re: Those of you who married money, tell me how this works...

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The only problem is my wife has no concept of money.

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This is the issue I had with the girl I briefly dated. She would always offer to pay for things, and started doing it without asking when I declined, but I could tell we would never be on the same page with spending/savings regardless of how much money I made. Not the reason we didn't work out, but it was definitely something I thought about for the future.

Also, did you feel weird getting a free house? Even if I 100% knew there were no strings attached, I feel like I'd always feel guilty and always feel pressured to make up for it to them. But both my parents grew up dirt poor so I likely have a jaded viewpoint on it

Trust pays dividends annually

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The cold hard truth.

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Yep. Word of advice to the young studs on the OT who want to marry a rich girl: make sure you’ve got a great income of your own before you do. Wait to finish school. Don’t marry her if you’re still at the bottom of the ladder. You need to, yourself, be able to give her at least a solid middle class lifestyle. You need to set aside money so that when the family calls and invites her to the annual beach trip, cousin’s wedding, ski vacation, etc., the two of you can afford to go. If she starts having to turn those down or can only afford to go alone, the family WILL start talking, and not in a good way.

The same is true if after the first year and you don’t have kids yet, you don’t offer to host family for events (this is why they have to blow the budget on decorating). If the house is “never ready”, they start talking.

I divorced out of money. I never took $20 from her family because they were insufferable and would have held it over my head.

The only good memory I have with their $$ is that I got to hang with George and Barbara at a little party at their house in River Oaks. Her granddad was the only person I saw there address the former President as George.

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Here son here's some triple quilted tp and a two pack of old spice. Thank's for being such a great son-in-law!" Sounds weird... but I wouldn't be complaining.

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It’s really nice actually. One less thing to worry about.

Gotcha. I would have handled it the same way.

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I used to think it wouldn’t be enough for my wife until I realized she was gonna be rich no matter what

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Feel like that's the thing I'd have the hardest time with, but that's a great way to put it.

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generally, dad owns a business and puts little buffy on the payroll....only she forgets to come to work pretty much every day.

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Exactly how my wife is

Money can definitely cause havoc on family relationships.

I am fortunate that even though my in-laws lived an upper middle class lifestyle, they raised their daughters with actual values. On the flip side, my wife had the parent credit card all though college, didn't work a job in high school and definitely has expensive tastes just like her mother. She never had to worry about money before we were married.

We have made it work on a single income that is solidly middle class with a couple kids. It means she only goes to higher end clothing stores like Anthropologie on rare occasions or if her mom is in town and they go shopping. Furniture is often bought through Craigslist or Facebook groups, but what she gets is usually high end, in great shape and severely discounted. She does a pretty good job with the budget and finding deals, but she is far from a penny pincher.

You want to provide for your spouse, and it can be a letdown to feel like you are not hitting the mark compared with what they were used to... even if it is just something you wrestle with internally.

One difference I see between girls raised in upper middle class and wealthy families is that there is more focus on "doing what you love" even if it pays little to nothing. At some point I would love for the wife to go back to work once our youngest is in kindergarten, but she seems to be shooting too low or not concerned about targeting opportunities that will make better money despite her education and background.

The parents have given some gifts from time to time... recently they gave some money towards a vehicle. We never ask for anything, and always offer to pay for meals when they come. Honestly I much prefer my family's middle class arrangement. They may pay for a meal if we go out to eat, they cover the summer family vacation rental for the week and we get a couple hundred bucks at Christmas. I prefer that, and really wish we had not accepted anything more than that from the in laws.

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You pay for your own shite and let her old man cover her expenses. When it’s time to buy a house or go on vacation, have her bring it up to her mom, who then tells dad who then cuts the check.

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kind of like this. Kids tuition thru college is pretty much covered as well. Frees up a lot of my income to be more "disposable". Allows for larger down payments on a truck; more toys in the gun safe that she doesn't know about. Nice hunting lease near the in-law's lake house. I'm good with money and never ask them for anything. In the end they just want you to be a good husband and father and love their daughter.

Con: you lose your say on what those daddy-funded vacations are and that house. You just put your foot down and certain criteria and go with the flow after that.