re: Who here has really fu**ed up, but straightened their life out?

I am 32 . Wasted all my twenties screwing every chick that walked and going through very many phases of heavy drug and alcohol abuse. Was very flaky and reckless with jobs . I ruined relationships. I ruined my credit. Etc etc. Been to rehab twice. First time for 3 months at a place in vancleave, ms.. it was a great place and I received good help. Got in great shape while there. I did good for about a year after that until I got cocky and thought I could drink a little again and be okay. I was full on back into everything within 4-6 months after that first drink. Went to rehab again in rayville la for a month. Decided at that point that I couldn't drink again, ever.. Been completely sober now going on 3 years. Kicking arse at my job and got a 23% raise this weekend (no bs) . I met and married a really great girl that has been like a gift from heaven. I had my first child , a boy three weeks ago. Credit is mid 700s now which is a lot better than low 500s where I was. Live in a really nice, newer 2500 sq ft home in a pretty ritzy subdivision. Things really seem good right now and it's hard to even believe how awful of a guy I used to be. Sometimes it feels like I don't deserve it for all the things I've done.

It’s never, ever too late to change yourself or your actions.

First step IMO is just recognizing that the situations we find ourselves in, whether good bad or boring are of our own making.

Jordan Peterson has an outstanding book on this. Here is a link but hop on YouTube and he talks about it for free.

Jordan Peterson - 12 Rules for Life

Good luck and don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do as far as getting clean. If your will to do better is strong you are still young and can have a much better life within a year than you could ever imagine right now, even if the temptations never fully go away.

If you need anything let me know.

I was given a choice and chose the military. It became a career and is the only reason I turned out to be a decent human being. The other part to keeping my life on track was meeting my SO and convincing them to marry me.

Depends if you define this as fricking up. There were no drugs or gambling or whores involved, but I led my family from a comfortable mortgage and livable income to $0/month and living in my parents house. I mean, it was a joint decision between my wife and me but I pursued graduate school without planning for it. Moved across the country for a PhD program and all we had to live on was my stipend and my wife’s $10k/year preschool teacher salary. Couldn’t make it work and moved back home without any prospects.

My wife got a job pretty quickly but it wasn’t enough to keep up with some debt and live in a place that wasn’t a shithole. Took me 4 months to find any kind of income and got ignored by places like Starbucks and Home Depot. It’s a really shitty, emasculating feeling to sit in your parents house at 31 years old while everyone else goes to work and you get ignored or rejected by every job opening you apply to. All that after having my ego inflated by prestigious universities and professors after earning a master’s degree, winning awards, getting published, and being hired to consult for publishing companies.

Now I’m teaching at a middle school. It’s a good job and I’m happy to have it. Though I must say I’m not sure where the true “frick up” happened: attempting to pursue the PhD program or making the decision to leave it.

I struggled with drugs and alcohol for years. Went to jail, totalled two cars in two years. The whole thing. Hit my rock bottom, put the drugs down, got sober(ish), got a degree, found a good woman, and now have a kid and a decent middle class life which is all I ever wanted. The only thing I can tell you is, you can't do it by yourself. Jesus Christ was the answer for me, but I understand that's not for everybody. Just remember this: love kills the demon.

Ive been in and out of treatment for years, currently over 100 days sober

You could put me in this group a couple of times. Alcohol and questionable relationship issues. Totally aware I was headed for the drain but willing to take the ride.

Honestly don't think I would trade those experiences though.

quote:

---

currently over 100 days sober

---

Good for you man. Keep up the good fight.

quote:

---

I did it right the first time, despite temptations. I get credit for that. You succumbed and fricked up. You are punished for that. If you want a case lesson on how to live life, I am a better example than the reformed tweaker. Going through a corrective phase just means you are catching up to those of us who made good decisions.

This applies to newly religious folks, drug recoverers, people with gimmick diets, etc.

Just don't fricking preach to people who are 3 laps ahead of you.

---

I'm glad that life has treated you well and that you have made good decisions but this post reminds me of the important gift that struggles can bring which is humility.