunities we never had. I just don't want her to become a progressive militant lesbian brainwashed by the liberal elites of the Northeast.
Had not even been talked about until last week. They basically have families pay 10% of AGI if you can get in, so its a really good deal.
This post was edited on 4/21/14 at 7:50 pm
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:57 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
yeah going to princeton is going to mean dick if he can't afford those elite medical schools this opens her up for
I mean, isn't having more options always better, though? She doesn't have to go to an expensive elite med school, and who knows, maybe she will be able to get a schollie to a "lower tier" one.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:58 pm to ForeLSU
quote:
I always reserve the right to intervene should I see my kids going down I path I think is wrong. Of course we have a good relationship and I tell them that this is my opinion, but it is ultimately their decision. I also tell them that there are boundaries to what we'll pay for, but that we'll support them no matter what path they choose. I'm a parent, my job is not to be an unconditional friend.
There is a difference between intervention and expressing an opinion. You have every right in the world to tell your kid his choices suck. But at 18 if you start meddling with his choices, expect to be told to frick the hell off.
The lack of trust in your parenting skills is appalling. If you did your job before he was an adult then let him be a fricking adult. Push a kid to do something that he does not want to do because you think its best for him never ends well.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:58 pm to anc
I would recommend pursuing a learning environment that works for her. Perhaps going to a smaller, less prestigious school will allow her to be a "big fish in a little pond".
This interesting phenomenon is addressed/supported in Gladwell's "David and Goliath". High achievers at smaller schools performed equally with their peers at Ivy League schools (with the exception of the truly elite at the Ivy League schools who are on another level). Gladwell notes that it can be detrimental to the psyche to be rendered a little fish in a big pond...
There will be more import placed on the prestige of her residency training. Few will ask or care where she attended undergrad.
This interesting phenomenon is addressed/supported in Gladwell's "David and Goliath". High achievers at smaller schools performed equally with their peers at Ivy League schools (with the exception of the truly elite at the Ivy League schools who are on another level). Gladwell notes that it can be detrimental to the psyche to be rendered a little fish in a big pond...
There will be more import placed on the prestige of her residency training. Few will ask or care where she attended undergrad.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 7:59 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:
So, asurob, did your daughter ask for your input before she made this decision? If she had, then I must assume based on your ridiculous posturing, that you would have told her, "No, daughter, I will not tell you my thoughts on the matter. You simply have to make these life-changing decisions based on your own limited understanding of the world."
Crazy that I trusted her decisions. But then again, I'm a decent enough parent.
Something too few are.
(And she did ask for my input, I gave it, then she made her own choices, unlike the OP who wants to influence his precious child no matter what she wants.)
Posted on 4/21/14 at 8:01 pm to anc
quote:
I have not once said that it was a flat out "hell naw she aint going to Princeton." I am extremely proud of her accomplishments and will support her wherever she wants to go.
Reread your OP. You clearly stated why you did not want her going to an "Ivy" league school.
Pretty appalling.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 8:03 pm to onmymedicalgrind
quote:
I mean, isn't having more options always better, though? She doesn't have to go to an expensive elite med school, and who knows, maybe she will be able to get a schollie to a "lower tier" one.
or hell, what if she changes majors?
Posted on 4/21/14 at 8:04 pm to NC_Tigah
quote:
Yale would be my generic #1 as a premed program.
You know, Yale has always struck me as more of a pre-law type undergrad, but admittedly I am not that informed on the issue. I am partial to this lil' ol' school in the midwest, and I think Stanford and Duke are clearly the two best non-Ivys.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 8:07 pm to lsutothetop
quote:
or hell, what if she changes majors?
Excellent point. At my undergrad, literally half the school was pre-med freshman year. But freshman gen chem was stupid hard and was the "weeding out" class. Man I never thought so many people could switch over to psychology or the business school with such pace
Posted on 4/21/14 at 8:07 pm to Jimbeaux
If a kid truly wants to go to Princeton and has the opportunity to do so, but then is denied that opportunity because their parent thinks it's too liberal, that kid is justified in holding that resentment against their parent forever. The parent is being fricking selfish, not to mention, pathologically paranoid.
ETA: I'm sorry but I have to say that this is the worst of this board. It's why I can occasionally be an a-hole. I can't believe this is a serious discussion. Honestly.
ETA: I'm sorry but I have to say that this is the worst of this board. It's why I can occasionally be an a-hole. I can't believe this is a serious discussion. Honestly.
This post was edited on 4/21/14 at 8:09 pm
Posted on 4/21/14 at 8:11 pm to asurob1
Let my sorry arse Mississippi State edukashun take a look at some reading comprehension.
Part of me wants to squash it now.
-I'd be lying otherwise. But if only part of me wants to squash it that means I am obviously considering it.
But just to humor myself, I filled out a Net Price Calculator. They have crazy scholarship packages.
Would cost me about $7000/year.
I had concerns about the financial aspect of it. I looked into it and realized it is possible.
Talk me out of pursuing it.
I guess this is your sticking point, but I was really looking for exactly what I got. Different viewpoints on the matter. If I wasn't going to consider it, I certainly wouldn't have posted. I feel like the PoliBoard represents a higher than average intelligence, and that the opinion of the group at large is probably good advice.
Rhodes is her top choice and it is going to cost about $11k a year after scholarships.
Fact. Prior to last week, Rhodes was the top choice. It still may be. There are more choices out there as well. She loves Rhodes' campus, has a friend in a sorority there, etc.
Part of me wants to squash it now.
-I'd be lying otherwise. But if only part of me wants to squash it that means I am obviously considering it.
But just to humor myself, I filled out a Net Price Calculator. They have crazy scholarship packages.
Would cost me about $7000/year.
I had concerns about the financial aspect of it. I looked into it and realized it is possible.
Talk me out of pursuing it.
I guess this is your sticking point, but I was really looking for exactly what I got. Different viewpoints on the matter. If I wasn't going to consider it, I certainly wouldn't have posted. I feel like the PoliBoard represents a higher than average intelligence, and that the opinion of the group at large is probably good advice.
Rhodes is her top choice and it is going to cost about $11k a year after scholarships.
Fact. Prior to last week, Rhodes was the top choice. It still may be. There are more choices out there as well. She loves Rhodes' campus, has a friend in a sorority there, etc.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 8:11 pm to VOR
quote:
If a kid truly wants to go to Princeton and has the opportunity to do so, but then is denied that opportunity because their parent thinks it's too liberal, that kid is justified in holding that resentment against their parent forever. The parent is being fricking selfish, not to mention, pathologically paranoid.
I don't think that is happening here.
I think it's more of a case of anc's daughter wants to feel comfortable about here decision to go (or not go) to Princeton.
Posted on 4/21/14 at 8:15 pm to GumboPot
quote:
If a kid truly wants to go to Princeton and has the opportunity to do so, but then is denied that opportunity because their parent thinks it's too liberal, that kid is justified in holding that resentment against their parent forever. The parent is being fricking selfish, not to mention, pathologically paranoid.
For the last time, I am not "denying her the opportunity because its too liberal" but it is a concern of mine. If she wants to go, is fully admitted and the finances work out, then I'll be a Princeton dad.
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