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Message
Democrats Declare Unity Mandatory
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:40 pm
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:40 pm
quote:
U.S.—With the country deeply divided, the incoming Democrat administration is promising to bring the country together by making unity mandatory for all Americans.
"Why didn't somebody think of this earlier?" said soon-to-be President Kamala Harris. "All this time we've been trying to coax people into unity and where has that gotten us? Let's make it mandatory! Then we'll be completely unified! I really don't see any way this could backfire in any way."
The Democrats in Congress applauded this innovative new idea for mandatory unity. They are currently drafting legislation that will require absolute, unquestioning unity from all Americans. Anyone who refuses to be unified-- probably because they're bigots-- will be de-platformed, canceled, fired from work, and publically shamed by being placed in the stocks at the town square where democrats will throw rotten cabbages at them. If they still refuse unity, they will be sent to a special "Unity School" where they will break large rocks into little rocks until they learn the importance of undying unity with the Democrats.
"It ain't complicated, folks," said Joe Biden. "I'm all about unity. We need unity. And if you don't unify with us because you're an irredeemable racist pony soldier, we're gonna make ya. I promise to be the president for all Americans who agree to unify with me and my agenda!"
The 1st and 2nd Amendments of the Constitution currently stand in the way of mandatory unity, but Biden says he has a plan for that. By packing the courts with a bunch of justices who really care about unity, they will be able to get past those roadblocks to unity and usher in a unified age of mandatory unity for all Americans-- at least for the ones who agree to unify with them.
Babylon Bee: Tomorrow's Headlines Today
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:42 pm to L.A.
Trump supporters don't want unity for whatever reason. But I'm all for unity and bringing our country back to having compassion, love and unity. One of the greatest presidents biden will lead us back.
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:43 pm to L.A.
The beatings will continue until morale improves
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:45 pm to BossBailey345
Nothing like a bought stooge of that noted compassionate loving dictatorship - China - to bring the country together! (By the end of a gun barrel, no doubt)
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:47 pm to BossBailey345
quote:
BossBailey345
Where is the approved reading list?
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:48 pm to BossBailey345
quote:
Trump supporters don't want unity for whatever reason. But I'm all for unity and bringing our country back to having compassion, love and unity.
Awful salesmanship on display.
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:49 pm to BossBailey345
That hook is way too shiny.
2/10
2/10
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:49 pm to BossBailey345
quote:
Trump supporters don't want unity for whatever reason. But I'm all for unity and bringing our country back to having compassion, love and unity. One of the greatest presidents biden will lead us back.
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:49 pm to BossBailey345
quote:
BossBailey345
this schtick isnt fooling anyone
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:49 pm to BossBailey345
Trump supporters were wanting unity the last 4 years while the other side investigated, impeached, rioted, and called them deplorable and racists.
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:51 pm to BossBailey345
quote:
One of the greatest presidents biden will lead us back.
Your troll would've worked better (but not much) if you didn't include this. You do realize that Biden has not been inaugurated yet, right?
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:54 pm to L.A.
why is the BB posting legit dim plans. I thought the only did satire?
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:55 pm to L.A.
Frick Dementia Pedo Joe and the underaged girl he rode in on.
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:56 pm to BossBailey345
quote:
BossBailey345
Everyone should be nice. But frick Trump and all his supporters. I just want unity and love but I will never stand in the same room as conservatives because I hate them. We should all just get along unless you’re a Republican in which case you’re not welcome here. We’re all equal no matter what unless you’re white in which case you don’t deserve equality's
That about cover your belief system?
Posted on 1/12/21 at 1:57 pm to PotatoChip
quote:
Trump supporters were wanting unity the last 4 years while the other side investigated, impeached, rioted, and called them deplorable and racists.
That was the wrong kind of unity. Mandatory unity is much better. I'd say trust me, but you don't really have a choice.
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