re: What are the biggest challenges in a marriage?

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What challenges should one expect? And how long into a marriage before one can expect to experience these challenges?

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Having a child introduces new challenges. It's a big adjustment.

Will you be my best baw

I've just never been into having kids. I don't know the reason. Maybe because I grew up with an aunt and grandmother running a nursery and I went there every day after school. 20 something screaming babies and kids may have done it.

Plus I mean who wants to go out with girls their own age? Especially someone in their 30s.

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I'll just butt in on the whole "why would we change our minds about kids." If ya'll are in your mid 20's, she's got 10-15 years at most to have children, while you could still get someone pregnant when you're 50. So that pressure it going to start building on her way faster than on you. She's gonna start thinking about just what it is that she's giving up a lot sooner than you will. When you get right down to it and are really honest with yourself, there aren't many things more meaningful in this life than having and raising a kid. You'd have to have a hell of a career or purpose to really supplant that.

So, while you might be perfectly ok not having kids, she's very likely (if she's like a lot of other women I know who thought they didn't want to have kids in their mid 20's) going to be like this

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We're both 28 almost 29. Why would she feel pressure to have children when she doesn't want them? And why would she feel that she's missing out on something when she's repulsed by the idea of pregnancy, and subsequently raising a child? She doesn't like kids. There are some serious family reasons for that as well but I'd rather not go into that. We're going to Iceland in 1 month and we're going to Australia sometime in the Spring. We'd rather travel than change diapers.

She's an attorney who works 60 hours a week. She wants to make partner and she's in an incredibly competitive field, competing with guys who don't get pregnant and have to miss time with a baby. She spent $125k going to a good law school, in addition to the money she spent for undergrad at UT. She's ambitious and wants different things in life than sitting around her pajamas trying to quiet a crying baby. I've known that since we started dating 5 years ago. The most meaningful things to her are our spending time together, traveling and doing other things, and her securing and representing big-name clients. I work R&D projects as an engineer. I don't regularly work nearly as much as she does, but depending on the projects I'm working, I can end up working late nights and weekends. Does that mean it's impossible for either of us to ever want kids. No. But neither of us is willing to scale back at our jobs. It would be incredibly unfair and irresponsible for us to have a child and not devote the requisite attention to properly rear said child. I can't even imagine the amount of work it would take for me to convince her to want children. And that's after someone convinced me of it.

People won't believe you but that's a honest response.

If that's what you and your wife have planned out don't let people discourage you.

She may change and you will entertain it because you love her, but even if kids did become a want, the foundation both of you are laying down now will help them significantly.

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Raising children and finances, seem the most obvious/most common. It seems pretty straightforward if your finances are in order and you don't have children. After that there are many small issues that will always need to be addressed, as in any relationship, but it seems that it will mostly come down to compatibility.

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Honestly not a bad reply from a guy who's been here about week!