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Started By
Message
re: Infidelity in a marriage
Posted on 11/16/24 at 12:49 am to Rex Feral
Posted on 11/16/24 at 12:49 am to Rex Feral
quote:
It also came out she kissed another man while on her honeymoon.
Damn...
quote:
If your spouse cheated on you and you stayed with her would you feel justified in cheating on them?
You may love them to death but you have to move on. They can never be trusted again.
1
Posted on 11/16/24 at 12:53 am to Old Money
Bunch on insecure pussies in this thread
Posted on 11/16/24 at 1:51 am to Honest Tune
quote:
You’re a huge pussy for letting another man beat up on your kids.
Ok Superman. How does this make me a pussy?
- incidents occurred 90 minutes away in my ex’s house in another state
- it was inside her house
-She had him arrested
- Immediate no contact order put in place, affair partner moves out
- I file emergency custody petition, it’s denied as my ex says the guy is out permanently
- Affair partner pleads it down to avoid jail
- Ex moves him back in after the plea and no contact order expires
- I find out about it a couple weeks later
- My state had jurisdiction for custody, I file another emergency petition for custody
- I win, kids are switched to me full time, she only has supervised visitation, and loses all legal custody ( she can’t be a part of any major decisions)
Stuff had been going on for years in her house - mostly arrests of him beating her, nothing involving the kids. Every time there was an arrest, when it got to trial, she would say the cop got the info wrong, she was mistaken, etc and charges dropped.
I exhausted every legal avenue to get my kids out of the situation. Lots of smoke, but it took a conviction and her moving him back in for the courts to finally make a move.
6 years after I got the kids, one child is at a Service Academy, the other is a union electrical lineman.
The fall out from infidelity is horrible. She got herself involved with someone every definition of scumbag who knew how to work the system.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 2:21 am to BradBallard
I was getting livid reading that account of their time there. What you did was brave, courageous, and is an actual miracle.
I'm happy their dad wasn't an emotionally delicate or irrational person who limited the possibility for their success by lashing out, making an impossible situation worse with anger, violence, and more of the very same they had just dealt with.
You can't win playing with people whose strategic solution for every situation is to feign victimization. Then, follow up with one part deception, two parts ignorance, and a dash of bitters.
I'm happy their dad wasn't an emotionally delicate or irrational person who limited the possibility for their success by lashing out, making an impossible situation worse with anger, violence, and more of the very same they had just dealt with.
You can't win playing with people whose strategic solution for every situation is to feign victimization. Then, follow up with one part deception, two parts ignorance, and a dash of bitters.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 4:11 am to Rex Feral
If you stay with someone who has cheated on you than at some level you have stated that you will tolerate it. If I find out my wife cheated on me it is over. Same if I did it to her, it is something we both made clear that is something we would not tolerate. If someone stays with someone who has cheated on them than don't cry about it ,because if they do it once than they will do it continuously.
This post was edited on 11/16/24 at 1:47 pm
Posted on 11/16/24 at 4:19 am to AZBadgerFan
quote:Probably not if they had cheated on a spouse, but if they cheated on a HS or college partner many years ago, maybe. That shite happens. I imagine many dudes here cheated in teen relationships.
Would anyone here date or marry a man/woman who admitted he/she had cheated in the past? I have friends who have done it but without question that's a "no" for me.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 6:06 am to 6R12
quote:
You hear people often say "I'm getting back at my spouse bc they cheated on me first so I'm doing the same thing".
Now if the cheater is in the room crying and making hairy palms while the other spouse is having the revenge sex, that is a whole genre of pern
Posted on 11/16/24 at 7:09 am to BradBallard
quote:
Ok Superman. How does this make me a pussy? - incidents occurred 90 minutes away in my ex’s house in another state - it was inside her house -She had him arrested - Immediate no contact order put in place, affair partner moves out - I file emergency custody petition, it’s denied as my ex says the guy is out permanently - Affair partner pleads it down to avoid jail - Ex moves him back in after the plea and no contact order expires - I find out about it a couple weeks later - My state had jurisdiction for custody, I file another emergency petition for custody - I win, kids are switched to me full time, she only has supervised visitation, and loses all legal custody ( she can’t be a part of any major decisions) Stuff had been going on for years in her house - mostly arrests of him beating her, nothing involving the kids. Every time there was an arrest, when it got to trial, she would say the cop got the info wrong, she was mistaken, etc and charges dropped. I exhausted every legal avenue to get my kids out of the situation. Lots of smoke, but it took a conviction and her moving him back in for the courts to finally make a move. 6 years after I got the kids, one child is at a Service Academy, the other is a union electrical lineman. The fall out from infidelity is horrible. She got herself involved with someone every definition of scumbag who knew how to work the system.
I’m sorry you had that experience but if anyone put their hands on my kid, or even one of my nieces or nephews, it would be a dark day for that human.
People are wired different though and clearly you saw fit to let shite drag out in a court room rather than go straight to the source and push the lights out button.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 7:31 am to Honest Tune
quote:
I’m sorry you had that experience but if anyone put their hands on my kid, or even one of my nieces or nephews, it would be a dark day for that human.
People are wired different though and clearly you saw fit to let shite drag out in a court room rather than go straight to the source and push the lights out button.
If he does what you’re thinking here, what happens? He goes to jail and ends up giving the ex more ammo to restrict his custody or worse and the POS boyfriend is still in the picture to possibly do it again?
That guy 100% took the best route possible to protect his kid. What you “would have done” is simply protect your own ego.
This post was edited on 11/16/24 at 7:33 am
Posted on 11/16/24 at 7:32 am to Dadren
quote:
If he does what you’re thinking here, what happens?
When those kids grow up, they'll realize he was a fricking man and not a pussy.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 8:05 am to Dadren
quote:
That guy 100% took the best route possible to protect his kid. What you “would have done” is simply protect your own ego.
Taking action against someone that beat your kid is not ego, my friend.
Gary Plauche is a walking heroic meme on this board for a reason.
FYI: I wasn’t talking about killing the man. But if you handle things the right way, he will never again lay his hands on your kids and will think twice about putting them on anyone ever again. Just my two cents. I was brought up differently than some, so I’ll recognize that in my beliefs.
I hope everyone in this thread has or finds peace in their life. Hug your kids, hug your wives, don’t let the devil in. Best advice I can offer. He’s roaming about…
This post was edited on 11/16/24 at 8:12 am
Posted on 11/16/24 at 8:14 am to Honest Tune
quote:
Taking action against someone that beat your kid is not ego, my friend.
If that action isn’t the one that is in the best interest of your kid, it certainly is.
quote:
Gary Plauche is a walking heroic meme on this board for a reason.
He is. But what if Gary had been convicted of first degree murder? Do you think Jody would be on here posting “I’m glad my dad did what he did even though he’s in Angola right now”? I don’t know him, but he seems like a guy who would rather have his dad in his life vs having the guy who assaulted him dead.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 8:18 am to Slippy
quote:
For a bunch of folks who like to profess being Christian, this board sure doesn't think much of forgiveness. Forgiveness is like the central theme of Christianity. Jesus himself was big on it. Talked about it all the time. What happens in a marriage is between the husband, the wife, and God. If a spouse chooses to forgive the other, God bless them. Just because you couldn't do it does not mean it is not a virtue.
Jesus says that divorcing a spouse, except for sexual immorality, is considered adultery.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 8:25 am to msudawg1200
quote:Isn't adultery itself a form of sexual immorality?
Jesus says that divorcing a spouse, except for sexual immorality, is considered adultery.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 8:26 am to Dadren
quote:
He is. But what if Gary had been convicted of first degree murder? Do you think Jody would be on here posting “I’m glad my dad did what he did even though he’s in Angola right now”? I don’t know him, but he seems like a guy who would rather have his dad in his life vs having the guy who assaulted him dead.
I can’t answer for that. I’ve reared my daughter (only child) as a single father, until recently I got married. Was never married to my child’s mother but we have done our best to communicate through the 12 years we have had a kid together. We established a parenting plan and boundaries for romantic involvement in her life from the very beginning. It’s kept things clean and professional, on the same page pretty much with our romantic dealings as they pertain to our daughter. It’s been a “step in time saves nine” approach.
Hear me on this though… if I ever at any point felt like there was frickery of any violent sort in any way related to my child, I would have 100% swiftly and efficiently nipped it in the bud. I can only speak for my life. Maybe my original comment about the dude being a pussy was harsh, he could be a cauliflower ear smooth brain that fights walls for all I know. But pussy was the first word that came to mind when I considered any scenario of violence with my kids with no blowback from the father.
All in all it sucks the baw had to deal with that and I’m empathetic enough to put myself in his shoes… it’s a shite sandwich.
This post was edited on 11/16/24 at 8:29 am
Posted on 11/16/24 at 8:47 am to Rex Feral
quote:
If your spouse cheated on you and you stayed with her
I wouldn't and didn't. The second I had proof, I confronted her and told her I wanted a divorce. I could never repair the trust in the marriage once cheated on.
I refused to even date while getting the divorce because it would still feel like cheating to me.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 8:56 am to Huey Lewis
You wouldn’t do shite.
This post was edited on 11/16/24 at 8:56 am
Posted on 11/16/24 at 10:35 am to TomballTiger
Based on statistics, a third of the people in this thread are being cheated on or have been cheated on in the last year.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 10:44 am to Florida_Man1981
quote:
Based on statistics, a third of the people in this thread are being cheated on or have been cheated on in the last year.
Probably higher than that.
Married women can be very aggressive and like married guys, because they'll keep the secret.
Posted on 11/16/24 at 10:55 am to Tyga Woods
quote:
you have to forgive
Most people and particularly American women, are not capable of this at all. They will hold a grudge for ten-thousand years, if they lived that long.
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