re: OT parents: what would you do if your kid brought home someone of another race?

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These types of statements are what makes these conversations so difficult. They don't really bring anything to the table.

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I was seeking clarification. Hence why I posed the question. Hence my usage of the word, "prefer."

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I'm quite sure if given the choice between a non-white partner for his kids with eternal happiness and a white partner who would bring about pain, pestilence and destruction, he would choose the former.

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That's all I was driving at. I think most reasonable folks are in that same boat.

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Got more important shite to worry about when it comes to relationships than playing matchy-matchy with melanin levels

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I wonder what role you being a black male affects your POV. In the U.S., black males are by far the most open to dating/marrying outside their race. Of course, historical patterns of discrimination and social standing have a lot to do with that.

The converse of that is that white women are the most reluctant to do so.

I wouldn't like it. I'm not racist. I'd just be worried about the kid casing the joint.

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Why does proliferation of this race or that race matter? It's not a competition

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Exactly... My pawpaw was known as a "good man" and his family was known as a good family.

My father is known as a good man and his family is a good fam.

Never once have they taught me to be a "good white man". But they stressed the importance of being a good man. My skin doesn't make me a good man, my actions do... Which is how I measure others, on their actions, not by their skin color, nor by the actions by others with the same skin color.

Yes, there are vast cultural differences. But I've found that when it comes s to being a good person, there are far more similarities than there are differences among the different cultures.

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Who cares if folks are happy together, though? Tribes and nations come and go.

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They certainly do, but surely you can understand a wish for it not to happen to your own?

This is one of the weird things about being white (or black, for that matter) in America compared to Europe or Africa. Because we are a propositional nation, and most people don't really know their stock beyond grandparents, we don't have the same kind of ethnic bonds or sense of collective that one might find elsewhere.

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I want legitimate diversity to be preserved - which will be hard to do in a quickly globalizing and cosmopolitan world

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The problem is that race is used to define diversity when it should have no bearing. Looking different provides no real diversity. I'm much more interested in preserving diversity of thought.

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surely you can understand a wish for it not to happen to your own?

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No. IDGAF about how many black people there are or are not in the coming decades/centuries. I care about my wife and my kids, and I want them to find happiness as they mature--whatever color gradient said happiness comes in.

Also, for the record, I have a problem when black people do the same thing from the opposite angle. It's a ridiculous thing to get hung up on, especially with all else being equal.

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Because we are a propositional nation, and most people don't really know their stock beyond grandparents, we don't have the same kind of ethnic bonds or sense of collective that one might find elsewhere.

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Gives us as a nation a much more eclectic pool to choose better mates, tbh. Whether that be with obvious differences in race/class/etc.

That's one of the reasons why we're great.

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I wonder what role you being a black male affects your POV.

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Not much. When I was a kid, I asked my dad (who is married to a black woman) if he'd have still married mom if everything were equal except she were white. He looked at me like I was fricking stupid for even asking and told me "yes" without hesitation.


For background, both of my parents grew up in the ghetto, dirt poor, and surrounded by racial lines. They both pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and became the first in their respective families to not only attend college, but also earn their degree(s) (my dad's working on his doctorate right now ). But they didn't allow skin color to define them or their views, and they passed that on to my siblings and me.

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IDGAF about how many black people there are or are not in the coming decades/centuries.

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well, a lot of white people do.