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Posted on 6/16/23 at 12:42 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
they seem to agree that the depression I have battled for 10 years isn’t under control.
I inquired in a previous post if you are seeing your Doctor, Therapist, Clinical Psychologist, Psychiatrist, etc ... regularly and taking your meds as prescribed ? If you've battled depression for 10+ years, the combination of psychotherapy and controlled medication will help with your mental health issues. In order to get better, you need to set realistic short-term and long-term goals, formulate a treatment plan, follow through with it, and actively consult with your specialist to see if the plan is working. I would avoid alcohol since it's a depressant and will only compound your marriage and depression problems.
Posted on 6/16/23 at 4:24 pm to baldona
quote:
missing a wedding your spouse wants you at because you are drunk/ hungover is going make almost all women mad.
All people mad...this is just not something most people do...especially several times a year, since he mentioned NYE. It's not a good thing for someone to drink till passing out and missing events multiple times a year. Say they're not an alcoholic all you want, but that's a drinking problem.
Posted on 6/16/23 at 4:33 pm to TexasTiger08
First of all, realize that half the population is divorced. Don’t see it as the end of the world. You’ll get through it just fine.
Next, decide if you want to “save” the marriage and at what price. It sounds cold, but you might be better off starting over with someone else. A clean slate beats all that baggage. There’s a knee jerk impulse to chase your losses. Don’t. Unless there are children involved and then everything changes.
Love is what makes the difference. If she still loves you, anything is possible. Often, tho, that ship has sailed. She should be honest with you in that regard. If she’s gone, she’s gone.
Last, but not least, get help.
Next, decide if you want to “save” the marriage and at what price. It sounds cold, but you might be better off starting over with someone else. A clean slate beats all that baggage. There’s a knee jerk impulse to chase your losses. Don’t. Unless there are children involved and then everything changes.
Love is what makes the difference. If she still loves you, anything is possible. Often, tho, that ship has sailed. She should be honest with you in that regard. If she’s gone, she’s gone.
Last, but not least, get help.
This post was edited on 6/16/23 at 4:38 pm
Posted on 6/16/23 at 4:35 pm to tilthatday
quote:
First of all, realize that half the population is divorced.
Posted on 6/16/23 at 4:53 pm to SuperSaint
Certainly didn't mean for that to be taken literally or as an accurate statistic. It was to emphasize that heartbreak is pretty much a universal experience. Certainly at least half the population is divorced or has broken up with their first love, true love, special sweetheart or significant other. And don't mention how many couples, married or otherwise, are together but unhappy. So, just hyperbole; exaggeration for emphasis.
Sorry if it was confusing
Sorry if it was confusing
This post was edited on 6/16/23 at 4:54 pm
Posted on 6/16/23 at 5:11 pm to tilthatday
quote:he should probably get the help he needs before he even starts to think about seeing someone else
. It sounds cold, but you might be better off starting over with someone else
Posted on 6/16/23 at 6:05 pm to GreenRockTiger
(no message)
This post was edited on 7/12/23 at 9:42 am
Posted on 6/16/23 at 6:10 pm to LaLadyinTx
(no message)
This post was edited on 7/12/23 at 9:42 am
Posted on 6/16/23 at 6:16 pm to TexasTiger08
I have. Married 13 years and dated 5 before that. Met when I was 19 and she was 17 so I was with her for about half of my life. We were just too different and ended up being miserable when stress of life and kids were added. We divorced about 4 years ago. Did everything on out own out of court with no lawyers. We remain good friends for the kids and she just got remarried. I get along with the new husband and as long as he’s good to her and the kids I’m great. I hate not being with my kids every day but they at least don’t have to grow up with parents that are miserable with each other and think that’s normal.
Posted on 6/16/23 at 6:19 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:that’s good you are addressing the problem - it’s good your wife went too
From what I discussed today, I would be a binge drinker
Posted on 6/16/23 at 7:22 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
TexasTiger08
Curious your age range OP? I’m in my late 30s. If I missed an event now due to drugs or alcohol id be very frowned upon. I know of multiple friends that had similar events in our younger years and that’s not necessarily alarming in itself.
I’m by no means trying to justify it. I’m simply pointing out life aint fricking easy. Shite happens. Don’t shite on your life over a couple of bad days.
Work on yourself. Have some long and short term goals on who you want to be. Then like I said, try and date your wife. Don’t treat her like a roomate or the woman that’s just around. I think if you do both of those things in the short term, and look hard at your life in the long term you’ll be alright.
Don’t get more down on yourself then you need to be. Tomorrow is a new day.
This post was edited on 6/16/23 at 7:23 pm
Posted on 6/16/23 at 8:10 pm to baldona
Been through two.
1st marriage lasted 4 years and I left her.
2nd marriage lasted 5 years and she left me.
Boy o Boy. I didn't think I survive for a few months early in 2011. I was a total mess.
Then On this very night in June 2011, I met a nice young lady with a big ole smile and heart of gold.
12 yrs later we're on the couch watching Florida and Virginia play baseball tonight. I couldn't be happier.
Hang in there and shite will get better.
1st marriage lasted 4 years and I left her.
2nd marriage lasted 5 years and she left me.
Boy o Boy. I didn't think I survive for a few months early in 2011. I was a total mess.
Then On this very night in June 2011, I met a nice young lady with a big ole smile and heart of gold.
12 yrs later we're on the couch watching Florida and Virginia play baseball tonight. I couldn't be happier.
Hang in there and shite will get better.
Posted on 6/16/23 at 10:02 pm to baldona
(no message)
This post was edited on 7/12/23 at 9:43 am
Posted on 6/16/23 at 10:15 pm to IceCase
quote:
Honey, if you didn't want to go to the wedding you should have just said so. Hold your head up and stand up tall. This too shall pass.
Are... are you the wife in question?
Posted on 6/16/23 at 10:44 pm to TexasTiger08
I went through as ideal a situation for a divorce as you can have ((short marriage, no kids, no real assets) and I still wouldn’t recommend it. Worst experience of my life.
Posted on 6/16/23 at 10:49 pm to TexasTiger08
frick women.
Posted on 6/16/23 at 11:50 pm to TexasTiger08
I went through this. Be honest with yourself and what you want. Really honest. Then be honest with your wife. I did and am having the time of our lives. If she doesn't respond then move on. If she loves you then it will work out.
Posted on 6/16/23 at 11:53 pm to Patfic15
quote:well yeah, that's the only reason we marry them right?
frick women.
Posted on 6/17/23 at 12:10 am to Shexter
Are you from a small family? In big Catlick families, there’s all kinds of divorced relatives.
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