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Man ‘Accidentally Killed’ His Girlfriend With A Cucumber

Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:49 pm
Posted by Green Chili Tiger
Lurking the Tin Foil Hat Board
Member since Jul 2009
50941 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:49 pm
quote:

In a sad turn of events, the man who accidentally killed his girlfriend using cucumber as adult toy has gone under trial for negligent homicide in Germany.

46-year-old Oliver Dietmann works as a sales man at a local store in Germany became the headline of news when he accidentally killed his girlfriend. Oliver was using cucumber as a adult toy with his partner.


quote:

Members of victim’s family including her father and sister were present in the public gallery of the court of Mannheim during trial of Oliver. He explained to the court what actually happened that night


quote:

Oliver told the court what happened that night, “After the cucumber had served its purpose ‘I put it in her mouth. However, suddenly I saw there was smoke coming from the kitchen. I forgot that I had put a piece of meat on the stove for my dog.”


quote:

According to medical report, the reason of death is vegetable wedged in her throat, which cut off her air supply initially and plunged her into coma. Later on, she died.
‘The defendant must have known that he should not have left her for so long on her own, said prosecutor Reinhard Hoffmann.


LINK
Posted by Iron Lion
Romulus
Member since Nov 2014
14166 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:51 pm to
Just take the cucumber out of her mouth before putting out the kitchen fire. That's what I always do.
Posted by LSUBoo
Knoxville, TN
Member since Mar 2006
104459 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:51 pm to
Well, at least it wasn't a pickle.

fricking nasty arse pickles.
Posted by NYCAuburn
TD Platinum Membership/SECr Sheriff
Member since Feb 2011
57015 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:52 pm to
quote:

I put it in her mouth.
quote:

the reason of death is vegetable wedged in her throat,


she had to be a deep throating type of women.


Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
122527 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:53 pm to
Whats long and has cum in it? a cuCUMber.
Posted by tke857
Member since Jan 2012
12195 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:54 pm to
i didnt read but she couldnt take it out of her own damn mouth? or was she tied up?
Posted by Paddyshack
Land of the Free
Member since Sep 2015
11070 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:54 pm to
Posted by EastNastySwag
Member since Dec 2014
5978 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:55 pm to
Everyone is looking at me funny. I never LOLed so hard.
Posted by Ace Midnight
Between sanity and madness
Member since Dec 2006
96252 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:57 pm to
This does remind me of my favorite Wal-Mart story.

About 8 to 10 years ago - I was in line at Wal-Mart. Skinny white dude, about 5'6", short hair, scruffy beard, ~20, was in line with 2 items: A pair of thong panties and a cucumber.

That sort of burns an image into the brain. First of all - Wal-Mart is about the only place (Super Target?) you can make that purchase and that's the only place that has those sorts of people.



RIP to what must certainly have been a fun, freaky German gal.
This post was edited on 2/26/16 at 1:59 pm
Posted by Paddyshack
Land of the Free
Member since Sep 2015
11070 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:57 pm to
Seemed appropriate for this thread.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
122527 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:57 pm to
Posted by High C
viewing the fall....
Member since Nov 2012
62160 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 1:59 pm to
quote:

i didnt read but she couldnt take it out of her own damn mouth? or was she tied up?


This. Article is blocked.
Posted by TheAlmightySmash
New Orleans
Member since Jun 2014
5493 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 2:00 pm to
1001 ways to die just got some more material.
Posted by Gaston
Dirty Coast
Member since Aug 2008
41694 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 2:03 pm to
I think the story is BS. Was she tied up? He killed her by choking her to death with the cucumber, and whether he meant to kill her or not he kept it jammed in there until she went limp. No way she was just fine with a cucumber in her mouth when he left the room.
Posted by Green Chili Tiger
Lurking the Tin Foil Hat Board
Member since Jul 2009
50941 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 2:03 pm to
quote:

i didnt read but she couldnt take it out of her own damn mouth? or was she tied up?



They were both shite-faced. She passed out with it in her mouth.
Posted by Paddyshack
Land of the Free
Member since Sep 2015
11070 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 2:05 pm to
Wait I think we are clearly overlooking an important detail....

Who the frick puts meat on the stove for their dog? Is that a German thing?
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
122527 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 2:06 pm to
As fricked up as this story is, it has to be hard to take this serious. Could you imagine being a juror on this trial? (if they had jurors in Germany).
Posted by jflsufan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Mar 2013
5258 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 2:06 pm to


Mine is bigger than that.
What?
My cucumber. It's bigger.

Posted by Pintail
Member since Nov 2011
12161 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 2:06 pm to
Well that is one lucky arse dog
Posted by Upperdecker
St. George, LA
Member since Nov 2014
33903 posts
Posted on 2/26/16 at 2:08 pm to
Guy had a small penis and had to use a cucumber to please his woman. Cucumber kills woman bc he didn't have to take it out when he left. Therefore all this happened because the guy had a small penis
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