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Started By
Message
Is my wife a pathological liar?
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:20 pm
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:20 pm
We’ve been married for years and I’ve just now picked up on the fact that she’ll say anything to win an argument. Two stupid arguments we had in the last 2 days opened my eyes to this:
Argument 1:
Her - don’t put that shirt on, it stinks.
Me - you’re thinking of the shirt with black in it, this looks like that one but has blue where the other one has black.
Her- It looks blue to me.
We go back and forth about whether the stinky shirt is black or blue and I call my son in for an impartial ruling. He says black.
Her - Boys have less developed rods and cones and don’t see colors as well.
Me -
Argument 2:
Me (while standing in the shower with the water on) - You threw away my brush so I can’t wash the middle of my back, I need you to wash it for me.
Her - You don’t have to wash it with soap.
Me - That’s gross and I just worked out so I’m sweaty and sticky.
Her - That comes off with water.
Me - You don’t use soap?! (I’ve showered with her, so I know she does, but I’m cornering her)
Her - I do, but it’s actually healthier to just use water.
Me - Can you just wash my back please.
Her - I know several people that work for dermatologists that only shower with water.
Me -
Who knows variances in rod and cone function between the sexes? And who knows “several people that work for dermatologists”, and what are the odds that they all share the same disgusting lack of hygiene and are willing to admit it?
Argument 1:
Her - don’t put that shirt on, it stinks.
Me - you’re thinking of the shirt with black in it, this looks like that one but has blue where the other one has black.
Her- It looks blue to me.
We go back and forth about whether the stinky shirt is black or blue and I call my son in for an impartial ruling. He says black.
Her - Boys have less developed rods and cones and don’t see colors as well.
Me -
Argument 2:
Me (while standing in the shower with the water on) - You threw away my brush so I can’t wash the middle of my back, I need you to wash it for me.
Her - You don’t have to wash it with soap.
Me - That’s gross and I just worked out so I’m sweaty and sticky.
Her - That comes off with water.
Me - You don’t use soap?! (I’ve showered with her, so I know she does, but I’m cornering her)
Her - I do, but it’s actually healthier to just use water.
Me - Can you just wash my back please.
Her - I know several people that work for dermatologists that only shower with water.
Me -
Who knows variances in rod and cone function between the sexes? And who knows “several people that work for dermatologists”, and what are the odds that they all share the same disgusting lack of hygiene and are willing to admit it?
58
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:20 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
(And post pics)
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:22 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Don’t stop, it’s cathartic to hear stories about stupid shite other people’s wives do.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:24 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
It's true about soap. Only need to soap your pits and privates after a workout.
You're ruining your body's natural processes.
Also, don't wash your hair every day.
You're ruining your body's natural processes.
Also, don't wash your hair every day.
This post was edited on 8/24/19 at 1:25 pm
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:25 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
She’s banging other dudes. RIP
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:28 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Women are all liars
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:28 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
PIIHB to get emotions back into her.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:28 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
It's actually a lot of fun to tell your spouse random shite that you make up during a silly debate.
I recommend fighting fire with fire. The more complex the better.
"Actually, a study conducted in 2007 by noted dermatologist Hans Johanns showed that using soap within an hour after a vigorous workout not only reduces the risk of skin diseases by 37%, it also aids in recovery from the exercise."
I recommend fighting fire with fire. The more complex the better.
"Actually, a study conducted in 2007 by noted dermatologist Hans Johanns showed that using soap within an hour after a vigorous workout not only reduces the risk of skin diseases by 37%, it also aids in recovery from the exercise."
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:29 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
Is my wife a pathological liar?
No she just sounds like an idiot.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:29 pm to Displaced
quote:
It's true about soap. Only need to soap your pits and privates after a workout.
You're ruining your body's natural processes.
Downvoted on principle
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:29 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
I agree with you. Also, you should not quit working out.... because you sound fat.
You can't be that old because you brought a child into it....so you must be a bit fat to not be able to reach your mid back.
quote:
Me (while standing in the shower with the water on) - You threw away my brush so I can’t wash the middle of my back, I need you to wash it for me.
You can't be that old because you brought a child into it....so you must be a bit fat to not be able to reach your mid back.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:30 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Your wife is not a pathological liar. She is simply a woman.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:30 pm to Displaced
quote:
It's true about soap. Only need to soap your pits and privates after a workout.
You're ruining your body's natural processes.
Also, don't wash your hair every day.
Not so sure about all that, but it is true about the difference in colors seen by men and women. I thought everyone with a mom or wife knew that. Don’t know that it’s necessarily rods and cones, but on average women see many more shades of color than men do.
ETA: You do know they make washcloths that are long, kind of like a narrow towel, correct? You can soap them up and use them just like you would if you were drying your back.
This post was edited on 8/24/19 at 1:35 pm
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:31 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
Her - Boys have less developed rods and cones and don’t see colors as well.
It sounds like your wife is extremely immature.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:31 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
it’s actually healthier to just use water.
How does her coochie smell?
I think we know now.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:32 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
it just sounds like she hates you and is tired of dealing with you
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:34 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
“Argument” 1 should have gone something like this:
For “Argument” 2, if I ask my wife to do something in the shower I can guarantee you that it has nothing to do with my back.
quote:
Her - don’t put that shirt on, it stinks.
Me - Shut up, bitch
For “Argument” 2, if I ask my wife to do something in the shower I can guarantee you that it has nothing to do with my back.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:35 pm to Steadyhands
quote:
you must be a bit fat to not be able to reach your mid back.
It’s the area just under the shoulder blade to about mid shoulder blade a few inches either side of the spine. I have bad shoulders from rugby, but there was never a time when I could touch that spot. That takes contortionist levels of flexibility.
Posted on 8/24/19 at 1:37 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Your wife thinks she's smarter than you.
And since you put this out on the OT, I'm leaning toward agreeing with her.
And since you put this out on the OT, I'm leaning toward agreeing with her.
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