re: People who choose to not have kids

Sounds like you married into the right family.

The thought of raising a family on my current salary makes me ill, so it will be a long while before I even consider having kids. And a huge % of people do it on less than what I make .

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I can understand the differences between a good parent and a bad parent. And if we agree that bad parents exist, then it stands to reason that having a child does not make one an expert on parenting. So what makes one a good parent, if not having a child?

Advice on parenting is either good or bad. The source is irrelevant. If I take my advice and make my mother offer it to you, will it then be good advice?

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Look, I used to think like this, then I had a kid



There are some things you simply can't make an informed suggestion on, but you think you can


Certain things are obvious though and having a kid has no bearing on being informed

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I will say this. If you think there is a chance yall will decide on kids later on....consider getting some tests done now to see where you stand fertility wise. Many fertility doctors offer this kind of testing to couples that aren't ready to have kids yet...but just want to make sure they won't have trouble when they are ready.


You take for granted that you can just have kids when you want. I would have made different choices if I knew then what I know now.

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This is good advice. Thanks

We don't have kids because I don't even like wiping my own arse. Plus do you know how much extra money we have. The fact that you think something is "off" about people who decide not to have kids makes me wonder why you care so much about it. It's just a little weird.

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Check fricking mate

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Not really


Can one way, "You shouldnt beat your kid, that is bad" without having a kid? Yes


Can one say, "you shouldnt feed them candy after 8" or "you shouldnt let them hold your phone" etc etc without any knowledge? That is what will piss a parent off


I had so many things I fricking knew I would do, and would tell my older sisters who had kids......


I didnt have a fricking clue

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well she's pretty awesome and shares all the same interests as me so I'd prefer that over an empty house on the week days and chasing divorced women at bars on the weekends

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Some people realize they would not be good parents and love their future kids enough to not have them.

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This pretty much sums up me. I thoroughly enjoy keeping my nieces and nephews. So much so that I'm realizing that its my most favorite thing I look forward to.

But I have no business having children of my own. Not financially stable being the biggest reason. No way I'm watching my kids grow up not having the things other kids have.

Also am terrified of having to live through a child dying. Seems like I know of too many parents who have lost a kid. It is just a living hell that I want no part of.

My selfish side is also afraid of having a disabled child and I have to care for it until I die. Not to mention the financial burden and mental stress of seeing your kid not be like other and miss out on all the activities I enjoyed so much as a child. The few people I know that have a disabled child have their lives completely consumed with its care. Money is tight so no vacations, relationship with spouse gets stressed and they grow apart but divorce isn't a good option because of the kid so they just muck it out.

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Can one say, "you shouldnt feed them candy after 8" or "you shouldnt let them hold your phone" etc etc without any knowledge?

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Why not? If empirical evidence supports your point, why should parental experience trump it?

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Also am terrified of having to live through a child dying. Seems like I know of too many parents who have lost a kid. It is just a living hell that I want no part of.

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This is the only thing I really don't like about being a parent. That fear is always in the back of your mind.

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Why not? If empirical evidence supports your point, why should parental experience trump it?

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Bless your heart, please check in when your little one is born


Sometimes the "right" decision is simply not an everyday practical one

And that is something I learned, and you will too