Mingo's Fashion Corner: Alright Baws Let's Talk Hygeine/Grooming

Welcome to the thread that will make your appearance great again. It's time to stop being a lazy slob and get it together. So without further ado let's begin.

Hair Care

First things first, stop going to Supercuts for your $15 haircut. It looks like a $15 haircut. Secondly, buzzing your head because it's easy makes you look like a penis. Sack up and go to a proper barber and get a nice haircut.

Now, lets talk about taking care of your newly minted salad. Get rid of the three in one Old Spice and get some good shampoo. I recommend something like this:



Skin and Oral Care

Now that we got the top figured out let's move on. Having shitty skin is a surefire way to ensure you look like shite. Washing and moisturizing the skin is imperative. Call using a men's lotion gay all you want, but when you are walking around with razor burn or pepperoni face the real men will be laughing at you.



The next item on the list to pulling you out of the despair that is your pitiful appearance is oral care. We all know you got to brush those chompers, but let's take things a step further. One, stop eating and drinking all that sugar. That shite is awful for your teeth. Next, stopping being a lazy arse and floss. It takes 5 minutes and prevents decay and bad breath. Also, invest in a nice electric toothbrush. Personally, I use the Oral B Professional Care. The new automatics are far superior to the standard piece of shite you get at the dentist and don't replace for a year. Finally, head to your dentist and get some whiting trays made. You look like a beaver with those corn kernels hanging out of your gums. I recommend about 1 hour once a week of bleaching your teeth. Doesn't cause enamel breakdown but keep them tooths pearly white.

Shaving

Yes, beards look good, but your shitty half neck beard does not. Look yourself in the mirror and be honest about your beard growing game. If it sucks, you are going to have to compensate else where, your Joe Dirt chops and shitty chin thing doesnt look good, shave it.

If you can grow a beard, excellent. Keep it trimmed and groomed. Looking like redneck Santa Clause is just as bad as the dweeb hipster with a neck beard.




In conclusion, you got to keep that shite tight fellas. Married men, looking like a slob is just setting yourself up to get Jody'd. You young single baws, if you aint keeping it tight, no self respecting woman is going to give you the time of day looking like McLovin.


This is now the Q&A part of the presentation. We will delve into other aspects in the next edition in Mingo's Fashion Corner.