The informal taxonomy of giraffes is an affront to logic itself

The Bible tells us that drugs are bad because immediately after creating them, God sampled his product to excess and as a result whipped up his singular regrettable aesthetic of creation in the girAffe- which are clearly jacked horses with hilarious necks and coats inspired by the divine bong room's decorative tapestry God bought off craigslist.


Giraffes are clearly horses, yet their young are referred to as calves,and the adults as cows and bulls. How this glaring error can continue to stand for even one more day is beyond the limits of my designation and I pray that people wake up to this outrage of casual taxonomy.

I'll hang up and listen to what my fellow men of science and logic have to say on this outrageous matter