re: The Christmas blues are kicking in

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Guardian Ad Litem

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They call it an Amicus Attorney round here (I think they're similar). The fact that OPs daughter is breaking down probably means there needs to be an independent counselor, which can also be appointed during mediation, which is forced in Texas for an adjustment.

There is always hope, which I got some measure of a few months ago:

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All other child support provisions, other than father continuing to carry life insurance are terminated at this time.

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you need to have proof on paper that there isn’t depression or alcoholism.

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Is this a thing in GA? Pretty much not having a DUI, or spending $2k a month at Total Wine in TX is proof enough. Besides, every dude is depressed after a divorce. The ex wives are getting meat slung at them from the get go, and you're paying for the privilege.

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The fact that OPs daughter is breaking down probably means there needs to be an independent counselor, which can also be appointed during mediation, which is forced in Texas for an adjustment.

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What do you mean she’s breaking down? She’s fine, just sick. Am I missing something?

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As for alcoholism, do I just get a therapist to sign off?

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Any of the men here could probably tell stories about mimosa brunches that our wives would go to right before they got in the school pickup line, and the mediator isn't going to care. If any threats about alcoholism come around from the ex-spouse, that's not actually proof until they start showing documentation of your arrests, you having to go to the ER because you got trashed and ate shite in the driveway, etc.

When you take her back to court (you have to,) her attorney will ask for all kinds of stuff that you don't necessarily have any duty to provide. My ex-wife's attorney asked for my checking account statements going back to a time period when we were still f@#&*ing married, as an example. I just used the boilerplate my lawyer gave me, which essentially said it was a burdensome and immaterial request.

Also, since it's a concrete step you can take now, that's cheap, take an online co-parenting class. Harris county approved "putting kids first," so my lawyer had me take that before we went into mediation. It's mind numbing drek, but I think it was 50 or 60 bucks and shows you're trying. Being proactive with the therapist I mentioned earlier will help you in the impression with a judge.

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You got to pay less than 20% in child support?

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It's a temporary restraining order that cut out the $7k a year I was paying for half the kid's activities, (yes, ex wife was spending $15k a year, mostly on dance) among other things. It got me back control of my streaming accounts, and whatnot.

Essentially, the mediation judge removed everything from my original divorce settlement except for the child support the state forcibly garnishes (I won't tell you what I pay, but it's more than 20% and would cause excessive depression, but I agreed to it, so I'm stuck with it for ten more months.)

The other thing a mediator will likely force you into is using an approved app (Our Family Wizard) for all scheduling and coparenting stuff. It creates a useful record of how often you log in, how many times you asked to see the kids and were refused, etc. It is far better than taking hundreds of screenshots of text messages. Make no mistake, you are the bad dad, and that's getting repeated to your offspring by mom. Kids aren't stupid, and when you eventually tell them in their 20s what you had to go through to be a real parent, they'll respect you for it. Otherwise it's just misery.

I gotcha. Yeah, I'm not paying much more than the 20%. She's only 9 months old, so there haven't been activities or anything like that to worry about yet.

It's my understanding everything I agreed to was standard in this state. I pay 20% for child support. It just sucks that I'm stuck paying mortgage and bills on one income instead of two. Throw in the child support, and I'm not living large these days.

She started seeing my friend behind my back, and everything came out when she was pregnant with our child. Yes, DNA confirmed.

My visitation and child support comes straight from the AG office. I was told that to get a lesser child support amount would require her to agree, which she did not.

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Sounds like she and her attorney used intimidation and guilt tactics on you and you succumb. I’d get back in court asap with a better attorney.

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What do you think I could get out of it? The state sort of set everything I have currently. I don't see how I pay less than the 20%.

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I don’t have the best relationship with my sisters. We love each other, but we may communicate once a month. They claim they want a better relationship with me, but their actions say otherwise.

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1. Whatever you do, do not take advice from that Lemmy guy. He’s a certified nut job and it’s going to make you worse off

2. You need to take a hard look in the mirror. You come on here and post how everything is everybody else’s fault or how it was just convenient for other people to conspire against you. Take some responsibility for your actions. It’s the old saying that If you run into an a-hole in the morning, you ran into an a-hole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the a-hole.

I’m not trying to be a dickhead but I can tell you for sure what isn’t going to work, you changing nothing and complaining about it

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You need to take a hard look in the mirror. You come on here and post how everything is everybody else’s fault or how it was just convenient for other people to conspire against you. Take some responsibility for your actions. It’s the old saying that If you run into an a-hole in the morning, you ran into an a-hole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the a-hole.

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You aren't wrong, but this is really the only issue where I am blaming someone else. Granted, my wife sneaking around behind my back is a big deal. I wasn't perfect, but my issues didn't warrant the treatment I got from her. If I was so bad, why was she still sleeping with me and getting pregnant? She just wanted some strange. The red flag was that this sort of thing runs in her family.

Me being out of shape? That's my own damn fault.