re: Increased Childlessness in the US

Idiocracy was a prophecy

Breeding aged men in their 20s need to put down the video game controllers, take a shower and hit the bars...and actually attempt to talk to women, first. Also for those that do go out, stop being hammerheads

Breeding aged women need to put down the cell phones and start flirting with men, because men are idiots and most need a little encouragement .

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Many - having experienced little love in their early formative years - view children as a burden on their personal freedom and ability to enjoy life.

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I don't know if it's so much about that as it is that western society has shifted from emphasizing obligations to emphasizing and hyper-celebrating selfishness and independence.

We live in a post-obligation society.

And no single philosophy has done more to foster that—at least with specific regard to the destruction of the nuclear family—than feminism.

It might have a little to do with feminism, but don't give males a break. You have to be somewhat aggressive when pursuing women. You have to give them a reason to start talking to you before you can coax them into dating, much less having sex.

If you are staying at home playing video games and smoking weed most nights and not attempting a pursuit, women are not going to just show up at your door. Go out get drunk, pursue women, get shot down, go home by yourself. Then....get up a few days later, take a shower, get dressed, go out and try it again.....and again. That's how it starts, that's how you do it.

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Women don't want to have kids with men who don't pull their weight at home. Women who are raising their husbands don't have time to raise actual children, too.

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This is a pretty broad brush, no?

"Men don't want to marry instagram-obsessed substanceless women who care more about likes than raising confident, wholesome children"

See how that works?

In all seriousness I'm down for this conversation. I see your commentary a lot online. A conservative urbanite writer I follow said something along the lines of "Shout out to my husband for taking baby duty this AM when I wasn't feeling well" and she prompted like 100 comments from women (mostly unmarried and without kids) saying "YOU SHOULDNT HAVE TO THANK YOUR HUSBAND IT'S HIS JOB!"

To which she replied, I'm thanking him because I like him and it's nice to thank people who do things.

Anyway, my point is that there is a lot of this "Men suck they don't do their job!" online, and a lot of it comes from women who don't seem to be able to flourish in their relationships and who don't have kids, oddly.

So do you think what you're talking about "they don't want to raise their husbands and their kids" is a common sentiment offline and do you think it's a particularly reasonable/sensible basis for not wanting kids? Because it seems weird to me.

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It's super tied to the average level of education of females.

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It’s also tied to the 80/20 rule, which is probably 90/10 in the U.S. all these women are after the trifecta of 100k a year, 6 ft tall, and not currently in a relationship. Guess what? If you’re 6’ tall and making six figures you’re already in various relationships.


God help me if I were single. I’d be beating my wiener even though I make 200k a year. I’m built like a stump. I am the moped of the dating pool. Yeah I can take you somewhere fun but your friends can’t know about it.

The percentage of women that are wife material has steadily decreased among white women born and raised in the west. We need to import more women from Columbia and Ukraine.

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So do you think what you're talking about "they don't want to raise their husbands and their kids" is a common sentiment offline and do you think it's a particularly reasonable/sensible basis for not wanting kids? Because it seems weird to me.

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I can't say with certainty that this is the reason women don't want kids but I DO know with certainty that many, many typical/average women struggle with doing all of the things all of the time.

The economic shift to families requiring two incomes to sustain themselves somewhat comfortably is probably the biggest factor to blame here. When women didn't have to work outside of the home, they had the bandwidth to take care of everything. Now women are expected to work at least 40 hours a week outside the home but are STILL expected to do all the other thing they were responsible for before most women had to work outside the home.

I have 2 kid in elementary school and an infant who still wakes up every 3 hours at night to feed. I'm in grad school and didn't get home from class until 9:00 pm last night. I did some chores when I go home then went to bed, waking up twice in the middle of the night to feed the baby. I was out of bed at 6:00 am feeding the baby again, then I collected dirty clothes and started the washing machine. My 8 year old woke up and I helped him get dressed. My husband got up at gave the baby a bath, while I got the baby's daycare bad ready and washed bottles. Then my daughter woke up and I helped her get dressed, got myself dressed, did her hair and then brought the older kids to school. Now I'm at work where I fortunately have downtime periodically. I'll get off and go home and immediately start dinner, put clothes in the dryer, then fold them, etc. etc. It's just never ending. There's always so much to do.

I am in a happy marriage but the societal expectations of women are fricking insane. I wish I had a wife.