Question for parents of older teens

Like you

I don't really care if the friends like me but they usually like me because I am pretty laid back. I surf, play video games, watch football alot but don't cross the line and I am a good dad and easy going father. Now my when it comes to my 17 year old daughter they(the bf) better fear me. Problem I have now is my daughter's bf is 6'3 210 lbs so he just better respect me and my daughter

Sorry no pics of daughter

I have a 17 and 15 year old. I don't really care if their friends like me, but I wouldnt necessarily want them to fear me. It's more important to me that I have an open and honest relationship with my kids and that they understand and respect the decisions I make and rules we have. I have no problem explaining to them why I decide the things I do and why the rules of our house are important. To their credit, if they disagree or don't understand they are willing to talk about it in a respectful and understanding way. They also know that I am open to their opinions and am not completely closed minded and that I have reasoning behind every rule or decision I make and that my priority is keeping them as safe as possible even if it's doesn't make them the most popular kids in high school. Yes, they have missed out on a few parties or events.

I think the way they feel about me and interact with me ultimately informs the opinions of their friends.

Edited to add: damn wall of text, nb4 TLDR. Also both girls, no pics.

Be even keeled, fair and consistent. That's all you need to be.

Depends on your kids friends. Just finished that stage with my three kids.
If your kid has good friends that are supportive and drama free then you give them positive feelings and have them like you.
However your kid has jerks for friends then have have them fear you.
The main thing is don't embarrass yourself and try to act their age. Make them respect you.

There is an acceptable middle ground.
Fear implies domination.
Like can imply being a pushover.

"We let our son and his friends drink, smoke, do whatever they want."

"We're the cool parents."

Don't care if they like me but I don't want them fearing me... I would want them to feel that I would be a good option to call if they/ my daughters are in a bad situation needing some help... even if they weren't suppose to be near that situation.

My daughters aren't teens anymore, and haven't been for some years.

Fear is only a tool if they respect the threat.

Don't clean guns, sharpen swords. Not the stupid samurai swords they see in tv or the movies. Get a half and a half bastard blade.

4 pounds of pain, the trick is to convince them you'll use it on them given half an excuse.

Helps when you're dead serious about it.

Your premise is faulty in seeming to pose the options of "like" or "fear" as the only two possible choices, and that each choice would exclude the other. But I will answer nevertheless. Since the question is not about my kid but about my "kid's friends" I would choose "like" because some of her friends grew up to be quite gorgeous (magazine covergirls) and are fun to hang out with.