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re: I'm angry that my sister is dead.
Posted on 3/11/23 at 12:28 pm to yurintroubl
Posted on 3/11/23 at 12:28 pm to yurintroubl
quote:
Sounds like you've been through about 5 lifetimes worth of grief. You are a VERY strong person for that alone. Until you get in to talk to somebody - Make sure you take care of the basics - Eat food and drink water. Put your headphones in and listen to something you enjoy (perhaps something you and your sister enjoyed). Music puts me in a headspace to relax. If you are exhausted - Movies and TV may be more difficult bc your eyes are tired. Get yourself a notebook and a pen/pencil. Start writing out whatever is on your mind. You can burn it, shred it... whatever you want later. For now - Since it seems you don't have somebody you feel you can talk to yet - You just need to start expressing your feelings and getting them out into the universe. If you are in any way like me - That will help and sleep will come.
On here is the only place I’ve really expressed how I feel about all of this. I read peoples inflections of their voice and their faces too well and 85-90%+ of people detach after the first 20 seconds of talking about something serious like this whether because they don’t know what to say, just don’t care, whatever the reason. Social media has much to do with it I think. I went out last night and had a great night with a lady friend until around 12 when drama got started with other people and I went home. Slept decent but I drank like a fish last night which was a mistake. I’m eating and drinking water more often lately because I was starting to just feel horrible and logic said you’re probably dehydrated dumbass lol. I’ve started reading my bible more and it’s helped a lot, there just isn’t a magic overnight fix.
2
Posted on 3/20/23 at 5:25 am to ColdTurkey
Sorry coldturkey I don't get on here much anymore. I'm around if you ever need to talk. You could post in the lunch THREAD and someone will alert me.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 7:19 am to ColdTurkey
Sounds like you need a break and there are no or few outlets available to you to achieve this. Look, you are your mom's primary care giver, that right there is a rough burden and with everything else it puts more weight than any one person can handle psychically.
When my Dad died I was it for my mom and I was also handling a lot of other shite. Fiancee had broken it off a week before, mom in not so good health and issues with work. I had trouble sleeping, etc. I found becoming regimented did a lot of good. Everything was scheduled more or less. Wake up, exercise for 50 minutes...either push ups, sit ups ....something cardio,I finally got a bike and put in about 8 miles in the morning. Come home, shower, check on mom. Get something to eat, get dressed. Get the sitter all squared away.Go to work.....concentrate solely on work, eliminate the distractions ( I am a lawyer so I dealt with other people's problems) at lunch every day I gave myself 15 minutes of total decompress....alone in my office, lights out shades drawn and just sat there and breathed. Ate lunch.... you get the picture. Find a way to develop what you see as a normal life....oh yeah, give yourself time to think about what bothers you...you have to . Talk to someone, a priest, a friend or a professional. Stay busy in constructive ways. On the weekends I built things. My mom's house got a new deck and a water garden put of this.
Finally, my brother moved back close to my mom, and I had an offer to go to NYC for a job that my mom, brother and uncle kind of forced me to take in August of 2001. For almost two years I lived regimented.
It helped me. But I learned this, give your grief the night off after 10 pm. Don't worry, it will still be there in the morning, but it will also have had time to rest as well. It probably needs it as much as you do.
When my Dad died I was it for my mom and I was also handling a lot of other shite. Fiancee had broken it off a week before, mom in not so good health and issues with work. I had trouble sleeping, etc. I found becoming regimented did a lot of good. Everything was scheduled more or less. Wake up, exercise for 50 minutes...either push ups, sit ups ....something cardio,I finally got a bike and put in about 8 miles in the morning. Come home, shower, check on mom. Get something to eat, get dressed. Get the sitter all squared away.Go to work.....concentrate solely on work, eliminate the distractions ( I am a lawyer so I dealt with other people's problems) at lunch every day I gave myself 15 minutes of total decompress....alone in my office, lights out shades drawn and just sat there and breathed. Ate lunch.... you get the picture. Find a way to develop what you see as a normal life....oh yeah, give yourself time to think about what bothers you...you have to . Talk to someone, a priest, a friend or a professional. Stay busy in constructive ways. On the weekends I built things. My mom's house got a new deck and a water garden put of this.
Finally, my brother moved back close to my mom, and I had an offer to go to NYC for a job that my mom, brother and uncle kind of forced me to take in August of 2001. For almost two years I lived regimented.
It helped me. But I learned this, give your grief the night off after 10 pm. Don't worry, it will still be there in the morning, but it will also have had time to rest as well. It probably needs it as much as you do.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 8:32 am to ColdTurkey
Anger is a part of the grieving process. Seek help, but know it's normal.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 8:39 am to fallguy_1978
I'm with you. I never sleep a whole day. My mind won't stop. I take meds but still cannot sleep. I had to fall asleep before 10pm.
Having a good memory is a curse. It never stops.
I loathe it
Having a good memory is a curse. It never stops.
I loathe it
This post was edited on 3/20/23 at 8:41 am
Posted on 3/20/23 at 8:42 am to ColdTurkey
talk therapy around grief works. you can find therapy on line pretty easy and affordable now. There are also groups focused on processing grief. I just lost my daughter. I feel your pain.
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