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Posted on 5/26/23 at 5:25 pm to Alyosha
Your Dad greets you in the morning mirror
Posted on 5/26/23 at 5:27 pm to Alyosha
Your goals are:
- A good meal
- A good sh*t
- A good night's sleep
- A good meal
- A good sh*t
- A good night's sleep
Posted on 5/26/23 at 5:34 pm to BHM
quote:
Halfway thru masturbating you just quit.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 5:38 pm to Alyosha
Arguing with internet strangers about politics.
Rock and pop stars from the 70s and 80s start dying off.
You care more about how your lawn looks than just about anything else.
Rock and pop stars from the 70s and 80s start dying off.
You care more about how your lawn looks than just about anything else.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 6:13 pm to wfallstiger
quote:
Your Dad greets you in the morning mirror
Yeah, I’ve turned into my Dad.
You know when your grown arse men sons tell you at holiday dinners what really happened. Pick any incident that resulted in destruction, injuries, or chaos (or all three). At the perfect moment at the feast your children will tell the actual truth (some 30+ years later) concerning the real facts of one of many heart clutching, white knuckle, knee buckling incidents that were, even in their mild less than accurate (or even truthful) explanations, sufficiently terrifying to generate graying of the hair and weakening of the heart.
The facts are so much more terrifying than the cover up that your now gray hair whitens and your heart sheds a day or two longevity.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 6:15 pm to Alyosha
Your kid turns 29. Like mine did today.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 7:00 pm to Alyosha
You go to a training and the trainer only wants to invite you to dinner.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 9:29 pm to The Goon
I make stupid noises when moving up or down. It's a reflex now.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 8:19 am to Mr. Misanthrope
What hasn't released is now snow white..look like the top of a mountain
Posted on 5/27/23 at 8:21 am to wfallstiger
You fart and it fills yr drawz
Posted on 5/27/23 at 5:12 pm to Winslow
A couple of times.. not recently, though
Posted on 5/27/23 at 5:15 pm to TejasHorn
quote:You’re an asshat to say this!
Arguing with internet strangers about politics.
(
) Fight aging, the alternative is not acceptable.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 5:15 pm to Alyosha
You sit down in a chair and rack yourself
Posted on 5/27/23 at 5:18 pm to Alyosha
You get everything at Sam’s from pants to steaks.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 5:22 pm to Alyosha
……….your balls float in the tub and sink in the toilet.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 5:23 pm to BHM
quote:
Halfway thru masturbating you just quit.
Or, more likely, fall asleep.
This post was edited on 5/27/23 at 5:24 pm
Posted on 5/27/23 at 6:51 pm to Alyosha
You own so many old tools and bits of hardware that you forget, and buy duplicates.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 8:03 pm to AutoYes_Clown
quote:
I sneezed last night and it pulled a muscle in my back.
Did that shite today except it is a side rib muscle. Damn that sucker hurts
Posted on 5/27/23 at 8:17 pm to Alyosha
You slip and fall, and instead of laughing at you, everyone rushes to make sure you don't need an ambulance.
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