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Why is it a faux pas to inquire about cause of death?

Posted on 4/14/14 at 12:54 pm
Posted by PenguinNinja
Antarctica (and Japan)
Member since Sep 2011
2082 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 12:54 pm
Every time someone dies (especially unexpectedly or young), I know I'm not the only person that wants to ask what happened to them? However, this is socially not proper, so everyone usually asks a trusted friend behind the scenes about the details.

Just wondering why this is a faux pas to ask? I don't mean asking a close family member crying over the casket.

Also, why not report it with the obituary (when COD is known/obvious)?
Posted by The Mick
Member since Oct 2010
43136 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 12:55 pm to
Are you this dumb?
Posted by Paul Allen
Montauk, NY
Member since Nov 2007
75216 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 12:55 pm to
I don't get it. I've always felt the obituaries should list the cause of death.
Posted by boom roasted
Member since Sep 2010
28039 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 12:56 pm to
Because it's none of your damn business.
Posted by tketaco
Sunnyside, Houston
Member since Jan 2010
19531 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 12:56 pm to
Could be the death was Taboo. Like suicide.
Posted by The Mick
Member since Oct 2010
43136 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 12:57 pm to
Its private, obituaries aren't a police report. Its a family announcing the passing so people can pay respects. If no one tells you the actual cause of death then you're just not close enough to the family.

Posted by LSUGUMBO
Shreveport, LA
Member since Sep 2005
8525 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 12:58 pm to
quote:

Also, why not report it with the obituary (when COD is known/obvious)?


This is how we handled it when my sister died. We all agreed that when you see a young person and the obit reads "died suddenly" or "a brief illness", most people assume suicide, so we wanted to nip all of that in the bud, especially since it was so unexpected.

She collapsed at work on a Monday and she died 2 days later- MRI on Monday revealed a brain tumor at the base of her brain, and before the doctors could do exploratory surgery, she had a seizure which caused her brain to swell and she never woke up.
Posted by Camp Randall
The Shadow of the Valley of Death
Member since Nov 2005
15591 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:00 pm to
quote:

I've always felt the obituaries should list the cause of death.


Got it. Auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Posted by Y.A. Tittle
Member since Sep 2003
101438 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:01 pm to
quote:

I don't get it. I've always felt the obituaries should list the cause of death.


The ones in New Orleans used to do so, I recall. They don't anymore, though.
Posted by illuminatic
Manipulating politicans&rappers
Member since Sep 2012
6962 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:01 pm to
Because the world doesn't revolve around satisfying your curiosity.
Posted by Dorothy
Munchkinland
Member since Oct 2008
18153 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:03 pm to
Because we should mourn their loss no matter the circumstance, even though some more tragic or sudden deaths (like the cyclist hit while training for the Ironman) seem to give us more cause to grieve.

Kind of like when you hear someone has a certain type of cancer like lung cancer, people automatically ask, "Did he smoke?" like that makes cancer suck any less and the person less deserving of our sympathies.

But I know exactly what you mean, and my curiosity always makes me wonder. I even find myself checking the last line of obituaries for where the family wants donations sent, because sometimes that gives you a hint.

BTW, most obits aren't going to list cause of death unless the family wrote it that way, as most are written and paid for by the family.
This post was edited on 4/14/14 at 1:05 pm
Posted by Rebel
Graceland
Member since Jan 2005
131392 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:06 pm to
quote:

Why is it a faux pas to inquire about cause of death?


Because of the Gov't.

HIPAA is exactly why. Many companies(credit cards, utilities, even some mortgage co) will not accept a death certificate if it lists a COD.
Posted by horndog
*edited by ADMIN
Member since Apr 2007
11654 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:07 pm to
quote:

I don't get it. I've always felt the obituaries should list the cause of death.


the Pic in NOLA used to.
Posted by Spaulding Smails
Milano’s Bar
Member since Jun 2012
18805 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:10 pm to
This thread makes me want to go to the doctor to get a check up
Posted by Epic Cajun
Lafayette, LA
Member since Feb 2013
32487 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:13 pm to
HIPAA does not apply to the media. If the media were to gain access to information from a source which is not deemed a covered entity, then HIPAA has no bearing on the info.
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92876 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:13 pm to
quote:

If no one tells you the actual cause of death then you're just not close enough to the family.



If someone you know dies and you don't know why you can usually assume it was something shady!
Posted by Doc Fenton
New York, NY
Member since Feb 2007
52698 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:15 pm to
Yeah. My best friend from HS committed suicide when he was 20, and his family covered it up and lied about it, which just made the whole thing suck even worse than necessary.
Posted by The Mick
Member since Oct 2010
43136 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:27 pm to
Yes agreed but some things can remain unspoken. Especially for the family's sake.
Posted by Y.A. Tittle
Member since Sep 2003
101438 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:33 pm to
quote:

Yeah. My best friend from HS committed suicide when he was 20, and his family covered it up and lied about it, which just made the whole thing suck even worse than necessary.


What did they try to imply as to the cause of death?
Posted by Salviati
Member since Apr 2006
5541 posts
Posted on 4/14/14 at 1:39 pm to
quote:

What did they try to imply as to the cause of death?
Have you learned nothing from this thread?
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