re: Need some advice from anyone who's been thru a divorce

Unfortunately you are royally fked. No way to sugar coat this one. The down and dirty is you will be a broke dick for at least the next 12 years (when your 11 year should be done with college). Aside from the child support, Cali really hammers dudes on alimony.

Luckily for you the worst case scenario is by year 2028 (when your child is done with college) you will be 50 years old with no retirement savings.

Id recommend the following: Ask your employer to reduce your salary and get as much in bonus money as possible. Typically bonus money isn't considered guaranteed income and will not be considered in how much you will pay in child support and alimony. Then I would fight for as much custody over that child as possible. The less she has the child, the less you will have to pay. Last, I would look for a sugar momma, move in with her and put as cash in a lock box as you can hide. If by some miracle your ex finds a new sucker to marry then your alimony drops to zero.
Good luck

Don't you love the way the system is set up. The dad after the divorce struggles to put a roof over his head and pay his bills while still being a dad to his children. I mean we still like to do fun things with our kids too. Nope send that paycheck to your ex every 2 weeks and get fricked on taxes also.

People just need to start marrying more successful women. My wife and I make about the same amount of money, so when we inevitably get divorced it will be pretty easy.

Shut the frick up

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lsufan112001

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I'm telling u RL. Get to the bottom of it.
She could be civil right now to get u to settle, but when it's done, it could really change.
She could lie to ur kid and turn him against u. U need to have something to go on. U won't regret it

U have to have closure

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Sounds like you and me went through the exact same shite.

I'm thanking you now.

treat it like a cross between dissolving a business and playing high stakes poker, remove the emotion and do what's best for your kid, do not let whatever emotions you once had for the ex enter in, it's over now, walk away, also don't let her get under your skin, once she starts getting advice from her "counselors," read other miserable count friends, she'll try every trick in the book to push your buttons, ignore it and move on

Same advice here....leave emotions out the window. Lawyer up and make sure you have your shite together. It's gonna get worse before it gets better. Divorce sucks. Good luck, dude.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Get a good lawyer. You really do get what you pay for. Check out campaign finance reports for family judges in your area and hire one who is a contributor.

At first, it’s going to seem like the court is against you. Your wife, who made the decision, will probably go out of her way in an attempt to make you crack. Don’t let it get to you. It’s a process, but you’ll be OK.

Fight for 50/50 joint, legal custody. Accept nothing less.

Lastly, let the new boyfriend know that you know who he is. When they break up, he may send you naked pictures of them participating in a threesome. Give these to your lawyer. Subpoena everyone in the picture. The ex will most likely drop all the B.S. and move to settle in mediation. At least mine did. ?

I went from having my kid every other weekend to 50/50 joint, legal custody. I also pay NO child support!

Did I also mention that life can be better once you come out of all of this? So much better. My divorce seemed like hell on Earth at the time, but turned out to be a huge blessing.

Good luck.