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Started By
Message
re: What would you do? Kid at the zoo wanted me to pay for his snacks.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 5:56 pm to Oates Mustache
Posted on 4/27/23 at 5:56 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
I'm not saying you're an a-hole, but I personally would have bought him the banana and whatever else he wanted, under certain conditions.
1. He was respectful with a "yes sir", or at least thankful and polite.
2. If he just walked up and demanded a banana, I'd buy it for him on the condition that he ask politely, and again be thankful. That is where I'd use a teaching moment, not trying to get him to reimburse me or someone else.
I didn't grow up with much either. So I know what it's like to work with a limited budget.
And I really wish the kid would have politely asked. It would have made it easier. It wasn't like everyone got a banana but him.
It was HOW he approached the situation. Like he expected me to read his mind. Or just do whatever he thought I should.
And I didn't want to start the day with that precedent. Because then every time he wanted something, he'd expect me to get it. Could I have? Sure. But he had money. That's the point.
Hell he got everything he wanted that day except a banana he probably would have taken a bite out of then complained it was cold and thrown away.
The kid came out ahead in the end.
I probably should have told the other mom to just not worry about it instead of making change and suggesting he pay her back though. He probably didn't understand the concept anyway.
0
Posted on 4/27/23 at 6:25 pm to fr33manator
quote:swarthy?
White kid, If it matters.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 6:33 pm to SuperSaint
Nah just a regular vanilla kid. If I had to guess, only child used to getting his way all the time with very few consequences
Posted on 4/27/23 at 7:32 pm to CocomoLSU
quote:
Yes, you were an a-hole.
But outside of maybe making him pay the lady back, everything else can at least be chalked up to some sort of life lessons. The reimbursement was over the line IMO.
FWIW, I thought the mom was a bit of a Karen about that too, but I get she had to feed her kid and wanted to get him stuff too. I worded that part poorly. I didn't MAKE him pay her back, but he seemed to have enough understanding to know it wasn't free and she was an easy mark. Like a kid used to getting his way. I gave him the ability and suggested he make the right choice, but I can see how I really didn't leave him an easy out either.
quote:
As for if the kid was playing you or not, there's not enough information to decide. But it seems like either answer is in play. If I felt like he was trying to play me, I would've been a bit of an a-hole but still helped him out (at least somewhat).
If he seemed sincere, I likely would've helped him anyway and made it clear that I wasn't gonna buy him shite all day long.
It's not his fault he got stuck with a tightwad a-hole parent, just like it's not yours that you got stuck with a potentially grifting kid.
I wasn't doing it to be a tightwad. I legit thought I was being fair. Looking back...maybe should have bought an extra banana. And then explained that from here on out, he had money, he could choose how he spent it.
I don't think he even really wanted the banana though. Just didn't want to spend his money. Hell probably didn't even understand the concept.
quote:
So I guess you're an a-hole, but not an egregious one.
And thanks for not rhyming your OP or making it into some stupid song
Even though I gave him extra in the end?
Posted on 4/27/23 at 7:41 pm to fr33manator
Kid should be grateful for the life lesson on budgeting...
I would have bought the snacks as long as the kid was polite.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 8:20 pm to fr33manator
I want to ask a question but I'll appear to be racist so I wont.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 8:24 pm to fr33manator
You made this shite overly complex for no reason. Not everything is a life lesson, it’s a fricking field trip. Some of y’all are fricking cheap asses.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 8:29 pm to fr33manator
You wouldn't have posted here unless you thought you were a bit of an arse. Not your responsibility to provide for this kid, but would it have hurt to get him the flippin' banana?
Posted on 4/27/23 at 8:41 pm to Bongo
quote:
Not your responsibility to provide for this kid, but would it have hurt to get him the flippin' banana?
If he had asked nicely when I was getting them I probably would have. But I'm not clairvoyant. He didn't want any of the other snacks. He just...expected it. Came off as entitled and demanding instead of genuine.
ETA: and he had the money for it! Nothing was stopping him from getting a banana.
It's not about the banana. It was never about the banana. The banana was not the issue here, it was the principle.
This post was edited on 4/27/23 at 8:43 pm
Posted on 4/27/23 at 8:41 pm to fr33manator
Fake and gay
Posted on 4/27/23 at 8:44 pm to The Boat
quote:
Fake and gay
Now I hope he writes a song about it, just to really piss people off
Posted on 4/27/23 at 8:47 pm to Joshjrn
quote:
Now I hope he writes a song about it, just to really piss people off
Did you miss this to the tune of "they all ask for you?"
If you go down to, the Audubon zoo,
Maybe bring, your dad with you ,
But if you do, his kids and crew,
Might have to eat some veggies too,
And If you've got cash,
Don't ask my arse,
For a frozen banana,
Cause I'll say lad,
Go ask your dad,
But he's at the cabana,
If you ain't got,
Cash for a lot,
Then it's not in your budget,
And if you do,
Then maybe you,
Should make your choice or fudge it.
ETA: I expected to catch some flak for the long post. I expected some flak for not buying the kid the rudely demanded nanner.
What I didn't expect was getting slammed for some healthy snack offerings. Y'all are wild
This post was edited on 4/27/23 at 8:57 pm
Posted on 4/27/23 at 9:00 pm to fr33manator
Posted on 4/27/23 at 9:00 pm to fr33manator
I don’t think you did anything just out of line.
I think the perhaps misstep was by you and the other parent helping. Y’all should have given your kids their own money to spend. I am sure it is tricky in a situation like this and you are your kids parent obviously but you are also a level of authority/care taker for the group you are looking out for. At 11, I would think the kid would be able to distinguish but crap like this is tricky.
Essentially you have to treat your kids in this situation like you would all the other kids. As If you were the coach of a team your kids are on.
Let me ask this. If this kid was staying over the night, his parents send him money, but the same situation…would you have bought the banana?
I think the perhaps misstep was by you and the other parent helping. Y’all should have given your kids their own money to spend. I am sure it is tricky in a situation like this and you are your kids parent obviously but you are also a level of authority/care taker for the group you are looking out for. At 11, I would think the kid would be able to distinguish but crap like this is tricky.
Essentially you have to treat your kids in this situation like you would all the other kids. As If you were the coach of a team your kids are on.
Let me ask this. If this kid was staying over the night, his parents send him money, but the same situation…would you have bought the banana?
This post was edited on 4/27/23 at 9:05 pm
Posted on 4/27/23 at 9:02 pm to fr33manator
He's 11, I'm sure he had no clue about the principle you were clinging so tightly to. And I just find it shocking that a kid would want something from a snack bar over your sweet peppers. Pretty sure this kid learned a valuable lesson from all of this.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 9:25 pm to fr33manator
The only variable that would’ve influenced my attitude towards the kid is how he looked, how he dressed and how he carried himself. If he was a well mannered young chap you were in the wrong. If he was dusty and had no manners you were in the right. Either way I’m sorry that you’re poor.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 9:28 pm to Rhames
quote:
I think the perhaps misstep was by you and the other parent helping. Y’all should have given your kids their own money to spend. I am sure it is tricky in a situation like this and you are your kids parent obviously but you are also a level of authority/care taker for the group you are looking out for.
At 11, I would think the kid would be able to distinguish but crap like this is tricky. Essentially you have to treat your kids in this situation like you would all the other kids. As If you were the coach of a team your kids are on.
Which is what I was trying to do. I'd expect the same from my kids and constantly try to use situations like this to teach. That it's not about the money or the thing, it's the principle. If you want something, and have money to spend for that, you have to choose. And if you don't, ask nicely and be polite and a lot of the time people will be understanding. But you don't get to be rude and duplicitous (still not 100% sure he meant to do it like that but it felt not on the up and up.) to get what you want without consequences.
quote:
Let me ask this. If this kid was staying over the night, his parents send him money, but the same situation…would you have bought the banana?
Almost definitely and if I knew the kid and his situation wasn't great I probably would have offered to let him pick some snacks for the big bag. But also would have explained the rules and talked with his parents about what the budget was and how it was to be spent. I'd never let a kid go hungry. And that wasn't the case here at all. There was plenty of food and some even got thrown away.
What I struggled with was the rudeness and the expectation right out the gate. I was trying to establish some ground rules and didn't want him thinking he could just do...well, exactly what he did with the other lady.
It bothered me, because I wouldn't put up with my own kids acting like that.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 9:31 pm to fr33manator
It’s wild to me that you keep talking about a budget. It’s a GD trip to the zoo
Posted on 4/27/23 at 9:41 pm to Artificial Intel
quote:
The only variable that would’ve influenced my attitude towards the kid is how he looked, how he dressed and how he carried himself.
Just a normal looking kid. Nothing seemed off. Someone else said I should have looked at his shoes. Now that I think of it I did look at his shoes later because he asked me to retie them tighter so i did. Normal shoes.
quote:
If he was a well mannered young chap you were in the wrong. If he was dusty and had no manners you were in the right. Either way I’m sorry that you’re poor.
He was rude...but it was more like he didn't know any better. I think part of me feels bad I didn't just chalk it up to poor home training and ask if he wanted me to get him a banana, but that just felt like reinforcing bad behavior at that point and i didn't want to start the day like that. The mom's reaction may have colored my reaction too but I mean, I get her position. Everyone has a budget. And I offered other options.
Posted on 4/27/23 at 9:44 pm to fr33manator
In a perfect world, every kid would have the same amount and decide what they want to spend it on.
At 11 years old kids do understand the concept of budgeting right? I mean at the very basic at least right? Parents give them x amount and they know that they have to decide what they want to do with it.
Some kids might have more, some kids might have less. It seems like his parents might be the one to blame for his behavior. They should be the ones to tell him "here is $20. You will have to decide how you will spend it".
If my parents found out I asked other parents for money because I wanted more than the amount I was given to spend, it wouldn't have been pretty. Even at 6 or 7 that seems like something that I just new not to do.
In this situation I might have pulled the kid to the side, gave him $10 and told him it was a one time thing and that it isn't polite to ask other parents for money. You can use giving him $10 as an opportunity to tell him what his parents should tell him.
At 11 years old kids do understand the concept of budgeting right? I mean at the very basic at least right? Parents give them x amount and they know that they have to decide what they want to do with it.
Some kids might have more, some kids might have less. It seems like his parents might be the one to blame for his behavior. They should be the ones to tell him "here is $20. You will have to decide how you will spend it".
If my parents found out I asked other parents for money because I wanted more than the amount I was given to spend, it wouldn't have been pretty. Even at 6 or 7 that seems like something that I just new not to do.
In this situation I might have pulled the kid to the side, gave him $10 and told him it was a one time thing and that it isn't polite to ask other parents for money. You can use giving him $10 as an opportunity to tell him what his parents should tell him.
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