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Started By
Message
re: My Mom is Slipping.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:11 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:11 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Mom told me a story, waited about 15 seconds and told it again, verbatim. i started asking and the ones around her all the time had not noticed the slide until i brought it up.
Having watched her, i have instructed mine to stop all meds when i can no longer live at home. Mom never suffered from the disease, but she damn near killed dad.
I feel for you.
Having watched her, i have instructed mine to stop all meds when i can no longer live at home. Mom never suffered from the disease, but she damn near killed dad.
I feel for you.
2
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:20 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Prayers up for you guys
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:24 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Lived through this with an uncle, aunt and my mother....in that order. When moms symptoms started she knew exactly what was coming. It's a terrible thing for all to deal with. If this continues to progress, I really suggest you and your family read this book.
Hang tough, be compassionate and patient and start now telling her each day that you love her.
Playbook
Hang tough, be compassionate and patient and start now telling her each day that you love her.
Playbook
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:26 pm to LSU alum wannabe
quote:
This is tough and totally backwards from how I thought this would go for my parents. My mom handled most things and dad is the quiet old guy who watches sports center. Now he is having to make more decisions.
Get a power of attorney immediately for both of them, for all banking and medical decisions. Don't wait until you need to use it. Get it now while they are both of sound mind. Also, the POA by itself isn't enough, as soon as you get it, put it on file with all their banks/investment accounts etc. That becomes very difficult once they are too declined to cooperate.
ETA- find an elder law firm specializing in this. It will be the best money you ever spent.
This post was edited on 7/20/24 at 7:30 pm
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:29 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Something is happening to someone close to me as well. It's not bad it's more scatterbrained right now but yeah I know the next step might be coming
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:30 pm to LSU alum wannabe
It is not going to get any better.
Whatever happens, and whatever arrangements you have to make, do not allow yourself to but burried by guilt. You can't spend every moment with her. It's okay.
Whatever happens, and whatever arrangements you have to make, do not allow yourself to but burried by guilt. You can't spend every moment with her. It's okay.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:30 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Just lost my mother to dementia two months ago. I would recommend you not put a lot of effort into pinning down an exact diagnosis. Whether its one form of dementia vs another doesn't matter much in how they manage it and unfortunately there's not much they can do for any of them.
At first not too much will change. She will have more good days than bad days. Cherish those. Say what you need to say now, ask any questions you have of her now. Get her finances and legal affairs in order. I can't stress this enough. An elder care attorney is money well spent.
Later on it will get harder. Educate yourself on what to expect. There's lots of great information on youtube.
Everybody wants to keep their family member at home but it most likely get to a point where its not feasible. Don't feel guilty about moving her to a facility. Start doing your homework on that now as well.
Try not to take anything personally. Its the disease talking, not them. If her spouse is still living, be sure to look after him too. Don't expect a lot from friends and family. People tend to go missing when things get hard.
You will do a lot of your grieving in advance in the coming months or years. You may have a sense of relief once its over. Don't feel guilty if you do. She will be better off and that's a good thing.
I'd be lying if I said this will be easy but you will get through it. She looked after you, now its your turn.
At first not too much will change. She will have more good days than bad days. Cherish those. Say what you need to say now, ask any questions you have of her now. Get her finances and legal affairs in order. I can't stress this enough. An elder care attorney is money well spent.
Later on it will get harder. Educate yourself on what to expect. There's lots of great information on youtube.
Everybody wants to keep their family member at home but it most likely get to a point where its not feasible. Don't feel guilty about moving her to a facility. Start doing your homework on that now as well.
Try not to take anything personally. Its the disease talking, not them. If her spouse is still living, be sure to look after him too. Don't expect a lot from friends and family. People tend to go missing when things get hard.
You will do a lot of your grieving in advance in the coming months or years. You may have a sense of relief once its over. Don't feel guilty if you do. She will be better off and that's a good thing.
I'd be lying if I said this will be easy but you will get through it. She looked after you, now its your turn.
This post was edited on 7/20/24 at 8:03 pm
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:32 pm to Jim Rockford
quote:
Just lost my mother to dementia two months ago. I would recommend you not put a lot of effort into pinning down an exact diagnosis. Whether its one form of dementia vs another doesn't matter much in how they manage it and unfortunately there's not much they can do for any of them.
At first not too much will change. She will have more good days than bad days. Cherish those. Say what you need to say now, ask any questions you have of her now. Get her finances and legal affairs in order. I can't stress this enough. An elder care attorney is money well spent?
Later on it will get harder. Educate yourself on what to expect. There's lots of great information on youtube.
Everybody wants to keep their family member at home but it most likely get to a point where its not feasible. Don't feel guilty about moving her to a facility. Start doing your homework on that now as well.
Try not to take anything personally. Its the disease talking, not them. If her spouse is still living, be sure to look after him too. Don't expect a lot from friends and family. People tend to go missing when things get hard.
You will do a lot of your grieving in advance in the comin months or years. You may have a sense of relief once its over. Don't feel guilty if you do. She will be better off and that's a good thing.
I'd be lying if I said this will be easy but you will get through it. She looked after you, now its your turn.
I lost mine in 2020, 100% spot on agree with this. Every aspect, every sentence.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:37 pm to piratedude
quote:
Having watched her, i have instructed mine to stop all meds when i can no longer live at home. Mom never suffered from the disease, but she damn near killed dad.
My mother had sepsis in january. It was about 50-50 whether she would make it. They treated it pretty aggressively and brought her back, but now I wonder if we did the right thing. She had a few good days after that but it was mostly downhill.
As for me, if it comes to that I hope euthanasia will be available. If not i will take matters into my own hands. The problem is it can advance to the point you're not able to.
This post was edited on 7/20/24 at 7:39 pm
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:37 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Is she interested in running for office?
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:40 pm to LSU alum wannabe
This will be the burden of many of us.
Prayers.
Prayers.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:41 pm to LSU alum wannabe
My mom is 92. That’s every single conversation that I have with her. About 10 years ago we told the doctor about this and his reply was “she’s old.” She still works in her flower beds and cooks family meals every Sunday.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:44 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
mine was a stroke but Im well aware of the change in my ability
I had a traumatic brain injury in college from a bad car wreck. Several people on my rehab unit were in there because of strokes. Apparently, a stroke is like a TBI. Anyway, my physical therapist had me ride a stationary bike for a half hour every day. Something about riding a bike helps the brain heal. Just wanted to pass that info along.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:48 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Do some reading about creatine monohydrate and brain function. Certainly can’t hurt her and could help.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:56 pm to Sao
quote:
Has she had any sort of joint replacement? Hip etc?
Interesting, why would you ask about a joint replacement? Just wondering?
Posted on 7/20/24 at 7:59 pm to LSU alum wannabe
When I was growing up folks would say that hardenin of the arteries caused that….
Posted on 7/20/24 at 8:09 pm to LSU alum wannabe
As someone who went through this, get on it sooner rather than later. If you don't have powers of attorney for your parents (general and health care), get that done immediately.
If your mother is the person who handles the money, your dad needs to take over (assuming he's able).
If your mother is the person who handles the money, your dad needs to take over (assuming he's able).
Posted on 7/20/24 at 8:18 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Going through the same. She’s otherwise very healthy and I’m completely blindsided. This just wasn’t on my radar.
Anyone else feel like it’s just as much a personality change as forgetfulness? She never checks in anymore, it’s like anything not right in front of her doesn’t exist, and when I call her she doesn’t seem to have conversations, just goes over her schedule and gives me a weather report. I miss her.
Anyone else feel like it’s just as much a personality change as forgetfulness? She never checks in anymore, it’s like anything not right in front of her doesn’t exist, and when I call her she doesn’t seem to have conversations, just goes over her schedule and gives me a weather report. I miss her.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 8:20 pm to piratedude
quote:
i started asking and the ones around her all the time had not noticed the slide until i brought it up.
This is one of the worst things about living far away from family....the changes those around them don't notice are strikingly obvious to you. Even just a year without visiting can lead to an initial meeting where you nearly taken aback by the changes in appearance, mobility, cognitive levels. Frightening shite.
OP, I don't want to diminish what you're seeing/going through, but this sounds like normal aging to me. My wife, also a nurse, has earned the name "Worst Case Mrs. Mmmmmbeeer" because her mind immediately leaps to benign symptoms translating to awful conditions.
A friend will call her saying my kid has x, y, z symptoms. She'll be like, "could be scarlet fever!" or some shite. Y'all know a lil' too much for your own good.
Posted on 7/20/24 at 8:23 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Prayers
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