South Carolina Man Calls 911 Because Girlfriend Wont Give him Any

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According to The Smoking Gun, a 53-year-old Spartanburg man's girlfriend refused to have sex with him Tuesday morning, so he decided to call 911 to complain about it.

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When police arrived on the scene, they found Patrick Doggett standing outside his residence and sipping on an "alcoholic beverage." Doggett allegedly told them he called 911 "because his girlfriend, Ms. Fay Woodruff, would not give him any arse." He also got in a "F--k that bitch" just for good measure.

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The cops then interviewed Woodruff, and she told them Doggett climbed into bed with her after he had been drinking all day and wanted to get his hump on despite the fact that her grandchild was also in the bed.

After talking with both parties, the officers decided to arrest Doggett for public intoxication but not misuse of the 911 system. He was so hammered that he had to be placed in a holding cell, so much so that he was still there well into the afternoon and probably still not getting any arse.

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