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Started By
Message
re: The “never-stopping” lifestyle
Posted on 8/6/19 at 12:22 pm to RabidTiger
Posted on 8/6/19 at 12:22 pm to RabidTiger
quote:
The only thing I would suggest is to be an advocate for yourself because no one else is. Don't just say "yes" to everyone and everything. Obviously some things are going to be non negotiable but stuff like house work and spending time with your in laws are things that you have a say in.
This is pretty good advice. Saying yes to everyone just fills up a calendar. I hate how some jobs have bosses and coworkers that constantly ask you to do things. To them, it’s just one afternoon of extra work. Put together, it becomes too much.
Honestly, I’m at the point where I’m not bothered by saying no. I’m bothered by HAVING to say no. It’s a shame that people can be so disrespectful of other’s time.
1
Posted on 8/6/19 at 12:24 pm to Lawyered
quote:
For me, I enjoy being single and doing whatever I want with no other obligations... selfish but if that’s the Alternative like from the OP.. Hard pass
Not selfish at all! Selfish would be if you had a wife and kids and then made them suffer because you regretted your decision. After watching that play out with multiple friends, I’d say the selfless ones are the ones that are actually self-aware enough to know they need to avoid that situation altogether. Good for you
This post was edited on 8/6/19 at 2:29 pm
Posted on 8/6/19 at 12:26 pm to TexasTiger08
I’m 42, my wife is 45. We started early. Graduated my last of three in May. Life is great now. The other two are out of the house. We’re acting like 21 year olds again. Going where we want when we want and our private life is back on track! All my friends still have young kids and are in your “ OP” situation. It’ll get better!
Posted on 8/6/19 at 12:28 pm to Jon Ham
It’s being in your 30’s.
You begin to realize the things you lose as you age. I had a pretty rough patch of anxiety that I still deal with.
“Life comes at you fast....” When you are young that’s a cool Ferris Bueller quote. When you turn 30ish you realize a 30-40something year old man wrote that line, and wrote it for a reason.
You HAVE to find time for yourself.
You HAVE to talk to your wife about it. She has to understand what you are going through. Otherwise she may think you’re cheating.
You need a hobby. I found wood working and guitar playing very late in life (39-40).
Good luck. Realize you aren’t a bitch or crazy. Every man goes through some level of this. It’s the price you pay to have things in life you give a shite about.
You begin to realize the things you lose as you age. I had a pretty rough patch of anxiety that I still deal with.
“Life comes at you fast....” When you are young that’s a cool Ferris Bueller quote. When you turn 30ish you realize a 30-40something year old man wrote that line, and wrote it for a reason.
You HAVE to find time for yourself.
You HAVE to talk to your wife about it. She has to understand what you are going through. Otherwise she may think you’re cheating.
You need a hobby. I found wood working and guitar playing very late in life (39-40).
Good luck. Realize you aren’t a bitch or crazy. Every man goes through some level of this. It’s the price you pay to have things in life you give a shite about.
Posted on 8/6/19 at 12:38 pm to Grateful Reb
quote:
Not selfish at all! Selfish would be if you had a wife and kids and then made them suffer because you regretted your decision. After watching that play out with multiple friends, I’d say the selfless ones are the ones that are actually self aware enough to know they need to avoid that situation altogether. Good for you
Wish i could give this 50 green arrows.
Always cracks me up when people say, or suggest, that it’s selfish to *not* have kids.. they have no clue.. You cant be selfish towards something that doesnt exist.
.
This post was edited on 8/6/19 at 1:04 pm
Posted on 8/6/19 at 12:49 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
I’m 32, married, 1 kid, have a corporate white collar salaried job. It feels like I’m being squeezed from all angles. My work squeezes every ounce of mental energy I have and then some to keep up with the workload, often having to put in hours at home after I get the kid to sleep. My wife stays busy with a full time job and is involved in the community, so she’s often leaning on me to help with this or that in addition to my regular at-home responsibilities. In-laws want to get together all the time. If I can manage to find a couple hours to play 9 holes of golf, I know that’s 2 more hours of work/chores that I’m putting off for later. I get vacations, but just because I go on vacation the work doesn’t take a pause, it just accumulates and waits for me to get back. I love my family, I like my job as much as someone can like a job, and I’m not unhappy. I’m just wondering is this what adulthood is supposed to be? I’m basically just a cog in the machinery endlessly spinning to keep things working, my mental health, personal interests/goals, and relaxation be damned? I think this type of lifestyle is what often leads to divorce. People want their personal time back and want to have the sense that they are in control of their daily lives and aren’t simply just a cog in the machinery.
Not married and no kids. Been getting serious with the girlfriend and I am feeling overwhelmed. Think I prefer to be single and have minimal responsibility. Will read this entire thread
Posted on 8/6/19 at 12:51 pm to danilo
quote:
Think I prefer to be single and have minimal responsibility. Will read this entire thread
If you really are serious about someone, this wouldn't be much of an issue.
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:12 pm to Ssubba
quote:
This is the mentality that gave us skyrocketing suicide rates among adult men.
Oh FFS. Spending some time in the sand watching your friends get blown up in a shithole country is cause for suicide. Crying about the meaning of life and your 9-5 because you don't have a hobby is just more feminized millennial horseshite.
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:18 pm to DevilDagNS
You seem well adjusted
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:41 pm to Jon Ham
frickin A, brother!
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:44 pm to Jon Ham
You don’t have to live like that. Remember you always have a choice.
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:44 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
I’m just wondering is this what adulthood is supposed to be?
If you let the world tell you how you should be.
You live in a free country, which means you are free to dictate how you live.
You decided to get married. You decided to have kids. You decided to have a stressful job.
Life is about choices and you have chosen your path. However, you can still change that path. You just have to decide what is a priority to you.
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:45 pm to Jon Ham
Salary is important but it isn't the only thing. I used to work 80 hours per week and didn't have time for my family. Money was decent at just under six figures but I quit to work a slower paced job so I could be a father and husband at home. I gave up almost 20,000 per year but I am happier than I used to be and my family life is great now.
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:49 pm to Jon Ham
I'd look for a job that's more flexible and less demanding if the current one isn't fitting with the lifestyle you want.
Also, if your kid is super young and needy, he will demand less of your energy in some ways (changing diapers, feeding, making sure he doesn't fall into the toilet) but may require your time in others, like helping with homework or sports, which should be more rewarding.
Also, if your kid is super young and needy, he will demand less of your energy in some ways (changing diapers, feeding, making sure he doesn't fall into the toilet) but may require your time in others, like helping with homework or sports, which should be more rewarding.
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:50 pm to Jon Ham
I’m single, have a 5 minute commute and still feel that 40 hours a week is too much work
Posted on 8/6/19 at 1:56 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
I’m 32, married, 1 kid, have a corporate white collar salaried job. It feels like I’m being squeezed from all angles. My work squeezes every ounce of mental energy I have and then some to keep up with the workload, often having to put in hours at home after I get the kid to sleep.
I saw this coming in college and stopped it before it started. Started several businesses until one fit me just right. Now I’m in the 1%, but only work about half the year.
Posted on 8/6/19 at 2:33 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
Now I’m in the 1%, but only work about half the year
What do you do?
Posted on 8/6/19 at 3:49 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
Own a construction company
Oh yeah. You got that Mercedes yet?
Posted on 8/6/19 at 4:02 pm to danilo
Plan is to get one next year but I may jump on one before then if the right deal pops up. I also just discovered the Audi RS7 and watching those too, but I need to sit in one because I’m not sure it’s big enough. They can be tuned to 700 hp.
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