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Started By
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re: What do you do when grounding doesn't work?
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:19 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:19 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
Buy a pit bull and hide some bacon in the boy’s pockets.
0
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:20 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
Sounds like he likes to party and you're a buzz kill. Lighten up dude, he's just having fun.
The only advice I have is to shag his GF in front of him, that'll show him who is boss.
The only advice I have is to shag his GF in front of him, that'll show him who is boss.
This post was edited on 10/9/23 at 11:04 am
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:20 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:
This weekend is homecoming and my first instinct is to yank it away, but I don't want to punish the poor girl who has the dress, has the shoes, and is looking forward to the dance.
If they are sensible at all, her parents will thank you for protecting her by yanking him off her dance card.
She may thank you much later, as will he as (if) he matures.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:23 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
Let the police haul him in and scare him straight.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:26 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:Focus on this. What you are currently doing is not working. He is not getting the message. The "punishment" is not having any effect. You cannot keep doing the same thing and expecting different results
He generally rolls over when he gets punished, but then he fricking does it again.
You have to get on the same page with his father. The fact that the father seems to think its no big deal may be part of why the kid keeps doing it.
This could be about attention. I had a friend go through a similar situation, and he started taking his son on semi-annual trips, just the two of them, for a week at a time. They'd go out in the woods, hike and camp, with no cell phones or electronics. It really helped him reconnect with his son, and helped the son reconnect with him.
There are lots of good suggestions in this thread about making him get more involved with the family, too.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:27 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
It sounds like you have already missed the opportunity to instill good morals in him with arse whoopings. Good luck controlling the heathen now.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:28 am to Adajax
Sounds like he doesn't need to be playing travel ball anymore. You probably won't do that though because Brayden is going to be a D1 college starter. Also, find out what kids were at your house at 15 drinking all your alcohol. His friends may be the problem.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:29 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
Try rewards for good behavior instead of punishment. Really driven kids will work through punishment.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:31 am to Adajax
quote:
Let the police haul him in and scare him straight.
Dad did this to me, it worked.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:31 am to Death Before Disco
quote:
I had a friend go through a similar situation, and he started taking his son on semi-annual trips, just the two of them, for a week at a time. They'd go out in the woods, hike and camp, with no cell phones or electronics. It really helped him reconnect with his son, and helped the son reconnect with him.
I was going to say, sign the kid up for every sport you can.
At some point Im buying a boat, just to get my kid away from the circus.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:32 am to boogedy
quote:
Also, find out what kids were at your house at 15 drinking all your alcohol. His friends may be the problem.
OK, narc
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:33 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:
Two weeks after last day of grounding, he's busted for hosting a party in our absence and plowing through significant amounts of alcohol. Clearly grounding isn't working. This weekend is homecoming and my first instinct is to yank it away, but I don't want to punish the poor girl who has the dress, has the shoes, and is looking forward to the dance.
What have you all tried that was fair and effective?
I would probably allow Hoco but I would have some requirements. I'd require some check ins along the way. Maybe rather than such a negative punishment, I'd allow him to earn things by doing things around the house and yard, earning money (by doing these things) to pay for the paint job corrections, even things as simple as attitude with the family or time spent with a sibling or mom and dad with a good attitude.
My son gave us lot of trouble when he was a teen and for a few years after graduation. It was hard. Sometimes, long groundings, so much punishment, etc. make them feel like they have nothing to lose (Judd Nelson and Breakfast Club syndrome) so they quit trying. In addition to punishments, they need to have some victories as well. Somehow, find ways to give them small rewards for doing the right thing. I don't know what this looks like for your family, but it did help us. Constant grounding gives them nothing to look forward to and all they are doing is finding ways to escape it and then get into more trouble.
Also, try to figure out his friend group. I heard people say often that their kid is running around with the wrong group and causing them to get into trouble. No, your kid is choosing that group of friends. Who are they? Why are they trouble, etc.? What is your child involved in to take up his time with more positive pursuits?
It took a while, but most eventually grow up and are respectable citizens. My son is 36, married 8 years, 1 year old son, owns a home, etc.
This post was edited on 10/9/23 at 10:35 am
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:36 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:
have a 15 year old son who just got off of a 6 week grounding for stealing our car, egging houses, ruining the paint job on his brother's car.
Two weeks after last day of grounding, he's busted for hosting a party in our absence and plowing through significant amounts of alcohol. Clearly grounding isn't working. This weekend is homecoming and my first instinct is to yank it away, but I don't want to punish the poor girl who has the dress, has the shoes, and is looking forward to the dance.
What have you all tried that was fair and effective?
Mental health evaluation. Honestly this sounds like someone that is headed to prison. Also make you and your stuff less of a target. Can't leave keys around, no money, no alcohol. etc. And look in the mirror and see what you've done that may have set a bad example and fix it. Maybe stop drinking for instance. Perhaps that example would be helpful. You never know.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:36 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
I clicked in this thread thinking i’d be able to share some wisdom regarding electricity.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:39 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:
have a 15 year old son who just got off of a 6 week grounding for stealing our car, egging houses, ruining the paint job on his brother's car.
Two weeks after last day of grounding, he's busted for hosting a party in our absence and plowing through significant amounts of alcohol. Clearly grounding isn't working. This weekend is homecoming and my first instinct is to yank it away, but I don't want to punish the poor girl who has the dress, has the shoes, and is looking forward to the dance.
kid sounds like a badass
let the boy cook!
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:40 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
15 year old boy? Time to man up.
Corner him, throw him up against the wall, grab him by the neck, get close to his face, tell him he doesn’t have to love you but he will respect you, make sure some spit flys out of your mouth, and be sure to squeeze his neck for a few seconds so he gets scared.
Corner him, throw him up against the wall, grab him by the neck, get close to his face, tell him he doesn’t have to love you but he will respect you, make sure some spit flys out of your mouth, and be sure to squeeze his neck for a few seconds so he gets scared.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:41 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
I was allowed to do anything I wanted but I also had a 4:00 am wake up with hard work until 7:30 then got ready for school and did the same at the end of the day from 4-8 when there wasn’t sports practice.
That schedule, combined with hard ranch work before and after school resulted in me making better choices. I didn’t have the energy to frick around.
Are you Doctor Phil??
This post was edited on 10/9/23 at 10:44 am
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:42 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:
I don't want to punish the poor girl who has the dress, has the shoes, and is looking forward to the dance.
Ultimate punishment for your son: No pussy.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:45 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
Harlingen Military Academy
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:45 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:
until our son has gained some maturity. Or at least arrange for a dumpy house sitter if we do leave. Our LSU Junior was home for break, but a 21 year old is apparently NOT an effective adult for supervision. Surprise
100% agreed. He has to show you he is mature enough and that will take quite a bit of trust earning before you are there. I've been in that spot with a 16 year old 20 years ago. Came back to find a house that was in good shape, but a ruined mini food processor that had signs of being used to chop weed. Didn't leave him overnight after that till after he graduated from HS.
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