TulaneLSU's Top 10 tips and attractions at Disney World (many pictures)

Dear Friends,

St. Paul once wrote, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Some men work in fields, others in shops, others in refineries, and still others in restaurants. What a joy it is to read through the Bible and find so many affirming statements about work. Work started in the very beginning for humans, with God telling the man in the Garden to work it and care for it. Even as time moved forward, even during the reign of the slothful and indulgent Romans, who saw dipsomania and orgies as the good life, over the land of the Jews, work was honorable. For Paul, it does not matter what work you do, so long as you do it with gusto and for the Lord.

Over the Christmas break, after quite a lonely Christmas day, I joined family east of Destin, a place we gather a few times a year. I do not particularly like the beach or the shark-infested waters or the sand that never fails to irritate my feet. The winter beach, though, when the sun’s rays and the crowds are less intense, is more tolerable to me.

Mother, Uncle, Cousin, and a host of less closely related cousins were present. Uncle owns a beach house there now, as do several cousins. One evening after dinner, we were sitting on the porch. Uncle and one of his neighbors, who happens to be a neighbor also in New Orleans, were waxing about some of their favorite vacations.

“Denali was my absolute tops. It was at once the most difficult and the most beautiful climb I have ever done.” Uncle, as you remember, is a mountaineer, as is father. He is a much more accomplished mountaineer than father, but is still not in the same league as Charles, father’s college roommate.

Uncle’s friend listened as he sipped on Bali tea in his geodesic spherical mug which reflected the imported Italian twinkle lights hanging from the window’s edge. “I was eight years old. Dad packed us in a plane without telling us where we were going. I was the oldest so none of us knew where we were after landing at the airport. When we got in the rental car, Dad made us wear sunglasses that he had taped blinders over so that we could not see where we were going. Somehow we still did not have a clue even after we checked in to the hotel. The next morning we got on this fancy futuristic train, and then we were there: at the gates of Disney World. We went buckwild. To this day, I cannot say I have had more fun than my first trip to Disney World.”

Uncle frowned. Uncle has always had a distaste for Disney. Whether that is from personal experience there or due to that for which Disney stands, I do not know. Silence hung over the glow of the lights. It was a little awkward, so in I chimed.



“I remember my first trip to Disney. I was six. We stayed at the Contemporary, which was neat. I still remember how the carpet felt on my face and how the breakfast foods were shaped like characters from the shows. It was the first time I rode a rollercoaster, Space Mountain. What a thrill it was. I also could not get enough of Pirates of the Caribbean and the Swiss Family Treehouse. Mother bought me a fiber optic wand to help me see in the night. I cannot forget the beautiful blues, purples, and reds that the wand made in the Disney dark. Now we see those colors all the time with LED everywhere, but then it was something special. I wonder whatever happened to that wand.”

“That was the trip where you tried to shake Abe Lincoln’s animatronic hand,” Uncle remembered. “You almost got us removed from the park for that stunt.”

The conversation continued, but my mind drifted to those days some thirty years ago. I had not since returned because even as a child I was ambivalent about Disney. When I say ambivalent, I mean it not in the way most Americans incorrectly take the word to mean, as though they are indifferent. These Americans see the world as yes, no, or it does not matter. Perhaps much of our extremism can be traced to this poor understanding of word meaning and nuance. No, ambivalent, in its literal and right sense, is to have mixed feelings, to hold something in both hands and to see its good and its bad.

Disney is mesmerizing, especially to a child. Its fantasy lands, rides, characters, and spectacles are enough to stimulate even the most reprobate child screen addict. Nonetheless, even as a child, I also recognized the bad in Disney: that it was all fantasy and escapism, and that it lacked any mention of God. And so, even as my few friends returned to Disney throughout elementary and middle school, I did not. Mother offered, but I had no desire to return.

“I have a timeshare near the gates of Disney,” Uncle’s friend spoke. Somehow these words interrupted my train of thought and I looked up to find he was looking straight at me. “You can have it this week if you want it.”

I did not know what to say. I had not even considered returning to Disney. What would I do there? I knew neither Uncle nor Mother would want to go. Cousin could not either, so why would he invite me to go there knowing I have no one to bring? But it would be rude to decline such a generous invitation.

And then Paul’s word to the church at Colossus rang in my ears. “Whatever you do, work heartedly.” I realized I could transform a place of leisure into a workplace. If I were to go to Disney, and for the benefit of my friends of TigerDroppings, record it as though a modern day Thucydides reporting on the battles between the Spartans and the Athenians, I could redeem this place of comfort and vacation.

My mind made up, I responded, “That would be lovely.” To cut to the chase, Uncle’s friend gave me directions and keys, and I borrowed Mother’s vehicle, which is not a silver Yukon, as has been rumored. Six hours later, I was at the security gate and ready for bed, as it was nearly 2 in the morning. I had phoned ahead to a college friend from Delgado who now works at Disney as a cast member, something in which he takes great pride. He was excited to show me around his bailiwick.

Day one was a Sunday and we spent it at Magic Kingdom. I had just three days to spend at the parks, but my goal was to see all four parks and ride every single ride. As park hopping was not open, to visit multiple parks required either multiple tickets or being friends with an annual pass holder who had guest tickets. Along the way, I devised a list of tips and recommendations for any future travelers.