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What’s your worst/most memorable shite story?
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:26 pm
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:26 pm
For me it had to be one of two instances. Junior year at UT, was taking my supply chain exam when the addy/coffee shits hit like a hurricane. Tried to hold it off but no avail. Christmas treed the exam and high tailed it out of the auditorium to the nearest throne. I needed to make at least a 46% in order to finish the semester with an A…ended up making a 58 
Other time was in Amsterdam. We did one of those canal boat tours in a little fishing boat. Breakfast did not sit well in my stomach and it hit while we were out on this little boat with no restroom. I debated just jumping in the canal and letting loose. The driver thankfully spoke perfect English (as everyone there does) and was sympathetic to my plight. He pulled off at a dock and pointed out a restaurant with a restroom. I sprinted into the joint and the restroom was locked. Ran back out and into the hotel next door. No lobby restroom. frickin’ Europe man. So I finally found one of those public restrooms on the street corner and let all hell loose.
Other time was in Amsterdam. We did one of those canal boat tours in a little fishing boat. Breakfast did not sit well in my stomach and it hit while we were out on this little boat with no restroom. I debated just jumping in the canal and letting loose. The driver thankfully spoke perfect English (as everyone there does) and was sympathetic to my plight. He pulled off at a dock and pointed out a restaurant with a restroom. I sprinted into the joint and the restroom was locked. Ran back out and into the hotel next door. No lobby restroom. frickin’ Europe man. So I finally found one of those public restrooms on the street corner and let all hell loose.
32
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:35 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Metformin and coffee shits are the worst.
Like a pot of chile through a wood chipper.
Like a pot of chile through a wood chipper.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:36 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Didn’t think things through when that cafe du monde coffee with the chicory in it was staring me in the face.
Not a big coffee drinker as it is and chicory compounded things. About 2 hours later I was ducking into any FQ bathroom I could find. No regard for cleanliness. Amazing I didn’t get some disease.
Not a big coffee drinker as it is and chicory compounded things. About 2 hours later I was ducking into any FQ bathroom I could find. No regard for cleanliness. Amazing I didn’t get some disease.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:40 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Horrible stomach virus. I had been eating Imodium all day. Woke up at 10 PM, shite liquid. Woke up again at 12:05 AM, shite liquid. Woke up at 2:30 AM with shite from the top of my arse to the back of my knees and all over the bed.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:41 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
I began starting my day off with a shot of Apple Cider Vinegar after I heard of its health benefits. I would eat lunch around 2PM and then fast until around 9AM. I started adding a shot of ACV to a small cup of Topo Chico when I first woke up. My bowel movements were very regular but the came to a stop. After several days, I stopped with the ACV, took some laxatives, and eventually felt the urge to go again.
I sat on the toilet in a heavy sweat with my legs bouncing up and down uncontrollably because of the pain. Once that was over, everything went back to normal. I stopped messing with ACV.
I sat on the toilet in a heavy sweat with my legs bouncing up and down uncontrollably because of the pain. Once that was over, everything went back to normal. I stopped messing with ACV.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:49 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
One night after eating Chipotle I woke up around 3am with extreme stomach pain. The second I got out of bed I started shitting my self and continued all the way to the bathroom while trying to pull my pajama bottoms off. When I got to the bathroom a massive amount exploded out my arse and I slipped on the tile floor and hit my head on the bathtub on the way down. I laid on the shite-covered tile floor til I quit feeling dizzy. Got up, showered, and went back to bed.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:50 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
This thread.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:51 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
The time it ran down my leg as I got to work
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:05 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:09 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Had to stop at a Red Roof Inn shortly after a couple of Krystal burgers went bad in the gut. I could of shite thru a screen door.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:10 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Was during a 4 day backpacking venture on the Timberline Trail Mt Hood Oregon. Had been hiking and camping for the week leading up to that hike and wasn’t taking normal dumps. I was fueled up from a week straight of munching on dried out camping meals, peanut butter, crawfish we caught and boiled, beef jerky and drinking filtered water from streams. On the third morning of backpacking I felt the sensation of bubble guts pressing me hard. Walked off the trail near the summit and found a big rock to squat behind while also being able to see the best view of the peak since the hike began. Dug out a decent size hole so I could bury the pile. As soon as I took a squat I just felt a large mass exiting that lasted like 15 seconds straight of just butt mud flowing. Stood up to observe my work and what I saw was quite shocking. The hole I had dug (maybe 4 inches deep and 4 inches wide) was entirely filled up to the point my shite was piled above by a good 5 inches. Looked like a bear had been there. My buddy hiking with me was like 20 yards away and shouted out that he could smell it from the trail. I said you gotta come see this but he was like frick that I’m getting as far away from that as possible.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:14 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
When I was in law school at Tulane, I had to park off campus.
That day, I was parked on Calhoun. Probably a 10 minute walk. I thought I was going to pass gas and I dropped a full load in my pants. I made a U-turn without breaking stride and, after walking back to my truck, had to drive back to my apartment in Metairie while sitting in my own shite.
That day, I was parked on Calhoun. Probably a 10 minute walk. I thought I was going to pass gas and I dropped a full load in my pants. I made a U-turn without breaking stride and, after walking back to my truck, had to drive back to my apartment in Metairie while sitting in my own shite.
This post was edited on 7/29/23 at 4:16 pm
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:17 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
quote:
For me it had to be one of two instances. Junior year at UT, was taking my supply chain exam when the addy/coffee shits hit like a hurricane. Tried to hold it off but no avail. Christmas treed the exam and high tailed it out of the auditorium to the nearest throne. I needed to make at least a 46% in order to finish the semester with an A…ended up making a 58 ?
Similar story, econ final taught by Lamar Jones, a good dude who also was Dean of the college of business. Maybe because he liked me, maybe because of the unmistakable expression of distress on my face, he let me come back and finish the exam.
Hard to pick just one, but if we're not counting stomach viruses, I guess the worst was driving back the day after an LSU game. I don't know if it was the hangover or the breakfast buffet but I had to stop every few miles and run off in the woods. A regular three hour trip took five.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:18 pm to SportsGuyNOLA
quote:does your husband wear 'pajama bottoms' as well?
while trying to pull my pajama bottoms off.
quote:
my pajama bottoms
quote:
SportsGuyNOLA
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:20 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Kumite 1998
Some a-hole kept talking shite prior to our match
With solid karate, he had already defeated my ogre wrasslin friend that I met the day before.
I was pissed, and on tilt
I had also just met an OT 7 the day before, but she was white and her sex game was OT 8. She was all “blah blah blah! Just keep fricking me! If you fight, something horrible will happen! That dude’s karate is solid!” Lol shut up, bitch
Match arrives
I karate chopped my opponent’s head with such fierce that there was an assplosion that rocked the entire island.
He died on contact, and 18 chinamen waving weird currency, died on the spot, or within the next two days in the hospital
I felt awful for minutes after the last death
How could I ever let an OT 7 get in my head like that?
Some a-hole kept talking shite prior to our match
With solid karate, he had already defeated my ogre wrasslin friend that I met the day before.
I was pissed, and on tilt
I had also just met an OT 7 the day before, but she was white and her sex game was OT 8. She was all “blah blah blah! Just keep fricking me! If you fight, something horrible will happen! That dude’s karate is solid!” Lol shut up, bitch
Match arrives
I karate chopped my opponent’s head with such fierce that there was an assplosion that rocked the entire island.
He died on contact, and 18 chinamen waving weird currency, died on the spot, or within the next two days in the hospital
I felt awful for minutes after the last death
How could I ever let an OT 7 get in my head like that?
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:32 pm to Jim Rockford
Driving back to Bogalusa from a wedding in Bay St Louis. That stretch from Pearl river to Bogalusa is a waste land, no store to stop at, not enough shoulder to hit the road. Plus Talisheek is full of tweekers. The pain commenced and I was driving. Cruise set on 65 and the pressure was so intense that I was scared to apply the brakes. I made it to the Bogalusa Country Club around 2am and couldn't even drive anymore. I was able to swap seats with Ms Gee. I got home and all hell broke loose.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:42 pm to Gee Grenouille
quote:
I got home and all hell broke loose.
This nullifies the whole story. You made it.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:49 pm to Mr Clean
quote:This is called “Tuesday” in Hammertime’s world.
I made a U-turn without breaking stride and, after walking back to my truck, had to drive back to my apartment in Metairie while sitting in my own shite.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:51 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Legion field bathroom during LSU-Bama game 1984 during a storm. The bathroom was disgusting and nasty stadium juice was pouring all over me from above. Toilets were full and didn’t flush. There were no doors on the stall so everyone who came in could see and hear me. Almost everyone made some kind of comment about how they were glad it wasn’t them. Needless to say, there was no TP either. When you gotta go, you gotta go. At least we won the game!
Posted on 7/29/23 at 4:53 pm to JDMMonroeTiger
quote:
The bathroom was disgusting and nasty stadium juice was pouring all over me from above.
Oh dear God
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