IRS Scam Leads to Racial Slurs and Derogatory Exchanges

Everything I am about to tell you is from a real-life encounter, hand to God. You cannot make this stuff up.

So my uncle received a computerized message on his home answering machine from the IRS saying that they reviewed his tax filings from 2008 and there was an issue involving $3500 owed to the federal government. The computerized message provided a non 1-800 number and requested my uncle to call back within 24-36 hours in order to ensure that no criminal charges would be field.

My uncle is skeptical to say the least. He hasn't received any sort of official documentation from the IRS relating to any improper tax filings.

He decides to call the number just for the hell of it and begins speaking with an individual of obvious Arabic descent who begins listing all of the potential consequences which might befall my uncle and his wife if the $3500 are not paid off within 24-36 hours. The individual also stated that my uncle could be arrested by the police if he would fail to comply.

My uncle realizes what sort of bullshite is afoot and states that he works for the Baton Rouge Police Department, he does not, and states that there is no such authority granted by the police to simply arrest someone in such a given situation. The man on the other line offers a retort to which my uncle replies that his father is the Secretary of the State, he is not, and therefore such a scenario is unlikely.

The man on the phone asks my uncle how to spell his name, to which my uncle replies, "Well, if you are with the IRS shouldn't you have that information?"

The man replies, "Yes but we just want to confirm the spelling of your name in order to verify the accuracy of our information."

My uncle says, "Why don't you tell me what you have in front of you and I will confirm whether or not it's correct?"

The gentleman on the line is befuddled and simply remarks, "Moving on...".

My uncle then says something to the extent of, "Let me guess, next you're going to ask me for my checking account information? Is that correct? Or maybe my social security number perhaps you smug bastard."

So the guy hangs up.

My uncle, not satisfied with the obvious scam, calls the number back and begins to speak with yet another presumed Arab who identifies himself as an IRS officer.

My uncle asks for the business's physical address because he does not believe that the individuals he have spoken with are part of the IRS and are merely attempting to steal his money.

After a bit of a pause the individual on the line replies, "I'm in your living room fricking your wife."

My uncle says, "What did you say?"

"I'm in your room fricking your wife, and she's liking it."

A little background information about my uncle, he was born in rural West Virginia and has a decent amount of Sicilian ancestry. He has a very short fuse and does not like to be fricked with or insulted in any capacity.

So after hearing this fella make such an insulting remark about his wife, my uncle proceeds to launch into an epic, five-minute-long verbal lashing employing every expletive and derogatory term known to man.

Some of the particularly amusing insults were:
1."I will gouge out your eyes and skull frick you in your empty sockets until your bastard children cry."
and
2. "Our country will level your entire building and probably whatever shite hole country you call home."

The man offered a number of equally entertaining remarks which were constructed in broken English and related to various acts of sodomy.

Example: "I will frick you in your arse until your dick bleeds and then make you eat it."

Has anyone had this exciting of a Monday so far?