re: Moving on and letting someone go that you love.

I've eventually come to realize that she may not have been the complete cause of our divorce. Sure, fingers were pointed, she admitted to the accusations, and I gloated over the supposed win.

As time crept by and I licked my salty wounds, reality slipped in and I began to see my ugly part in it. We had many, many phone conversations that had begun to take on a conciliatory nature where we both talked about our (my) faults and what we could have done differently. In that, we sometimes tearfully forgave each other over and over again, wishing we could reverse what had happened but we both had remarried and would hopefully take the lessons we had learned and apply them to our current relations.

The point is, no matter how glaring upper level of marital sins appear, there is also not so visible under current that rots away the foundation until one day, the relationship just collapses under the stress of it all.

She passed away a few years ago but when she left this earth, we had become extremely close and counted each other as dearest of friends.

I did not win anything but both of us lost something holy. She was a good woman, and I miss her desperately.

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on the flipside of this I did meet somebody recently unlike any other woman I’ve ever met when I told her my story she told me hers. I felt terrible because the things that she went through versus what I went through. I’ll see her this eve … no pics.

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Be careful with this rebound relationship

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I've eventually come to realize that she may not have been the complete cause of our divorce. Sure, fingers were pointed, she admitted to the accusations, and I gloated over the supposed win.

As time crept by and I licked my salty wounds, reality slipped in and I began to see my ugly part in it. We had many, many phone conversations that had begun to take on a conciliatory nature where we both talked about our (my) faults and what we could have done differently. In that, we sometimes tearfully forgave each other over and over again, wishing we could reverse what had happened but we both had remarried and would hopefully take the lessons we had learned and apply them to our current relations.

The point is, no matter how glaring upper level of marital sins appear, there is also not so visible under current that rots away the foundation until one day, the relationship just collapses under the stress of it all.

She passed away a few years ago but when she left this earth, we had become extremely close and counted each other as dearest of friends.

I did not win anything but both of us lost something holy. She was a good woman, and I miss her desperately.

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This sounds sort of similar to my first marriage and how it ended. I felt like a failure, but there was plenty of blame to go around. We have come to terms with it over the years (and it started pretty early). She was sort of like a rescue. I have always had a habit of wanting to swoop in and rescue women in need; it is not really a good place to be when looking for a lifelong partner. Even my current wife of 33 years has said I really sort of rescued her, though I think she is maybe a little hard on herself. My ex and I are still friends, though not as close as you seem to have been with yours.

For the OP, anyone who tells you about their failed relationship without accepting any blame, other than someone having been in an abusive and dangerous relationship(even then, they almost invariably made bad decisions, overlooking obvious red flags and bad behavior), is probably not in a good person for you to get into a relationship with, IMO.

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on the flipside of this I did meet somebody recently unlike any other woman I’ve ever met

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But imo any dude that doesn’t want a good looking woman to spend time with is not normal

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Just go to Prague. Thank me later

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She didn't love herself, and I eventually realized I couldn't save someone that didn't want to be saved

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A wise man once said “don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved”

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on the flipside of this I did meet somebody recently unlike any other woman I’ve ever met when I told her my story she told me hers. I felt terrible because the things that she went through versus what I went through. I’ll see her this eve … no pics.

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I did not win anything but both of us lost something holy

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Truest words brother.