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Started By
Message
1
Posted on 8/13/15 at 8:53 pm to moneyg
My point is that he doesn't know me and he doesn't know my wife. his only piece of info is that one of us is cheating. How does that give him the right to go to the other party? He has zero other information. He doesn't know our problems. He doesn't know the people involved or the dynamics. It's never as simple as "this guy is a cheater". What he did is fricked up. Just because the cheater is scum too doesn't absolve him of that.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 8:54 pm to Rouge
quote:
Really?
Night existed before this one where circumstances were the same, and we may assume that such sorrow was not felt? Was the man any less adulterous on those evenings?
Ignorance is Bliss? If a tree falls and nobody is there to hear it...
The cheating occurred. You can't blame the guy who told her any more than you can blame the dry cleaners who failed to remove the lipstick mark from his collar. Those fricking bastards. If they would have just done their job, nobody would be crying tonight.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 8:56 pm to RougeTiger
Posted on 8/13/15 at 8:56 pm to moneyg
Nobody is saying the cheater is in the right. We're saying the OP is a nosy bitch
Posted on 8/13/15 at 8:57 pm to shel311
quote:
That's amazing. wow.
Why is that amazing?
I don't know "you" so what gives you the right to approach me about ANYTHING in my personal life?
Posted on 8/13/15 at 8:58 pm to RougeTiger
Which one do you want to frick, the wife or the close friend girl? Either way, I think you have gone about it in the worst way possible
This post was edited on 8/13/15 at 8:59 pm
Posted on 8/13/15 at 8:58 pm to Han Soleaux
Nosy bitch is harsh, but OP inserted himself into something that he knew nothing about
It is obvious that we have one camp that sees fidelity as most definite and unwielding. One error and all else that happens is deserved. That is fine, but it is not an opinion that I agree with.
It is obvious that we have one camp that sees fidelity as most definite and unwielding. One error and all else that happens is deserved. That is fine, but it is not an opinion that I agree with.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 8:59 pm to Han Soleaux
quote:
Nobody is saying the cheater is in the right. We're saying the OP is a nosy bitch
The girl will likely forgive the guy and the OP will get his arse kicked for being a punk bitch. Book it. You just don't do what the OP did as a guy. She's got girl friends for all that.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:00 pm to ell_13
quote:
My point is that he doesn't know me and he doesn't know my wife.
Why does he have to know you or your wife? What does that matter. Either the cheating is a big deal to you and/or your wife or it isn't.
quote:
How does that give him the right to go to the other party?
The right? Clarify your question. This isn't about rights.
quote:
He has zero other information. He doesn't know our problems. He doesn't know the people involved or the dynamics.
Again, either the transgression is a big deal or it's not. If it's justified, so be it. He didn't change anything about those facts.
quote:
What he did is fricked up.
It was NOT fricked up. I don't think it was worthy of praise, but he did absolutely no harm. Let's assume the worst...that his reasons for telling her is because he hates HER and wanted to see her in pain so he could get some sort of sick enjoyment. That would make him an a-hole.
But, it wouldn't make him responsible for the pain that she feels. That's due to the cheating husband. She can hate the guy who informed her for getting enjoyment out of her misery.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:00 pm to Rouge
I'm with you.
Infidelity is wrong. Not excusing it in the slightest.
But I also don't approve of the way OP handled the situation.
Infidelity is wrong. Not excusing it in the slightest.
But I also don't approve of the way OP handled the situation.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:02 pm to moneyg
[quote]Let's assume (as I do) that he did it for his own selfish reasons. [/quote?
I think he did and in my opinion he's no better than the guy who cheated.
And I agree that she is hurt because of the person who cheated on her but the OP supposedly does not have a stake in this at all nor knows the dynamics of that relationship. Why would anyone do this to someone they do not know?
I think he did and in my opinion he's no better than the guy who cheated.
And I agree that she is hurt because of the person who cheated on her but the OP supposedly does not have a stake in this at all nor knows the dynamics of that relationship. Why would anyone do this to someone they do not know?
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:02 pm to Rouge
quote:Having proof of cheating and not wanting to know is wild stuff to me.
Some wild stuff, indeed
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:04 pm to Red Stick Tigress
quote:If my wife is cheating on me and there's proof, a 10 year old or a carrier pigeon can tell me for all I care, I just want to know and see the proof.
Why is that amazing?
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:04 pm to shel311
My dad always told me......
"You can be right or you can be happy, but you can't always be both."
"You can be right or you can be happy, but you can't always be both."
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:04 pm to RougeTiger
A simple fact is that, if you get in the middle of someone's relationship, you are going to have to take or give an arse whoopin'. You have not heard the last of it.
One or more of the three posts here. Your OP spoke directly to someone you thought would be reading it. Probably two of the three.
You obviously want to do the girl that is your friend. You spouted your info to the wife, hoping it would be a catalyst to some naked time for you. You think she is wife material and acting like she did not know he was married keeps her from being a whore. She knew.
You say you cannot tell the story because she would be outed so she obviously posts here.
You have screwed up royally and now need to learn from it and move on. Find a different girl to secretly love. One who may be actually be interested in you.
You are also obviously early to mid twenties and awkward socially.
One or more of the three posts here. Your OP spoke directly to someone you thought would be reading it. Probably two of the three.
You obviously want to do the girl that is your friend. You spouted your info to the wife, hoping it would be a catalyst to some naked time for you. You think she is wife material and acting like she did not know he was married keeps her from being a whore. She knew.
You say you cannot tell the story because she would be outed so she obviously posts here.
You have screwed up royally and now need to learn from it and move on. Find a different girl to secretly love. One who may be actually be interested in you.
You are also obviously early to mid twenties and awkward socially.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:05 pm to RougeTiger
quote:
RougeTiger
frick the haters. You did right. Absolutely the 100% right thing to do. For those who wouldn't do the same, shame on them.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:05 pm to moneyg
The girl probably knew and it's no place for a guy to go tell a girl that her guy is cheating. It's wimpy, nosey, pathetic and he will get his arse beat.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:07 pm to Rouge
quote:
It is obvious that we have one camp that sees fidelity as most definite and unwielding. One error and all else that happens is deserved. That is fine, but it is not an opinion that I agree with.
You may not agree with it, but you disagree to the extent that you aren't willing to let the infidelity be known.
It's not like you live a life where you and your wife both agree with that and are capable of overcoming a single error. Cause, if that were the case, you'd have no concern about the information becoming public.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:07 pm to RougeTiger
Now I know you're lying. I can't take my wedding ring off because there's a tan line. There are a ton of other telltale signs that a guy is married. Women know a guy is married. We all have digital footprints. If we believe this was just a friend to you then he broke it off and you played "emotional hit man". More likely this was your woman and you found out and got upset and decided to strike back.
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