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theunknownknight
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2005
41313 posts
 Online 

Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
Image: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/68/Steven_Wright_1994.jpg/220px-Steven_Wright_1994.jpg


HEY STEVEN GET OFF YOUR CABOOSE AND BACK ON TRACK!

A guy with a stutter died in prison before he could finish his sentence.
This post was edited on 2/19 at 7:47 am


Lithium
South Alabama Fan
Member since Dec 2004
50628 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
A lot of stand up comedians have stopped performing because of the PC Climate and offending somebody


TulaneFan
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
Slidell, LA
Member since Jan 2008
6424 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
I liked him as “the guy on the couch” in Half Baked


Tigertracks
LSU Fan
Houma La.
Member since Nov 2007
707 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
"There is no gravity. the Earth sucks."

"It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it."


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90
tigerpimpbot
Jacksonville St. Fan
Johnsonville
Member since Nov 2011
52943 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.


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370
Topwater Trout
LSU Fan
Red Stick
Member since Oct 2010
57784 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
what's the speed of dark


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130
GeauxTigerTM
LSU Fan
Member since Sep 2006
17108 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
"Every where is walking distance if you have the time."

One of my favorites things of his is his DJ voice overs sprinkled throughout Reservoir Dogs.


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150
SCLibertarian
South Carolina Fan
Conway, South Carolina
Member since Aug 2013
12470 posts
 Online 

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!


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40
soccerfüt
Truth Detective
Member since May 2013
31017 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
When I was a baby, I kept a diary.

Recently, I was rereading it.

It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move.

Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot."
This post was edited on 2/19 at 8:20 am


JetsetNuggs
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
New Orleans
Member since Jun 2014
4810 posts
 Online 

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
Scarface: "Hey, The Guy, did you kill my dog?

The Guy: *sleepily waves hand*

Scarface: "Yo, I believe him B"


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90
MountainTiger
LSU Fan
The Duchy of Grand Fenwick
Member since Dec 2008
10515 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
Can't have everything. Where would you put it?


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70
cj35
LSU Fan
Member since Jan 2014
4460 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
quote:

Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
Definitely on board with this.


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60
soccerfüt
Truth Detective
Member since May 2013
31017 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
His timing was always so good.

"When I was a little kid we had a sand box.

It was a quicksand box.

I was an only child...


(pause...)

Eventually."


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261
MadDoggyStyle
Mississippi St. Fan
Member since Feb 2012
3857 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
What happens if you are traveling at the speed of light and you turn the lights on?


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80
Anonymous95
Member since Sep 2014
1144 posts
 Online 

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
“Went to the store and bought some powdered water....didn’t know what to add”


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170
udtiger
LSU Fan
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2006
53635 posts
 Online 

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
I have always thought of him as the Gary Larson (Far Side) of stand up comedians.


BRIllini07
Chicago Cubs Fan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Feb 2015
962 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight...


....the people who live above me are furious.


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180
HonoraryCoonass
LSU Fan
Member since Jan 2005
11593 posts

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.


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250
FLAK88
LSU Fan
Gonzales La.
Member since Jan 2015
492 posts
 Online 

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
I bought some batteries, they weren't included...so I had to buy them again...


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120
FLAK88
LSU Fan
Gonzales La.
Member since Jan 2015
492 posts
 Online 

re: Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Steven Wright


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