re: When You Feel Like You're Lost In Life

What in the wide world of snowflakes is going on in here?
Toughen up you puss.

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If you're really feeling like this, talk to someone, anyone. I've been there, it's dark, I know but it doesn't last forever. Is there anything right now that brings you joy in life? If not, it's okay.

If you need someone to listen, I'm here.

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Honestly, not like it used to. I used to enjoy playing tennis but I haven't played in almost a year now. I used to love nature but as I've gotten older I just have no tolerance for being outside in the middle of July. Traveling is probably the one thing that does still make me happy. Being in a different city away from regular life, it somewhat reminds me of what it feels like to actually be living and not just surviving.

I'm worried if I talk to someone they're just going to want to put me away in some mental hospital or that they'll contact family and then it'll become a disaster. My brother in law lost a brother who ended their life and I'm sure if I did the same it would bring back some awful memories for him. I don't want my family involved in this. My father wouldn't understand and do the whole "toughen up" BS, my mother would be devastated and blame herself, my sister would be confused and my brother in law would have to relive all sorts of terrible memories.

get a dog

You all really think it would hurt more people if I ended it? I've always thought I would just be forgotten pretty quickly. I mean I'm not anyone famous and even memorable. I'm pretty much the definition of a nobody.

I've even had dreams where I've died and I've seen the aftermath. Sometimes people are crying, sometimes people are laughing, other times people don't even show up. I've definitely wondered recently what a memorial for me would look like (though I grew up Catholic I wouldn't want a religious funeral).

Find a church.
Be involved in said church.
All your “problems” will cease being “problems.”

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You all really think it would hurt more people if I ended it?

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Absolutely. 100%. Without a doubt.

I've seen it personally. It's devastating for the ones left behind.

Get out there.

I lived 3000 miles from my family and friends. I forced myself to join softball teams, bowling teams, flag football teams, whatever the frick teams work had. I never said no to an invitation or happy hour. I volunteered to clean up parks and playgrounds. I went for bike rides. I found people to play tennis. If I wanted to see a movie, I saw it and didn't worry if someone went with me. I did trivia night. I learned to snowboard. I would get in the car and drive to see something new. I'd go ride a damn roller coaster. I just never sat idle.

You'll always be alone if you don't put yourself near other humans. They aren't going to come to you. It doesn't mean you even have to date. It just means you have a place to be.

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Get out there.

I lived 3000 miles from my family and friends. I forced myself to join softball teams, bowling teams, flag football teams, whatever the frick teams work had. I never said no to an invitation or happy hour. I volunteered to clean up parks and playgrounds. I went for bike rides. I found people to play tennis. If I wanted to see a movie, I saw it and didn't worry if someone went with me. I did trivia night. I learned to snowboard. I would get in the car and drive to see something new. I'd go ride a damn roller coaster. I just never sat idle.

You'll always be alone if you don't put yourself near other humans. They aren't going to come to you. It doesn't mean you even have to date. It just means you have a place to be.

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I know, I definitely need to do stuff like this. I've worked from home for the last year and at first I loved it but I think all it's done is isolate me even more in hindsight.

The idea of constantly doing something and not sitting idle I think is good as well. I really do feel like I allow myself to get lost in my thoughts pretty often and then it just becomes a vicious cycle. The thoughts cripple me from wanting to do anything.

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The job aspect is definitely something I would need to fix if I decide to try to keep living.

I agree with your analogy. My body feels like it's on autopilot, hell my whole life feels like it's on autopilot. But there is no spark in my life. My brain feels either numbed or just completely dead. And I have no answers how to get out of it.

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I'm not a professional but if you need to talk to one, there's no shame in it.

Just from my experience, these are the main things I focused on:

1. Evaluate the things bringing you down, like the job

2. Get consistent sleep, eat well, and get good workouts in. It helps your brain chemistry and makes you happier. I go to the gym everyday to manage my sanity. I've even made a group a friends in there and met a woman with mutual interest. A lot of the people in gyms, especially those you'll see all the time, are there for similar reasons.

3. Don't think about the lack of spark. The sparks will present themselves.

4. If you watch tv/movies, put some comedies on and get some laughs in.