re: What was your experience of the Great toilet paper shortage of 2020

right when all that happened i lost my wiping hand


still,, never shite myself and my butt could pass inspection.. i went through a bottle of witchhazel and wipes but i kept my arse clean

It starts with one roll, I don’t know why
Didn’t think I’d be measuring wipes tonight
I tried to keep count, watched the paper descend
Every single pull closer to the end
I tried to be careful, tried to be clean
Saved what I could, if you know what I mean
But even restraint only goes so far
When you’re staring at cardboard like it betrayed who you are
(Pre-Chorus)
I planned it all, thought I was ready
But the shortage wasn’t steady
Every sheet I try to defend
Still disappears in the end
(Chorus)
I tried so hard to make it last
In the end, it went too fast
I had one roll, I gave my all
In the end, it didn’t matter
(Verse 2)
I trusted the store, said “I’ll be fine”
Now I’m paying for that lie
I kept my calm, I stayed composed
Now I’m bargaining with the ghost of a roll
I watched it thin, watched it fade
Measured survival by the choices I made
I learned too late what I can’t suspend
When the paper runs out in the end
(Bridge)
I put my trust in one last roll
Tried to stretch it, tried control
What I saved, what I protected
Was always going to be expended
(Final Chorus)
I tried so hard to make it last
In the end, it went too fast
I had one roll, I gave my all
In the end…
It didn’t matter

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I had to switch from charmin ultra soft to charmin ultra strong for a few months, hole almost didn’t make it

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Posted by The Poo

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Name checks

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charmin

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My aunt passed away in the Spring of 2022. She lived alone, but did have family and stuff over all the time. My mom inherited her car, which was a just about worn out Nissan (she was going to by a new one, but never got the chance).

I went over and got the car, brought it back to my mom's. A few days later I looked through it. I popped the trunk and I promise it was packed full with as many packs of toilet paper as it would hold.......all brands and all quality.

I think the ol' girl was black market dealing shite paper and got caught holding when the supply caught up.

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but 1-ply is for absolute heathens....

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....and government facilities.

I mean who here doesn't have a bidet ?

I was living in Ellick when COVID hit. I remember walking into the Walmart on Coliseum and the shelves being completely bare. I mean just everything gone out of that place. All the paper products. All the meats. All the bread. All the eggs. It was crazy. The really funny thing about it though was that even then nobody touched the Beyond Meat.

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I was living in Ellick

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This drives me up the wall. It's the stupidest, most nonsense nickname for a place ever. I would hear people say they were going to "Ellick"

And I'm thinking there must be some hip town in CENLA named "Ellick". Never saw a road sign or found it on a map.

Surely if couldn't be Alexandria. Because that sounds nothing like "Ellick."

It wasn't Ellick-sander the Great. There was no Great Library of Ellick-sand-ria.


Imagine my surprise when I found out.

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And I'm thinking there must be some hip town in CENLA named "Ellick". Never saw a road sign or found it on a map.

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Did you ever hear Jim Hawthorne scold people on the pronunciation of Alex Box?