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re: Living with your significant other before marriage - good or bad idea?
Posted on 9/6/25 at 4:33 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Posted on 9/6/25 at 4:33 pm to Artificial Ignorance
So having sex prior to marriage is ok, but living together prior to marriage is taboo ?
Makes sense
Makes sense
This post was edited on 9/6/25 at 4:35 pm
2
Posted on 9/6/25 at 4:36 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Good. I think the old saying “the first year of marriage is the hardest” is due to the reason people didn’t live together before they got married
Posted on 9/6/25 at 4:38 pm to Boston Bob
Where did we say sex prior to marriage is okay?
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:01 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Engaged? Not ideal but okay.
Not engaged, no. If you aren't committed enough to at least set a date, it makes no sense to be committed enough to share bills.
Not engaged, no. If you aren't committed enough to at least set a date, it makes no sense to be committed enough to share bills.
This post was edited on 9/6/25 at 5:02 pm
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:02 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Conventional wisdom leads people to think it is a good thing but in fact those who cohabitate before marriage have about 50% higher divorce rate than those who do not.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:21 pm to Boston Bob
quote:
So having sex prior to marriage is ok, but living together prior to marriage is taboo ?
OP (me) never mentioned premarital sex, and don’t think anyone else did either.
You are fabricating your own illogical reasoning.
You living in some of dat sin?
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:25 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Good
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:25 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Dating and living together are very different.
I think you should live together before marriage. Lessens risk of divorce later.
If you’re against this for religious reasons then answer this:
Were you abstinent while dating? If yes than you have an argument. If no, you’ve already sinned in Gods eyes so living together won’t change that. And you can move in and still be abstinent.
Nowhere does the Bible say living together before marriage is wrong. To me, the taboo of living together before marriage is societal and not based in religious belief and it’s stupid. Divorce is way worse than living together before marriage and deciding it won’t work
I think you should live together before marriage. Lessens risk of divorce later.
If you’re against this for religious reasons then answer this:
Were you abstinent while dating? If yes than you have an argument. If no, you’ve already sinned in Gods eyes so living together won’t change that. And you can move in and still be abstinent.
Nowhere does the Bible say living together before marriage is wrong. To me, the taboo of living together before marriage is societal and not based in religious belief and it’s stupid. Divorce is way worse than living together before marriage and deciding it won’t work
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:27 pm to bcoop199
quote:
I wonder if that's because those people that don't cohabitate stay together because they believe in the sanctity of marriage.
I suspect you are on to it. Curious myself.
Would love to see a study of descendants of two groups:
Independent variable
1. Married parents throughout life
2. Divorced parents
Dependent variables
1. Number of descendants on anti anxiety meds, anti depression meds or similar
2. Number of descendants who too ended marriages in divorce
3. Number of descendants who achieved their dreams.
3 impossible but interesting.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:29 pm to Artificial Ignorance
I lived with my late wife 5 years before we got married. Would have been 25 years this last march but she passed last October.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:29 pm to Artificial Ignorance
There needs to be skin in the game.
Be engaged with a wedding date first.
If you live like you’re married before you’re married, when shite inevitably hits the fan, it’s too easy to run off and quit instead of working through your problems.
There aren’t any strings attached.
Be engaged with a wedding date first.
If you live like you’re married before you’re married, when shite inevitably hits the fan, it’s too easy to run off and quit instead of working through your problems.
There aren’t any strings attached.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:46 pm to Artificial Ignorance
In the long run it won't matter. It may be the closet thing to a test run but in reality it's not really a test run in my opinion. Whatever issues are below the surface in the relationship won't really surface until well into the marriage.
That's when you will truly know if you and your spouse are committed to making the relationship last.
That's when you will truly know if you and your spouse are committed to making the relationship last.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:46 pm to Artificial Ignorance
My wife and I dated for one month before she moved in. That was in 2004. It worked out well for us. But we also knew each from work so we weren’t entirely unknown to each other. We also knew very early on that it was meant to be. Everything just clicked so she moved in. I’m not sure her mother was happy about it but we weren’t worried about that. 
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:49 pm to Artificial Ignorance
I know it’s not very Christian, but I feel like you don’t truly know a person until you live with them. Seems like most would be better off living together before marriage.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:49 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Necessary
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:52 pm to Artificial Ignorance
You should be asking yourself if getting married is a good idea instead.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 5:55 pm to dukke v
quote:
I lived with my late wife 5 years before we got married. Would have been 25 years this last march but she passed l
The downvote is to express that I'm sorry to hear you lost your wife. One of my best friends just lost his wife of 20 years. My heart goes out to you and others suffering from a similar fate.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 6:01 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Do you buy a car without a test drive?
Posted on 9/6/25 at 6:04 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Damn fine idea. Should be required. Would prevent a lot of divorces.
Posted on 9/6/25 at 6:13 pm to Artificial Ignorance
Good idea, divorce rates been dropping since
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