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re: Please pray for us

Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:04 pm to
Posted by HoustonChick86
Catalina Wine Mixer
Member since Dec 2009
59085 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:04 pm to
quote:

I feel my father was waiting for me and when I got there and started to talk to him I knew he could hear me and then he felt it was ok to let go.

I 100% think things like this are true.

When my father passed, we hadn't seen him in a few years (long story), but had made amends. Saw him that morning, heard the doctor say you'll be feeling better in a few more weeks of this chemo and that'd he'd be out of the hospital tomorrow so we could celebrate Thanksgiving. I very much believe he didn't want to fight anymore, but wanted to see my husband and I before letting go.

With my mother, she didn't want me there when she passed. She was in hospice care for 3 weeks. So, I waited until the nurse gave her a bath and changed her clothes and then said my final goodbye, she was not conscious at this point. She passed the next day, so I do also think she waited for me to leave. It wasn't easy to walk out of the room, but she also told several people she didn't want me there so I felt it was only right to respect her wishes. She also said she was going to wait until her brother made it so that she could make sure he could take care of me. I'm 34 and completely capable of taking care of myself, but she just said she needed to know someone would always be there if I needed anything. The hardest part of her hospice is she was ready to go. Her mind was gone but her body held on longer than any of us wanted.
Posted by Uncs
Member since Aug 2008
3080 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:08 pm to
It won't get worse for him! He is going to a better place and you have to find peace with his wishes. Dialysis is a brutal life style. 3-4 times a week 4-5 hours a day just to stay alive. Its more a mental struggle than anything. I watched my father take his last breath.

Think about all the great things that you got to enjoy with your father.

God bless you
Posted by HoustonChick86
Catalina Wine Mixer
Member since Dec 2009
59085 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:12 pm to
Did you father live in Las Vegas? That is where my mom lived so maybe it was the same book.
Posted by Erebus
Member since Jan 2019
574 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:16 pm to
Prayers for you & your family. God bless.
Posted by mattz1122
Member since Oct 2007
55330 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:26 pm to
My dad essentially did the same thing. All you can do is try to understand his physical pain and mental anguish caused by his ailments--his reasons for doing this--while cherishing your final moments with him. I too wanted to keep my dad around at all costs, but in hindsight, I see that it was selfish given his situation (not referring to your situation bc they're all different).

Like a previous poster alluded to, he gets to take control of a helpless situation and go out on his terms. At some point, you'll look back and appreciate that. But it's absolutely difficult as shite for the children.
Posted by TigerAlum93
Member since Sep 2010
3210 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:27 pm to
Prayers sent.
Posted by Weaver
Madisonville, LA
Member since Nov 2005
28002 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:28 pm to
quote:

GeauxLSUGRL


Been there done that. My mom was dying from cancer but went on hospice in March of 08. She passed away on May 24. Luckily I was there for the last few weeks of her life. It was good to spend that time but also very painful.

Same for my grandmaw. She was sent home and seemed to be fine but then took a turn for the worse and was bedridden. In three weeks she was gone.

My grandpaw the same. Was bedridden but he passed away at the hospital. His brain was gone long before his body went away, so that was the hardest to deal with cause it was like I was talking to a different person.

Prayers to your family.
Posted by When in Rome
Telegraph Road
Member since Jan 2011
36145 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:31 pm to
Prayers for your family. When my grandmother elected to go off of dialysis, we wheeled her around the French quarter, listened to live music, ate beignets, got a lucky dog, basically did all of the typical touristy stuff one last time. It was beautiful but heartbreaking knowing that that was the last time she would enjoy those things. Her death hit our family very hard, as she lived with us my entire life and was like a third parent. All you can do is treasure those last few memories, and be sure to say what you need to say to be at peace. And back up any pictures or videos or voicemails you have with that person, because one day you will want to look back, and you’ll be glad you have them. I truly wish you the best during this difficult time.
This post was edited on 8/7/20 at 12:33 pm
Posted by Gris Gris
OTIS!NO RULES FOR SAUCES ON STEAK!!
Member since Feb 2008
49636 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:39 pm to
I wish you all as much strength, peace and comfort as you can possibly have during this time and after. I held my Daddy as he took his last breath a little over a year ago. It was so hard and I don't know how I managed to prevent the ugly cry as he was leaving. I was able to tell him how much we all loved him and that we would be okay, so it was okay for him to go. He'd given us all the tools we needed to keep going.

Tell your Daddy everything you want to tell him. Record him talking to you. It may be a long time before you can watch or listen, but later on, you'll be glad you have it.

I hope your Daddy's journey is peaceful and comfortable. Hold his hand so he knows you are there.
Posted by AmosMosesAndTwins
Lake Charles
Member since Apr 2010
19013 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:42 pm to
I will tell you this: he’s got one hell of a daughter and he knows it.

My heart goes out to you and your family.
Posted by HoustonChick86
Catalina Wine Mixer
Member since Dec 2009
59085 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:44 pm to
This is something I read a decent amount when thinking of loss. Hope it helps someone out there.

Posted by FLObserver
Jacksonville
Member since Nov 2005
15714 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:46 pm to
Your dad is going out on his own terms. Nothing wrong with wanting to die at home with friends and family around instead of in a hospital mostly alone especially with covid protocol now. Sorry OP enjoy and spend as much time as possible with him and little advice maybe record a few sessions with him speaking to you as others have mentioned.I wish i had did that with my grandma. I miss hearing her voice. That will give you comfort when you need to hear his voice when he's moved on.
This post was edited on 8/7/20 at 12:49 pm
Posted by S1C EM
Athens, GA
Member since Nov 2007
11594 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 12:51 pm to
Say what you need to say. You are right that it is a blessing to have this opportunity. Leave nothing on the table.

Godspeed.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
119867 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 1:00 pm to
It's tough losing your dad, but at least he is able to go out the way he wants. As difficult as it is, try to look at it as a celebration of his life instead of preparing for death.
Posted by oleheat
Sportsman's Paradise
Member since Mar 2007
14471 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 1:00 pm to
I'm so sorry. It's a terribly sad thing to experience. I know it's tough, but be strong and try to focus on the good times. He is blessed to have a daughter like you.

Sincere prayers of peace for your family in this most difficult time....
Posted by SFVtiger
Member since Oct 2003
4434 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 1:19 pm to
lost my dad in December. he had dementia for the past 5 years or so and i was so thankful for the 100s of times i got to hug him. Hospice is wonderful. When the end was obvious i slept at his bedside on the floor. In the middle of the night i heard the difference in his breathing and got to hold his hand and talk to him as he passed. an ambiguous grief. I wish you the same feelings i had. and i do pray often and will add you to my list.
Posted by Swamproot
Member since Oct 2017
339 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 1:20 pm to
We come into this world with absolutely nothing and fighting to take our first breath and we leave this world fighting to take our last breath...But we loved and we are loved.
I miss my mom and dad every day..
Posted by Epaminondas
The Boot
Member since Jul 2020
5750 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 1:27 pm to
My dad died recently. It's tough. My prayers are with you.
Posted by LSUfanatic
25 miles from Death Valley
Member since Nov 2003
9678 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 1:32 pm to
Prayers lifted for a peaceful transition to eternity with our heavenly Father. Also, peace and comfort to you and your family.
Posted by Tiger in the Sticks
Back in the Boot
Member since Jan 2007
1725 posts
Posted on 8/7/20 at 1:33 pm to
It’s so painful to go through this, but very unselfish. This is your last and biggest gift to your daddy, so I hope that’s giving you a measure of peace. Praying for grace and peace for you and your family. I hope the hospice staff are as wonderful as my mom’s were-they truly made a difference for me.
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