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re: Parents making uninvited trip to visit , i’m swamped at work this month

Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:12 am to
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
Member since May 2012
59142 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:12 am to
When I was in this position, my parents would have 100% just waited until October or November instead of saving like $300 on flights

Maybe op should Venmo them a couple hundred dollars because they’re either broke or rude
Posted by N2cars
Close by
Member since Feb 2008
38002 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:13 am to
When I was in my 30s and building my career and business, my Dad will always want to pop in and get a cup of coffee. (He was retired)

I was pretty busy and stressed and sometimes I just didn't make the time.

I lost him when I was 38 and I damn sure regret those missed opportunities.

Work will always be there, your parents won't.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
297212 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:13 am to
quote:


Zero surprise that Bison and BK Lounge have shitty relationships with their parents


Leftists seem to struggle with natural relationships.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
88873 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:13 am to
quote:

I lost him when I was 38 and I damn sure regret those missed opportunities.

Work will always be there, your parents won't.


Posted by N2cars
Close by
Member since Feb 2008
38002 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:17 am to
We know, don't we?
Posted by Thracken13
Aft Cargo Hold of Serenity
Member since Feb 2010
18561 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:20 am to
hopefully they didn't move the trip up due to bad news, like an illness or something. the last time we had a family member do that with us, they told us they had cancer - and wanted to sit down to tell us instead of over the phone.

I truly, truly hope it is not something bad, and they just wanted to see you.
Posted by Dixie2023
Member since Mar 2023
4642 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:20 am to
If you love them, just be thankful they want to visit. I don’t have parents who care. Well, one does, the other doesn’t. As I’ve gotten older and closer to retirement, I’ve come to realize work will always be there and my life and family come first. I would re-do this looking back vs always being worried about work. Assuming I’m doing my job well and not slacking. Always remember, you are nothing to your employer and will be replaced immediately if they no longer have use for you (meaning you are a quality employee, but budget cuts, new manager, merger, DEI, whatever) or you die.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
88873 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:23 am to
quote:

We know, don't we?


yes sir, I had a good friend that lost his dad at a fairly young age(dad was young,) we were having beers and he told me to never miss an opportunity to talk to, see, and tell your parents that you love them, I really didn't need prodding in that department but when I just nodded he put his hand on my shoulder and said "I mean that, you don'y know when they'll be gone!" both parents are long gone but I took that to heart, I was at work when my dad died but when my mom was getting near the end I said frick work and I was with her till her last breath, holding her hand
Posted by JohnnyKilroy
Cajun Navy Vice Admiral
Member since Oct 2012
40326 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:23 am to
quote:

When discussing a visit, I asked them to please hold off until late fall. They book the trip anyway ‘ bc tickets were cheaper’ and are coming this weekend.


They are the assholes here.
Posted by BHS78
Member since May 2017
3449 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:24 am to
Wtf, your parents need an invite. You are one self absorbed sob. I wish my parents could just drop in on me.
Posted by DomincDecoco
RIP Ronnie fights Thoth’s loafers
Member since Oct 2018
11693 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:26 am to
r/AITAH
Posted by JohnnyKilroy
Cajun Navy Vice Admiral
Member since Oct 2012
40326 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:33 am to
quote:

Yep.

Prioritizing working for the man over family is definitely how we take back society.



I wonder what all these "frick work, family is way more important" had to say in the maternity/paternity leave thread.
Posted by Mid Iowa Tiger
Undisclosed Secure Location
Member since Feb 2008
23889 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:33 am to
You are and aren’t an a-hole.

You sound a lot like my second son - he has his life and kind of likes being left alone. I try to do that, but from a dad’s perspective I’ll tell you I die a little inside each time I think about how little we communicate and how infrequently I see him and now my granddaughter.

It’s a tough spot, my only advice is try to look at it through love and see if there isn’t a way to salvage this weekend but also use the time to set some boundaries.
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
Member since May 2012
59142 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:33 am to
quote:

hopefully they didn't move the trip up due to bad news, like an illness or something
feels like there’s a good chance it’s something like this

Coming a couple months “early” because flights were cheaper? Doesn’t fully add up
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
88873 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:35 am to
quote:

feels like there’s a good chance it’s something like this

Coming a couple months “early” because flights were cheaper? Doesn’t fully add up


would be ironic if they were coming there to give him his inheritance early or present him with a new car or something
Posted by A Menace to Sobriety
Member since Jun 2018
32116 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:35 am to
quote:

Can someone tell me how much of an a-hole I am for feeling this way?


Without knowing the depth of your relationship with your parents, yes I do think you're being kind of an arse.

Work is work. Remember too that pretty much with any company you're just a number and they would get rid of you instantly when given a chance. Don't be obsessed with it and let it run your life, especially when it comes to family/parents. They won't be around forever so enjoy the time together.

A buddy of mine who lives in Denver tells me even though he loves it there, it's hard for him to make friends and no one from home really visits. Be thankful you have some people who want to come all the way out and visit you.
This post was edited on 9/5/24 at 9:50 am
Posted by LaLadyinTx
Cypress, TX
Member since Nov 2018
7133 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:36 am to
It's 2-3 days out of your life. It doesn't sound like you have real plans this weekend, but just want to chill. Sorry you don't like watching sports with them. Put on your big boy pants and get thru these few days. Then they will fly back to where they live and you'll be free again. A few days won't kill you and will give them a lot of joy.

Yes, they should have booked when you wanted them to come. But you are being an a-hole as well.
Posted by Northshoretiger87
Member since Apr 2016
4954 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:41 am to
“ But still am completed swamped at work.”

Yet still writing love letters in full on TD. Soy boy.
Posted by JohnnyKilroy
Cajun Navy Vice Admiral
Member since Oct 2012
40326 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:42 am to
I don't think we really have enough info to go on from OP.

He alludes to the fact that he is the black sheep of the family and has intentionally moved hundreds of miles away.

He may have already had quite a rocky relationship with his parents for years/decades and maybe this uninvited trip is just another item on the list of boundaries OP's parents have flaunted/ignored.

Pure speculation either way.


OP doesn't help his case when he says his plans for the weekend were getting drunk and watching sports on the couch though. Much easier case for him if he had solid plans for the weekend.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
85398 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:45 am to
He fricked himself with this line

quote:

I can’t help but feel resentful that instead of being able to get some overtime, or just get drunk and watch football this weekend
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