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Message
Neanderthals Having Fun Night Out While Civilized People Hide In Caves
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:19 am
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:19 am
LINK
Only hours after Governor Greg Abbott's decision to lift the Texas mask mandate, thousands of Neanderthals descended on downtown Dallas for a fun night of eating, drinking, and dancing. Meanwhile, thousands of civilized, progressive Texans hid in dark caves to protect themselves from coronavirus.
"Oog like steak! Oog like beer! Oog like loud music at concert!" said Oog, a Neanderthal. "Oog dance and sing with best friends! Oog happy!"
"This is so reckless and irresponsible," said local progressive Florian Von Cinnamon from beneath his 7 masks as he huddled in a damp cave. "Neanderthal thinking will literally kill us all. I'm literally shaking right now-- because I'm cold. How do you make fire again?"
Experts warn that if things continue, the state may be overrun by happy Neanderthals as all the civilized people move back to California.
Only hours after Governor Greg Abbott's decision to lift the Texas mask mandate, thousands of Neanderthals descended on downtown Dallas for a fun night of eating, drinking, and dancing. Meanwhile, thousands of civilized, progressive Texans hid in dark caves to protect themselves from coronavirus.
"Oog like steak! Oog like beer! Oog like loud music at concert!" said Oog, a Neanderthal. "Oog dance and sing with best friends! Oog happy!"
"This is so reckless and irresponsible," said local progressive Florian Von Cinnamon from beneath his 7 masks as he huddled in a damp cave. "Neanderthal thinking will literally kill us all. I'm literally shaking right now-- because I'm cold. How do you make fire again?"
Experts warn that if things continue, the state may be overrun by happy Neanderthals as all the civilized people move back to California.
10
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:21 am to Crimson Wraith
quote:
Florian Von Cinnamon from beneath his 7 masks as he huddled in a damp cave.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:27 am to Crimson Wraith
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:53 am to Crimson Wraith
quote:
Florian Von Cinnamon
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:55 am to Crimson Wraith
I want to party with Oog.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 8:09 am to Crimson Wraith
This is dangerously close to passing as a real headline.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 9:05 am to Crimson Wraith
But but a mask helps... helps about as much as holding a stick in front of you when someone throws a bucket of water on you.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 9:09 am to Crimson Wraith
Goddamn I LOVE the Bee.i need to meet these writers
Posted on 3/6/21 at 9:21 am to Crimson Wraith
quote:While Pussified People Hide in Caves
While Civilized People Hide In Caves
Posted on 3/6/21 at 9:27 am to Epaminondas
I am not going to wear a mask all day today
Posted on 3/6/21 at 9:31 am to Crimson Wraith
Some bars should put on some Neanderthal Parties...lol.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 9:55 am to loopback
quote:
i need to meet these writers
Their paid subscribers write the articles.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 10:01 am to Crimson Wraith
Posted on 3/6/21 at 11:32 am to jimmy the leg
Well edit to above, girlfriend just tested positive so I’m wearing a mask for a couple of days until sure either I don’t have it or get sick
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