re: You're Probably Headed for a Divorce When...

My friend’s dad almost ended up divorced building him and his wife a new house. They’d agree on tile color, cabinet style, general layout or whatever and before he could get started she’d decide she wanted something completely different and he’d have scrap everything and go back to square one. I don’t even know how they finally finished the house because he couldn’t get her to pick something and commit to it without changing her mind a couple weeks later.

When you start taking separate vacations.

And on that note

When your wife suddenly has to go to 'work conferences' out of state.

quote:

---

My friend’s dad almost ended up divorced building him and his wife a new house. They’d agree on tile color, cabinet style, general layout or whatever and before he could get started she’d decide she wanted something completely different and he’d have scrap everything and go back to square one. I don’t even know how they finally finished the house because he couldn’t get her to pick something and commit to it without changing her mind a couple weeks later.

---

I hear these stories all the time and it blows my mind.

If we ever build a house both of us already know once something is set, that's a wrap. And the truth of the matter is, I don't think there's a thing in building a house that we'd ever get upset over as long as it wasn't shoddy work. Anything can be changed after the build is done and we've lived in the home for a bit.

If someone is getting upset over wanting a different color after the fact, they need therapy. You're building a house. A house. Most people in this country are fighting inflation and hoping they can pay medical bills.

People over here fighting about teal.

...start a business together.

In all seriousness, it has been extremely taxing, but the successes make up for the difficult times.

Starting a bar/restaurant together when the hubby drinks and the restaurant is located next to a large urban university.

True story. Hubby lost his mind and wife cut him loose.

quote:

---

Jesus Christ dude you make me want to go hug my husband

---

I doubt he cares about a hug. He could probably use someone to just listen to him without criticism or immediate dismissal and a break from the relentless negativity like constant unceasing waves crashing harder and harder upon an ever eroding beach. You would think you would just give up. Give in. Take the cowards road out for instant relief. The thought has crossed your mind, but its nothing more than a fleeting thought. It's not a reality. Just a place you go to sometimes. Afterall, there are kids to think of.

You don't resent them yet. You don't think so anyway. But you have memories of yelling at them for no reason. And that breaks your heart. They look up to you with inherent and complete trust and admiration and you sometimes feel pulverized by their happiness and curiosity. You smash their childlike wonder with real world anger and stress no child should have to endure. You're a monster. It isn't their fault. Hopefully they can see that. They probably cant. You werent always a monster. At least you dont think so. Despite what she tells you every single day. You've become one. You've changed. But doesnt everyone?

Maybe a couple decades from now it'll be better. Maybe this is just a rough patch. Maybe it'll turn around. Or maybe you'll finally be so broken and numb it just wont matter anymore. Strength is a funny thing. You can be desperate and committed to finding it everyday and somehow lose more of it the harder you try to gain it.