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re: Just told a chick her husband cheated on her
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:09 pm to jmcs68
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:09 pm to jmcs68
quote:
I think he did and in my opinion he's no better than the guy who cheated.
quote:
And I agree that she is hurt because of the person who cheated on her but the OP supposedly does not have a stake in this at all nor knows the dynamics of that relationship. Why would anyone do this to someone they do not know?
In this case he probably did it to get revenge against the husband. But, he probably felt ok with doing that because he thought he was doing the right thing for the wife (and rightfully so).
1
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:09 pm to RedRifle
There no way the OP didn't have something to gain if he did not know the couple.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:10 pm to Rhino5
quote:
The girl probably knew and it's no place for a guy to go tell a girl that her guy is cheating. It's wimpy, nosey, pathetic and he will get his arse beat.
Its the place of humans to care about the well-being of others humans. You sound wimpy and pathetic for standing on the sidelines. Think if 20 years went by without her ever knowing, and the entire time he's cheating on her, and then the entire 20 years becomes a lie. The cheater is the asshat here.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:11 pm to jmcs68
quote:
There no way the OP didn't have something to gain if he did not know the couple.
Who gives a shite? Cheating is shitty, pure and simple. Leave it at that.
This thread and the responses make me think there are a ton of cheaters on this site, and this is bringing up old emotions from their bad decisions.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:12 pm to RougeTiger
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:13 pm to moneyg
quote:
In this case he probably did it to get revenge against the husband.
But according to the OP this is not the case. And even if it is what a pussy.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:15 pm to moneyg
quote:Was I not clear? I gave my reasons. He only has 1 piece of knowledge. The cheating. What if my SO knows already? What if she is too? I've said already that if someone is cheating in a marriage, it's hardly the only problems in the relationship. There are issues and it's not up to strangers to get in the middle of it.
Why does he have to know you or your wife? What does that matter
quote:Of course it's a big fricking deal. Why does that mean it's okay for strangers to who know nothing of me, my wife, or our relationship to get involved?
Either the cheating is a big deal to you and/or your wife or it isn't.
quote:Do you not think he's "right" in telling the SO about the infidelity? Are you being slow on purpose?
The right? Clarify your question. This isn't about rights.
quote:Of course he did. I've seen relationships heal without the influence of strangers. The person came forward with his indiscretions and true remorse. That's taken away here. And it's important. Because he came forward on his own and wasn't forced, it showed it wasn't done out of guilt and the reconciliation could start right there and without (or much less) her taking his word for granted... trust can start again. That's gone in this situation.
but he did absolutely no harm.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:16 pm to Red Stick Tigress
quote:
OP had no business inserting himself/herself into someone else's relationship, that someone else he/she admitted to not knowing.
What relationship? Its fricking in shambles if there's cheating going on. Call it for what it is. And maybe those around YOU would not be afraid to say anything, but those are this situation MAY be afraid to speak. Who cares. Why can't you focus on the dumb arse cheater? How stupid is it that you have nothing to say about the cheater, but only focus on the person blowing the whistle on the cheater?
Have you been a cheater before? Sounds like you're bitter from when you got caught.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:18 pm to tiggerthetooth
quote:
This thread and the responses make me think there are a ton of cheaters on this site, and this is bringing up old emotions from their bad decisions.
This is more about someone who told someone something and more than likely did it for his personal gain. That's the shitty part of this.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:18 pm to ell_13
quote:
Of course it's a big fricking deal. Why does that mean it's okay for strangers to who know nothing of me, my wife, or our relationship to get involved?
Because cheating is cheating. Why does it matter how you know? Is there some world where there is a good cheating and bad cheating? Are you going to justify the cheating as right just because of the person who told you? Even though its true either way? Whats the difference?
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:19 pm to tiggerthetooth
quote:
Think if 20 years went by without her ever knowing,
You are terribly belittling the intuition of women with that statement. They are reading and sensing men when we don't even know it.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:19 pm to tiggerthetooth
quote:Yet you think it goes on for 20 years?
What relationship? Its fricking in shambles if there's cheating going on.
Like I said, if one person is cheating, they already have problems. It's not up to strangers to get inserted into that shite. They don't know what else is going on. Friends, yes. There's understanding there. Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:20 pm to Hangit
I guarantee you I am not getting my arse beat, especially not in the bar in which this upstanding young husband seems to frequent recently. That's the least of my worries. My reasoning behind this contradicts another one of your great points--that I am socially awkward.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:21 pm to ell_13
Thanks for dumbing it down for all the basement dwellers in here ell_13
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:22 pm to RougeTiger
quote:how wonderfully naive
I guarantee you I am not getting my arse beat, especially not in the bar in which this upstanding young husband seems to frequent recently
Hope you live in that bar
People are capable of extreme acts when accompanied with jolting life changes
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:23 pm to RougeTiger
quote:
I guarantee you I am not getting my arse beat,
I guarantee you are. You did a disrespectful thing and the relationship would have taken its due course. No one should trust you.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:23 pm to RougeTiger
quote:what you should have done was be a man and tell the husband he is a piece of shite and that he needs to come clean to his wife
Just told a chick her husband cheated
It's not your place to tell the wife.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:24 pm to tiggerthetooth
quote:Stop. Cheating is bad. Period. This isn't what it's about.
Because cheating is cheating. Why does it matter how you know? Is there some world where there is a good cheating and bad cheating? Are you going to justify the cheating as right just because of the person who told you? Even though its true either way? Whats the difference?
What it's about is a stranger making it their business without any other detail. Literally, none. He doesn't know if their split... if the wife's cheating too... nothing. Does that justify the cheater? Hell no. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying a stranger shouldn't go directly to the SO who's being cheated on with zero knowledge of what else could be going on.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:27 pm to tiggerthetooth
quote:
What relationship? Its fricking in shambles if there's cheating going on. Call it for what it is. And maybe those around YOU would not be afraid to say anything, but those are this situation MAY be afraid to speak. Who cares. Why can't you focus on the dumb arse cheater? How stupid is it that you have nothing to say about the cheater, but only focus on the person blowing the whistle on the cheater?
Have you been a cheater before? Sounds like you're bitter from when you got caught. What relationship? Its fricking in shambles if there's cheating going on. Call it for what it is. And maybe those around YOU would not be afraid to say anything, but those are this situation MAY be afraid to speak. Who cares. Why can't you focus on the dumb arse cheater? How stupid is it that you have nothing to say about the cheater, but only focus on the person blowing the whistle on the cheater?
Have you been a cheater before? Sounds like you're bitter from when you got caught.What relationship? Its fricking in shambles if there's cheating going on. Call it for what it is. And maybe those around YOU would not be afraid to say anything, but those are this situation MAY be afraid to speak. Who cares. Why can't you focus on the dumb arse cheater? How stupid is it that you have nothing to say about the cheater, but only focus on the person blowing the whistle on the cheater?
Have you been a cheater before? Sounds like you're bitter from when you got caught.
Because it wasn't the cheater than came on here and announced that he was cheating on his wife. It was a stranger that inserted himself into their marriage (or lack of one).
Thank you for asking but I've never cheated on my SO.
I have, however, been cheated on. I found out in my own time. It hurt and I did not need or want a stranger to come to me to tell me what was going on. It was no one's business but mine.
An aside: Years ago, someone that I am close to knew his cousin was cheating on his wife and said nothing. It turns out that the wife knew all along and stayed with the cheater for the kid's sake. People stay together or not for different reasons.
I would never be so presumptuous to insert myself and my opinions into someone else's relationship without them asking. It flat out wasn't the OP's place to speak to someone he didn't have any type of friendship with.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:30 pm to jeff5891
quote:Yep. OP crawfished and said this is what he should have done in hindsight when I first mentioned it. He admitted to acting irrationally. Yet now he's got some backup so he isn't saying that anymore.
what you should have done was be a man and tell the husband he is a piece of shite and that he needs to come clean to his wife
This post was edited on 8/13/15 at 9:32 pm
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