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Message
Successful night at singles meet up
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:45 pm
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:45 pm
My bud asked me to go to a singles meetup thing with him last night. I don’t usually do lame shite like that, but he said he would go on a strip club crawl with me this weekend if I went so I agreed.
I’m always prepared and have a plan. My plan for this was to scope out the talent and zero in on my target. So when we got there I first just took laps around the bar while playing FarmVille on my phone, but really I was investigating. I spotted a very fit professional looking woman sipping an orange juice, the only person without an alcoholic beverage in hand. That was my “in.”
I went to the bar and traded my bud light platinum for a glass of milk, then I went up to my target and said “being around all these alchy’s is depressing isn’t it?” She looked at my milk, and was like “I’m drinking vodka. This is a screwdriver” and gave me a big smile. Score.
I told her I was joking and that I had vodka in my milk too and took a big gulp to act like I was trying to get drunk. We really hit it off after that. Turns out she lives out of state and was in town on business travel. That sucks because she was really hot, but I got her email so the night was a success in the end.
Cherry on top - made a new friend with the bartender. We saw Solo later that night. As usual my bud didn’t have quite the luck. He said he has “dinner plans” with some chick he met lol... Have fun paying for some chick’s dinner.
I’m always prepared and have a plan. My plan for this was to scope out the talent and zero in on my target. So when we got there I first just took laps around the bar while playing FarmVille on my phone, but really I was investigating. I spotted a very fit professional looking woman sipping an orange juice, the only person without an alcoholic beverage in hand. That was my “in.”
I went to the bar and traded my bud light platinum for a glass of milk, then I went up to my target and said “being around all these alchy’s is depressing isn’t it?” She looked at my milk, and was like “I’m drinking vodka. This is a screwdriver” and gave me a big smile. Score.
I told her I was joking and that I had vodka in my milk too and took a big gulp to act like I was trying to get drunk. We really hit it off after that. Turns out she lives out of state and was in town on business travel. That sucks because she was really hot, but I got her email so the night was a success in the end.
Cherry on top - made a new friend with the bartender. We saw Solo later that night. As usual my bud didn’t have quite the luck. He said he has “dinner plans” with some chick he met lol... Have fun paying for some chick’s dinner.
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:47 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
singles meet up
quote:
My bud
Congrats on the new boyfriend
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:49 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
I went to the bar and traded my bud light platinum for a glass of milk
quote:
traded my bud light platinum for a glass of milk
quote:
glass of milk
..?
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:49 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
but I got her email so the night was a success in the end.
You idiot, go rope your mule again and give up.
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:51 pm to Jon Ham
moral of the story
you didn't have sex
should have stayed at home got drunk and rubbed one out
you didn't have sex
should have stayed at home got drunk and rubbed one out
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:51 pm to Jon Ham
You're just the coolest dude......ever.
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:51 pm to DavidTheGnome
quote:
glass of milk
Like you are Marty McFly? Who the frick orders a milk at a bar? Then he says it has vodka in it?
CSB
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:52 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
but I got her email
No cellphone
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:52 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
the only person without an alcoholic beverage in hand. That was my “in.”
You’re doing this all wrong. Usually women with an alcoholic beverage in hand helps my dick get “in”
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:52 pm to Jon Ham
frick you for this. Nothing more, nothing less.
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:53 pm to Jon Ham
I bet this was alot funnier in your head.
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:54 pm to Triple Bogey
quote:
Like you are Marty McFly? Who the frick orders a milk at a bar?
The McPoyles
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:55 pm to Jon Ham
Where do you come up with this shite?
Posted on 5/30/18 at 7:56 pm to Jon Ham
quote:
Cherry on top - made a new friend with the bartender. We saw Solo later that night. As usual my bud didn’t have quite the luck. He said he has “dinner plans” with some chick he met lol... Have fun paying for some chick’s dinner.
For the past three months my friends have been criticizing Solo as a gay movie. I kept trying to defend it but after reading this post, it's safe to say this is the straw that broke the camel's back.
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