I'm joining the SJW movement. Who wants to join Fatties Fasting for Freedom?

As a fatty, I will not stand for the current movement against obesity and being happy. They say we can't have Big Gulps or value meals. You want 3500 calories? Too bad.

Is this what America has come to?

I'm sorry that my sweats and stench offend you. I have big bones. My genes made me this way. Can't we all get along in 2015?

Here are a list of my demands:

1. We demand that POTUS, Barack Hussein Obama, write a hand-written apology to me and hold a press conference in the Panchos reading the letter. In the letter and at the press conference, Barack Obama must acknowledge his skinny privilege, recognize that systems of oppression exits, and provide a verbal commitment to fulfilling Fatties For Justice demands. We want Barack and his lovely wife, Michelle, to admit their gross negligence, allowing our school lunches to become bird food.

2. We demand the immediate removal of Barack Hussein Obama as POTUS. After his removal, a new amendment to the constitution must be established to make fatties a protected class.

3. We demand that the FDA and USDA meet the food requirements of the 1980's.

4. We demand that the USA creates and enforces comprehensive fatty awareness and inclusion curriculum throughout all government departments. This curriculum must be vetted, maintained, and overseen by a board comprised of people who weigh no less than three hundred (300) lbs.

5. We demand that by the year 2018, the USA increases the percentage of fatties by 10 percent.

6. We demand that the USA composes a strategic 10-year plan on May, 1 2016 that will increase minimum requirements on waist sizes for designer jeans, and promote a more safe and inclusive nation.

7. We demand that the USA increases funding and resources for the purpose of hiring additional training of culinary schools and bakeries, and reducing the amount of gyms nation wide.

8. We demand that the USA increases funding, resources and personnel for the social justice centers on campus for the purpose of hiring additional professionals, particularly those of girth, boosting outreach and programming across the country.

These demands are simple. I will fast until BHO steps down.