re: Question for fathers of the OT

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Its not the same as saying he regrets his own children although it may come off that way.

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Pretty clear to me that if he had it to do over again, he would have avoided having children. I'd be devastated.

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if he had it to do over again, he would have avoided having children

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Maybe. Maybe not. He definitely chose to on two occasions. And i think he probably would if he could do it again. But if not, then I wouldnt hate him for saying that. Some people choose not to and that is their own [decision. I dont hate on anyone who chooses not to have children.

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patients

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Your old man a doctor baw?

Tiger Ryno

Man, I've got a 15,11,2, and a 7 week old and it's hard as hell, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Any free time I've had the last 3 weekends has been dedicated to building a playhouse for my 11 and 2 y.o girls. Just got my 15 y.o. his drivers permit and opened his first checking/savings account today and my 7 week old permits me to sleep roughly 4 hours a night. Everyone of them has gotten me sick, vomited/pissed/shite on me at some point, caused me sleepless nights, and has completely stressed me out and never once have I thought....I wish I hadn't.

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If my father told me to have a hysterectomy at 18 and freeze my eggs

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Ok good now i can disqualify your comment. Thanks for your concern though.

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Ok good now i can disqualify your comment. Thanks for your concern though.

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First of all, you don't like my comments. Second, I understand why your father said all he said, now. Makes sense.

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you don't like my comments

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Youre DQed because I specifically adressed this to fathers of the OT. I did not want a bunch of estrogen up in this thread. But in typical woman fashion, you thought your two cents mattered.

your dad sounds like a real peach

It depends on you and what you want. Can you be committed to being a responsible father to children? Are you at a maturity level to where you are willing to sacrifice a good bit of your "old ways." Fatherhood requires a lot of compromise. Are you ready to forego the freedom of coming and going and doing whatever you want to do at any time? Because if the answer is no, then you don't need to be a father yet. Don't make the poor judgement of thinking you will become a father (assuming you are married) and life goes on as before. A lot of young men become a father and selfishly believe that their lifestyle does not have to change one bit. They have a hard time seeing the issue that almost always arises between a husband and wife when they refuse to evolve as an adult along with the new responsibility.

Why can't I still go out with my buddies on the weekends? Why can't I take weekends away for hunting or fishing or away game weekend trips without my wife getting bent? Why do I have to stay home with the wife and kids on Saturday instead of fishing half the day for this so called quality time thing? Why do I need to go to watch my 5 year olds dance routine at some local festival and miss the 1st quarter of the game?

These are just a few examples of issues that cause stress in a marriage when the father only entered fatherhood as a 'thing.' We are all subject to it to varying degrees. The ones who fail miserably are those who never understand exactly what they were getting into and refuse to sacrifice portions and parts of their old lifestyle in exchange for the responsibility. They usually end up divorced and bitter wondering how their family broke apart and blaming everyone but themselves.

Wait to become a father until you know for a fact that you are 100% all in for the responsibility. I have 4 kids under 16 and had my first at age 30. I still wasn't ready and if not for a loving and patient wife we would have been divorced after the first child was 4 based on my selfishness. I have a buddy who is 40 and lived the life of Riley and did not get married until 38. I gave him the same advice for years. He told me she wanted a child right after they got married and I asked him if he was ready for a major lifestyle change and that no matter what he thought his wife was going to expect him to put fatherhood over his country club golf membership (club champion 7 years running) weekend away game trips, monthly fishing trips, etc..

There boy just turned one and all he had to say when I spoke with him recently was "damn, you were not exaggerating."

Children are a blessing and awesome but you have to be mentally ready to enter that life. Not that I think your dad doesn't love you but he seems to have regrets of missing out on the freedoms he had prior to having children. He probably thinks you might have the same regrets when you are older and is encouraging you to just live your life for you.