re: .

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Never married. Never engaged.

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its been legal for you people for a while now

The whole “trying for kids” coupled with her advancing age and the short duration of the marriage make me wonder if she’s viewing you through the lens of an unfit father and potentially wanting to cut her losses.

Either that, or your episodes gave her enough “reason” to cash out guilt free from a marriage that never fulfilled her expectations, which her own broken home may have contributed to.

Either one (or both) of those sound like possibilities?

Hmmm.
Through sickness and in health doesn’t apply to women.

You can bet your arse she’d expect were the tables turned.

(no message)

First off.. Stop blaming yourself... Do not let circumstance, fate or God's will become your personal burden to carry.

Things happen, people change. Especially with women...

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From what we know the OP isn’t an alcoholic he’s just a jackass drinker. I’ve done some dumbass things drinking too.

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yeah, me too... before i was actually legal to drink.

if you're a grown adult having any sort of notable incidents due to drinking, you almost certainly need to quit. some people can't handle their booze and OP seems like one of them. maybe you get one free pass because sometimes liquor can sneak up on you if you're not a big drinker, but other than that, it's definitely a problem.

i genuinely feel bad for people who can't casually knock back 5 or so drinks on occasion without starting problems.

Does a man good to cut loose once in a while, but can't let it get too far out of hand. Most of the time women will use something like that as an excuse to not tell the real truth of why they want to leave and start over. Bottom line, even if this man is an alcoholic a hole, she made a vow to God to love him in sickness and health. Not cut tail and run when it gets hard.

(no message)

How long have y’all been married?

Been divorced since 2017. She filed. I wanted to work things out in the hopes that we could salvage our marriage especially since we had young kids (5 and 7 years old at the time). Nothing happened to my knowledge that would have prevented us from trying to get back to a healthy relationship. She wanted out and had no interest in reconciling. Everything was my fault and I was the only one who needed counseling. Hindsight, she was probably cheating on me.

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I’m just afraid I’ve failed.

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Obviously, I have no insight into your particular situation, but I feel confident in the fact that it likely took the both of you to get to this point and it will take both of you to get the train back on the track. If that’s what you both want, there’s no reason why the two of you can’t fix this, almost regardless of the situation. Abuse of some kind is a situation that shouldn’t be accepted.

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We’ve been faithful to each other.

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I mean this with all due respect, but how can you be certain of this with her? Unless there’s something you’re not sharing, it doesn’t sound like she has a real good reason for wanting to divorce. Women are great at projecting or making us feel like we are the problem. In reality they just don’t want to work at difficult things.