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TheAustinMan
Member since Apr 2021
35 posts

Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Yes I know, another one of these posts. I'll preface this by saying I love my parents and family, especially my mom who is truly my best friend. For her sake alone I would never do anything really crazy but dang if life just doesn't feel a little hopeless for me right now.

I know I'm poor compared to many of you OT ballers on here but pre-pandemic I made a decent wage of $23/hr.) We would have some options of overtime and occasionally even double time which meant you could pocket some decent money at times. While my job was only decently paying I would get 4 weeks of vacation time a year, 8 days of paid sick time off a year, 401k with a company match of up to 8% and full medical benefits. Like many of you the pandemic caused my company to almost completely shut down. The company has reopened but my department was completely eliminated in December.

I currently live in a different state from the rest of my family so I used the first few months of this year to relax as well as to take a vacation I put off from 2020 and take an additional trip to see family as well. Being unemployed I thought I had until September but living in Florida I now only have another month before I am completely cut off from the Federal Unemployment Benefits. I'm not making this political on which side I support but needless to say that decision was a huge blow. I thought I would have a few months to find a decent job and could afford to be somewhat picky. Now I have to be in almost a "take anything" position which isn't good for my mental health long term.

The job search has definitely been disheartening as most of the jobs I've seen are pretty much in the $13-$17/hr. range, so I know I'm going to take a decent pay cut.

But besides all that though I just feel like the best years of my life are behind me. I've felt this way off and on for probably a year or two but the pandemic has really brought it out. I try to remind myself that I am lucky, that I bought a condo with my parents (and yes it truly is both of ours, 50/50 split and I pay all the taxes, insurance, HOA fees, utilities and any maintenance projects) that will be mine in 20 - 30 years after they have passed. I've never been divorced, don't have any kids and get to live a pretty simple life.

But if I'm being honest I just feel like the pandemic has revealed that I don't have much to show in my life. I'm mid 30's, single and no kids. While other people at least had significant others or families to ride the pandemic out with, I had no one. Being an introvert at first I loved the lockdowns and lack of seeing people, but even for me I'm tired of it at this point. As friends of mine focused on being with their families during the pandemic it reminded me of just how alone I am.

I have several medical issues that have caused quality of life issues for me and make me concerned about the prospects of finding a decent new job. My allergies and asthma have been absolutely killing me this year which has caused me to cough a lot. I also suffer from hereditary high blood pressure, GERD and some anxiety. I also have terrible vocal chords and in the last few years I feel like I temporarily lose my voice (at least for a few times) every time I get even a minor infection. I feel like most people my age do not have the issues that I have and it makes me feel isolated.

So I am unemployed, have health issues, am not seeing anyone/in a relationship or have any children. As I've started looking for work I feel like every job I look at just seems soul crushing. My old job was the best job I had but even with that it wasn't some sort of crazy passion. That's always been one of my problems, that I never really had that calling. I see other people working in industries they love or really following a passion and I don't have that. I hate to say it but I've come to conclusion I'm a fairly boring individual.

At this point I just don't know what to do. Life right now feels very hopeless and meaningless. I feel like the best years of my life are behind me. I feel like my body is slowly betraying me in a medical and even mental sense. I know I should probably see someone but I have terrible temporary insurance and I honestly wouldn't be able to afford to see a therapist on a regular basis. More than anything though I feel alone. I'm used to having to fight battles by myself but I'm really having to fight this one alone. My family would either be too concerned or brush it off. Some of my close friends have their own drama right now and I don't want to bother them with it.

I feel like I'm truly at a crossroads in my life, at the proverbial fork in the road. And for the first time in my life I honestly have no clue what to do.

Any advice? Recommendations?


The Pirate King
USA Fan
Pangu
Member since May 2014
43904 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
quote:

Any advice? Recommendations?


Find something you love to do for work and go for it.


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231
chef tiger
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2009
554 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Someone posted here they make 1200 per week with waitr.
This post was edited on 6/3 at 6:54 pm


yaboidarrell
LSU Fan
westbank
Member since Feb 2017
2740 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Get laid.


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311
StringedInstruments
Auburn Fan
Member since Oct 2013
13735 posts
 Online 

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Dude. Shut the frick up.

I mean that as advice. You are overthinking life to the nth degree. It’s like exponential introversion. A 15 year old girl first discovering Evanescence doesn’t have as much victim puke running through her brain.

Honest suggestion?

Lift. Find a hobby. Socialize. Upgrade your attire. Eat right and lose excess body fat. Talk to women and get their number. frick some of them.
This post was edited on 6/3 at 8:20 pm


adamau
US Marine Corps Fan
Member since Oct 2020
1095 posts
 Online 

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
The best advice I can offer to all of that is find something, somewhere, somehow and commit some time of your week to serving someone else. It doesn't really matter what it is you do to help someone else, but the act of constantly doing it helps center you in times like these, and I think whether we want to admit it or not, most of us feel some of those things at points in our lives. good luck and try hard to see the positives each day.
This post was edited on 6/3 at 6:56 pm


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170
financetiger
LSU Fan
Member since Feb 2008
1204 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Well first of all, you've come to the right place. Life is full of peaks and lulls. You are in a lull right now but this is temporary. Get outside, get some fresh air and start exercising in your back yard or in your neighborhood. Grab a jumprope and start walking. Walk the dog 10 times a day if you don't work right now. Just do something! Don't worry about the relationship, you are obviously not in a position to be in one anyway. You need to work on yourself first. Good luck. Keep coming back here and checking in.
This just goes to show people how bad the depression/anxiety epidemic really is and Covid just brought everything to the forefront.


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210
chef tiger
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2009
554 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Honestly. You gotta take charge of all aspects of your life. Health wealth and love life. Dont wait for shite to happen.


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180
JustLivinTheDream
LSU Fan
Member since Jan 2017
2561 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
You need to talk to your family and friends. Doesn't matter whether they get concerned or brush it off, tell them everything.

Also, work on your physical health. Exercise and diet. Focus on the things you can control.


Yoda Baby
Member since May 2021
128 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
quote:

Any advice? Recommendations?


Didn’t read your post because I don’t care about your problems and guess what? Neither does anyone else. The sooner you realize that the sooner you’ll realize the only person who is responsible for your happiness is you. Good luck


Mainieri Fan
Arkansas Fan
Greenwood
Member since Sep 2018
725 posts
 Online 

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
quote:

Someone posted here they make 1200 per week with waitr.


I'm a retired Army Vet. I Door Dash to kill boredom. I'm bringing in $125 - $150 in about 6 hrs a day. I work when I want to, have no boss...


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160
financetiger
LSU Fan
Member since Feb 2008
1204 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
quote:


Didn’t read your post because I don’t care about your problems and guess what? Neither does anyone else. The sooner you realize that the sooner you’ll realize the only person who is responsible for your happiness is you. Good luck


Let's hope you never have to go through a hard time dude.


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260
OWLFAN86
Rice Fan
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
156223 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
have a stroke, lose all your savings, be forced to sell your house and then be unable to access therapy because of the pandemic shutdown and then get back to me


TheAustinMan
Member since Apr 2021
35 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
quote:

You need to talk to your family and friends. Doesn't matter whether they get concerned or brush it off, tell them everything. Also, work on your physical health. Exercise and diet. Focus on the things you can control.


I know I probably should but I'm just so worried that they'll instantly go the whole "OMG he's s*cidal, going to k*ll himself" which I'm not, I'm just depressed. My sister in law already had a brother who k*lled himself so I know she would instantly freak out. My dad would have the "be a man, stop being weak, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and figure it out" type of response which isn't helpful at all right now.

I did start working on my physical health in the last year. Joined a Orange Theory, started working out regularly and while it's off and on I have mostly started to eat healthier. So physically I think I'm on the right track with diet and exercise but I know mentally and emotionally I'm a disaster.


Kafka
USA Fan
I am the moral conscience of TD
Member since Jul 2007
119264 posts
 Online 

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
quote:

Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Yes I know, another one of these posts. I'll preface this by saying I love my parents and family, especially my mom who is truly my best friend. For her sake alone I would never do anything really crazy but dang if life just doesn't feel a little hopeless for me right now.

I know I'm poor compared to many of you OT ballers on here but pre-pandemic I made a decent wage of $23/hr.) We would have some options of overtime and occasionally even double time which meant you could pocket some decent money at times. While my job was only decently paying I would get 4 weeks of vacation time a year, 8 days of paid sick time off a year, 401k with a company match of up to 8% and full medical benefits. Like many of you the pandemic caused my company to almost completely shut down. The company has reopened but my department was completely eliminated in December.

I currently live in a different state from the rest of my family so I used the first few months of this year to relax as well as to take a vacation I put off from 2020 and take an additional trip to see family as well. Being unemployed I thought I had until September but living in Florida I now only have another month before I am completely cut off from the Federal Unemployment Benefits. I'm not making this political on which side I support but needless to say that decision was a huge blow. I thought I would have a few months to find a decent job and could afford to be somewhat picky. Now I have to be in almost a "take anything" position which isn't good for my mental health long term.

The job search has definitely been disheartening as most of the jobs I've seen are pretty much in the $13-$17/hr. range, so I know I'm going to take a decent pay cut.

But besides all that though I just feel like the best years of my life are behind me. I've felt this way off and on for probably a year or two but the pandemic has really brought it out. I try to remind myself that I am lucky, that I bought a condo with my parents (and yes it truly is both of ours, 50/50 split and I pay all the taxes, insurance, HOA fees, utilities and any maintenance projects) that will be mine in 20 - 30 years after they have passed. I've never been divorced, don't have any kids and get to live a pretty simple life.

But if I'm being honest I just feel like the pandemic has revealed that I don't have much to show in my life. I'm mid 30's, single and no kids. While other people at least had significant others or families to ride the pandemic out with, I had no one. Being an introvert at first I loved the lockdowns and lack of seeing people, but even for me I'm tired of it at this point. As friends of mine focused on being with their families during the pandemic it reminded me of just how alone I am.

I have several medical issues that have caused quality of life issues for me and make me concerned about the prospects of finding a decent new job. My allergies and asthma have been absolutely killing me this year which has caused me to cough a lot. I also suffer from hereditary high blood pressure, GERD and some anxiety. I also have terrible vocal chords and in the last few years I feel like I temporarily lose my voice (at least for a few times) every time I get even a minor infection. I feel like most people my age do not have the issues that I have and it makes me feel isolated.

So I am unemployed, have health issues, am not seeing anyone/in a relationship or have any children. As I've started looking for work I feel like every job I look at just seems soul crushing. My old job was the best job I had but even with that it wasn't some sort of crazy passion. That's always been one of my problems, that I never really had that calling. I see other people working in industries they love or really following a passion and I don't have that. I hate to say it but I've come to conclusion I'm a fairly boring individual.

At this point I just don't know what to do. Life right now feels very hopeless and meaningless. I feel like the best years of my life are behind me. I feel like my body is slowly betraying me in a medical and even mental sense. I know I should probably see someone but I have terrible temporary insurance and I honestly wouldn't be able to afford to see a therapist on a regular basis. More than anything though I feel alone. I'm used to having to fight battles by myself but I'm really having to fight this one alone. My family would either be too concerned or brush it off. Some of my close friends have their own drama right now and I don't want to bother them with it.

I feel like I'm truly at a crossroads in my life, at the proverbial fork in the road. And for the first time in my life I honestly have no clue what to do.
+1


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90
philly444
LSU Fan
stuck in contraflow
Member since Nov 2008
8955 posts
 Online 

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Exercise. If you aren't working, go for a run everyday or every other day down some interesting bike/running trail. Get some fresh air and sweat a little. It will help with your mental health exponentially.


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70
TheAustinMan
Member since Apr 2021
35 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
quote:

have a stroke, lose all your savings, be forced to sell your house and then be unable to access therapy because of the pandemic shutdown and then get back to me


Honestly, that's not helpful. I never once said there weren't people who didn't have it worse than me. I'm so sorry that you are going through that and if there was something I could do to help I would. But what you're going through doesn't discount what I'm going through or make it any less difficult.


GI Jerm
LSU Fan
D.C.
Member since Apr 2010
128 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
Holy wall of text.

I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but cling to your family.

I lost my Mom in Feb to COVID, and would give anything to hear her voice again.

Get some certs in IT and you’ll make good money. Good luck and all the best.


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20
OWLFAN86
Rice Fan
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
156223 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
but perspective does.



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63
TheAustinMan
Member since Apr 2021
35 posts

re: Life In General Just Feels Hopeless and Meaningless
quote:

Dude. Shut the frick up. I mean that as advice. You are overthinking life to the tenth degree. It’s like exponential introversion. A 15 year old girl first discovering Evanescence doesn’t have as much victim puke running through her brain. Honest suggestion? Lift. Find a hobby. Socialize. Upgrade your attire. Eat right and lose excess body fat. Talk to women and get their number. frick some of them.


I won't lie and say that isn't the first time I've heard that but you really think I'm overthinking my life? Anything in particular or everything?


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