re: Other than a Lawyer or HR person who is someone I can talk to about Short Term Disability?

Just call your provider. It is an insurance policy you pay for. The will contact the doctor with your authorization. Real easy. I did it twice with surgery.

You probably would have had to have that as part of your benefits package. Then utilize it as you go out for a few weeks. Short term is pretty standard. You probably have it and don’t know it

I qualify for full disability but don't want to stop working. But it's tempting. My doctors keep telling me to slow down.
But I just push until I go to the hospital for a week or two then reset.

Do you have her power of attorney? Her HR may or may not talk to you about this kind of thing without it.

Good. That's the first thing. Again, I would suggest reading the policy very closely before contacting her employer.

I know you said you don't want a lawyer, but $500-1,000 for a couple hours consult may be worth it if she's really sick and you want to make sure it's all done right. These policies are pretty straightforward, but if you don't feel 100% comfortable after reading it, some things are worth outsourcing when you have so much going on.

It's also not the worst thing to go ahead and establish a legal relationship, if this could become a long-term thing and you expect issues with HR. Worst case is they hear your story and say you really don't need an attorney for this right now and then probably won't charge you for the initial.

Point being, no matter what, you want to have a confident opinion of how it works and what should be done before going to talk to them about it.

Source: former employer-side employment lawyer who does not trust HR staff to be competent and ethical. Also did a little insurance defense and don't trust them, either.

ETA: I am very sorry you are having to deal with this. I actually have some limited expert knowledge in this area, and I would still be totally freaked if my wife were seriously ill. I also hope for your and her sake this is not a government employer. They are the worst with HR stuff.

What is the elimination period on her STDI? It's either 30, 60 or 90 days. That will determine when she will be eligible to start recieving benefits if her disability qualifies

ChatGPT can steer you in the right direction. Seriously.

Correct, but like you said he just needs to know what the policy provisions are for his wife's policy

You don't have to take its advice and anyone who knows how to use it correctly would absolutely find information that will be useful. You have no fricking clue what you are talking about.